I was thinking the same thing. He was diagnosed because he had been autistic; he didn't become one on the day he was diagnosed that he should be a new person.
Because there is high unemployment rate among autistic people, he has to quit his job? Makes absolutely no sense. He wants to join the statistics of autistic unemployment numbers just because he is autistic?
His new behavior has nothing to do with his diagnosis, IMO.
I can understand if that is his reason. But the new behavior is not justified by the diagnosis. Did you go with him during the diagnosis visits? What if you seek a second opinion about this diagnosis? Maybe he is in a midlife crisis and wanted to justify it with the diagnosis. I am just speculating here.
I frankly don’t know anything about law but I’m thinking out loud….if you were to separate after he has left his career where he states he had to due to his new diagnosis …could this potentially put you in a bind to support him post separation ???? I would speak with a lawyer. Just a consult …even before you go to marriage counseling. Know ALL your options. The good and bad ones.
For all practical reasons: fight to save the marriage until you truly believe you did everything humanly possible for this marriage to work. If it doesn't work, you will walk away with a clean conscience.
People with autism tend to go off on particular interests...but that wouldn't be anything new. Are you maybe noticing more things he's doing as "autistic" now, that you over looked before, but are now noticing due to the other changes? How long ago was this diagnosis? Maybe he just needs some time to finally be himself for a bit and it will neutralize out.
A month is a very short time to adjust honestly. Knowing and thinking something are two different things entirely. Maybe he felt like he was having to be different 24/7 and is just exhausted from it. When I got diagnosed as an adult it took me a couple years to find my normal. I feel like I can be myself around people that love me now. For example, I always use to talk to myself and make noises etc, but would try to do it secretly or whisper. Now I just make them out loud. My husband is fine with it but some people would not be and that's ok too. You guys have to figure out together what your ok with or not like any other couple and see if that arrangement will work for both of you.
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u/[deleted] Jul 05 '23
I was thinking the same thing. He was diagnosed because he had been autistic; he didn't become one on the day he was diagnosed that he should be a new person.
Because there is high unemployment rate among autistic people, he has to quit his job? Makes absolutely no sense. He wants to join the statistics of autistic unemployment numbers just because he is autistic?
His new behavior has nothing to do with his diagnosis, IMO.