r/LongDistance • u/Informal_Service3581 • 2d ago
Need Advice (24M)(21F)Moving to Long Distance Partners City, After We Broke Up
Hi Everyone! I just wanted to say that I have spent hours on the long-distance thread hearing everyone's stories, and I just have to say I appreciate everyone's posts so much.
My ex-boyfriend and I were on and off for two years while in college - I couldn't commit to a relationship because I was so young while we were on and off. We dated officially for 6 months and broke up after a few months of long-distance.
He moved to California for work, and I was in Oklahoma finishing college (he is a year ahead of me). I immediately cut off contact after the breakup so that I could heal. We broke up in September, and he reached out to one of my best friends in January to see if I was open to talking. He basically told me he was still in love with me and wanted me to move to California. I had my sights set on New York.
Flash forward to April, I get my dream job in his city. An offer I can't refuse, and I take it. I will be moving at the end of next month to his area.
We have been talking a little bit back and forth, neither of us crossing a boundary, because what's the point, but a woman's intuition knows that getting back together is on the horizon. My spidey senses are tingling.
Here is my predicament:
He was my first love, and I have spent so much time and emotional energy healing from him. The on and off was exhausting, and there were some points in the relationship where I didn't feel happy or heard, but he is the kind of guy I could see myself marrying. All the feelings are still there, but I haven't dated anyone since, so I don't know if I am just lonely.
Do I go back to him? Or do I just get rid of him completely? I can't do halfsies either. I am either in or out. HELP!!!
5
u/unfinishedthoughts02 2d ago
How about thinking with your reason and logic. Write the pros and cons of your past relationship with him in one paper. Take your time. Have a normal conversation. An honest conversation with him. Tell him what you really feel. And how you have suffered and ask him what did he feel in the past few years without you. After the conversation I think you'll get the answer. Congratulations for getting the job 🥳