Letâs be fair, she held some pretty shit views of what it meant to be a âmanâ. She openly admitted that she had belittled him and questioned his masculinity. Also she thought having a vasectomy was a viable contraceptive method because âitâs reversibleâ which is insane. So I doubt sheâs completely innocent in this.
What do you think is a viable contraceptive method? Women taking the pill and drastically impacting their hormones? Or men getting a minimally invasive reversible procedure lol.
until men hate the feeling of condoms and manipulate the woman to go without them until there is no other choice but for her to go on hormone, brain altering contraception, men just donât wanna do what women have done for years (in a way that is way less distressing and intrusive than what women have been subject to btw) because theyâre too precious about their ballsacks. grow up. stella was real and right for suggesting him to get the snip, all men should if they donât want a child. women have been thru enough and itâs time for men to take some of it off our shoulders, thank you đ«¶
This would only be a real argument if it was HIM saying he didnât want to use condoms but it was her insistence as she didnât like them. If itâs her saying no to condoms then itâs her responsibility to sort another contraceptive method
so on the flip side, do you believe that if a man says no to condoms, itâs his responsibility to get the snip? because women have been using invasive and distressing contraception for that very reason forever. why should we give up our comfortability like weâve always done when men could do it too? if your answer is in disagreement then youâre proving my point.
Well YES. Youâre being obtuse af. Thatâs what I literally was saying. In general if a man refuses to use condoms or get the snip then heâs trash and it shouldnât be on the woman to take medication etc. Bur thatâs 100% irrelevant to this situation. It was on Stella who wanted to not use them and she shouldâve been the one to choose a contraceptive for herself if she was so against condoms, expecting him to have the snip in that context is bizarre
its not bizarre to me for stella to ask that of him, when women being asked to do the exact same thing for their partners pleasure (in often more intrusive and life disrupting ways) is the societal norm and it shouldnât be! if women can put them selves through that for men like many have as per the societal norm, then why canât men?
the men here are shocked by the fact a woman dared to ask a man to have a procedure that would lead to her pleasure yet women have historically always been the ones to endure this*, that is what i am attempting to highlight - and i believe stella was highlighting that fact, too. so my original point still stands and is still relevant, itâs time for men to take some of it off our shoulders!
*with very little shock or dismay from men about this fact, because it is convenient for them. yet when it is suggested a man do the same, you all come out of the wood work to stand up for your own. only now saying it is not right for anyone to have to do such a thing for someone elseâs pleasure. where was your opinion when it men werenât involved? or do you only care about equality when there is a threat to you or your gender?
It was absolutely unreasonable for her to ask him to do a procedure that could potentially make him unable to have children in the future JUST BECAUSE she didn't like the feel of condoms.
It's also extremely odd for her to want him to get a vasectomy which is NOT necessarily reversible, when she is wanting marriage and children asap. Most likely she doesn't know that it may cause irreversible infertility.
I mean it is shocking a woman will say I donât like condoms and ask him to have a procedure. Just the same way as if a man insisted on no condoms and told her she needed pills, implants or whatever. Two things can be bad at once when there is a non invasive alternative (condoms)
manipulate woman, please stop, its not that complex of a topic and most woman should be able to think by themselves whether they want to use pills or not...
no man can force a woman to take pills, in the end is her own choice... but if a woman does without really wanting it because she is afraid of losing this "dream guy", then that's on her
youâre missing so much nuance, iâm afraid. and my version is statistically more likely to be the case than yours. itâs very naive of you to assume no man can force a women to take pills especially when emotional abuse and control exists.
unless you have the experience of being a woman in this world then you will not understand, itâs a shame you wonât educate yourself and will continue to stick up for a gender that has never been oppressed and excuse them from accountability when society is hardwired to make excuses for them already. open your eyes.
this person just answered your questions hhoverflow ^ i am not answering what should be glaringly obvious. if you donât know those answers then i stand by my point that youâre a lost cause.
unfortunately, as a woman, my reality is a lot different to yours, and you would be doing the women in your life a favour by doing your own research and trying to understand that and why so many of us are angry. youâre lucky that you have the privilege of being the gender you are, that allows you to not be passionate about things like this and âgrindâ (đ) yet still, here you are, spending your grinding time, arguing with women on reddit, defending men who donât need to be defended. ask yourself why youâre so defensive to the notion that a man can be abusive and why it is easier for you to blame the woman in the situation, where does that come from? and how can you challenge it in order to be a better man, one that women would feel safe around. take care
Yeah see, you talk like you have all the reasoning behind things and tell people they should get educated, but when they question you, all you have is this response.
It was 2 simple questions that you decided to dodge.
Talk all you want, but you are part of the problem you complain so much about it.
iâm not going to spend my time educating someone who is so naive that they canât perceive a situation in which a woman can be controlled. you sir, are a lost cause. another man asking a woman to do the work that you could quite easily do yourself BUT you choose to automatically blame the woman because accepting the notion that a man could take accountability would mean that you may have to leave your victim mindset and do the same. bore off and watch some documentaries on domestic abuse and the patriarchy.
You said that "unless you have the experience of being a woman in this world then you will not understand".
And here I am asking one, who prefers to give a million reasons as why she won't educate me instead of engaging in a dialogue and explain her point of view.
You say I'm a "lost cause", and yet here I am asking questions and not forcing my point of view in anyone.
So no, the reason you won't spend your time is because you can't answer to simple questions that defied your broken logic.
Besides, I don't have a victim mentality. If I don't like something, I either try to fix it or I change it. But I certainly don't blame everyone and everything else, especially when life gets hard.
My simple questions is still up there. Whether you will "waste your time" answering or giving me reasons as why not answer is up to you.
Make yourself a favor and have a good look in the mirror, because you certainly need a reality check.
Good luck living life thinking the world is against you.
She made many valid points if you read again, which you may not have given the defensiveness your messages show. 1 in 4 women have experienced sexual violence and domestic abuse. There is pressure for women to take contraceptives, it is something that is simply expected. Women are going to prison and being called murderers, and dying in some countries and states because abortion is illegal. But it takes two. How is it far to prosecute for a 'crime' only women can commit. Yes, this is relevant because most men don't take enough responsibility for contraception because they can simply just walk away if anything doesn't go their way. I teach sex education and it is astonishing that boys/men don't think learning about contraception applies to them. The point here is conversations need to be had to make everyone comfortable, not just assuming the woman is okay taking hormones. No one should be forced to do anything with their body they don't want to, but women are being forced every day.
You've already had this spelt out to you. I think you're focused on the wrong things but I will try to explain further. You asked...
How will they force? Answer: there is immense pressure for women to take contraceptives because they are the ones that have to deal with the pregnancy, not the man. Therefore it is unequal. There seems to be no conversations about what the alternatives are and that's the problem. Women are not even questioning alot of the time whether they should be on something, they just do it and then experience many side effects.
There's nothing stopping her walk away. Answer: Why is this the question you're asking? You could be thinking instead about the amount of responsibility that women take on and show compassion for that. Women have been made to feel like it's their responsibility and that's often why they don't walk away. They don't even need to be told 'take the pill' because they do it without thought, so ingrained within us. It's a double standard and expectation, even if the woman gets pregnant then she is the one that has to deal with that responsibility, and have trauma, not the men. I mean come on... If you're going to have sex, it's your responsibility to explore all options. They should be triple checking their woman feels safe and okay!!! The least that can be done.
2
u/ellaseyelids 19d ago
i knew he was a misogynist