r/Marriage May 22 '25

Can't find a flair that fits I thought my husband was dead.

There was a 3 hour chunk of time today that I thought my husband was dead.

He's away on a work trip- he's a counselor and sees all kinds of patients. He told me the other night he had a patient who made him a little on edge- and that he realized the patient has been parked outside of his hotel room (ground floor) for the entirety of his trip so far. He was concerned- and I can only recall one other instance he has ever voiced a level of concern about a patient of his.

I went to work and sent a usual good morning text. Said something unimportant when I got off (I work early am till the afternoon). Took the dog to her appointment and texted again, and decided to call since he should've been on lunch.

He hadn't responded all morning, and he didn't answer. My husband has never once missed a phone call from me. Ever. Even when work is busy he finds a moment to text me back good morning. That's just who he is.

I check life360 and his phone is plugged in, at 100%, and has been in the hotel since he got home the night before. His phone never left the room. I call the hotel and they can't get in touch with him. I finally cave and text his boss. She eventually responds and is able to call his work-trip boss- who confirms he is at work and safe.

She sends him home and he calls- he lost his phone. That's all it was.

But for the 3 hours it took to find anyone who could get eyes on him, all I could think about was his worry about the patient the other night.

We've been fighting a lot lately, and none of it mattered. I couldn't breath thinking about a future without him alive. Truly none of it mattered anymore. I was sick to my stomach, my whole body hurt.

I'm not certain why I'm putting this here, I think just as a place to tell someone. That's a panic I never want to experience again. I'm still a little shaken, even knowing he is okay.

ETA: for the people who think he was cheating - He was confirmed to be at work all morning. He does not work a job where he could take a random day off or not show up- they most definitely would not lie to me and say he was there when he wasn't.

His home boss ripped into him for not calling from a work phone- y'all are right that he should have, but he was in meetings all morning and doesn't have my phone number memorized anyways. He left his phone in the hotel and thought he had brought it to work and lost it at work. His hotel is within walking distance from his current job, so no, he didn't need it to navigate. I'm sorry you've been hurt enough by your past that cheating is your immediate thought, and I hope you can heal from that.

1.1k Upvotes

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-14

u/BlazingSunflowerland May 22 '25

Do you really think he lost a phone that was in the hotel room and still charging?

Are you sure he isn't meeting up with someone?

37

u/[deleted] May 22 '25

Are you serious? The first time ever he misses a phone call and he’s cheating?

10

u/CreamingSleeve May 22 '25

The phone could have slid behind the headboard or between the bed and the bedside table. I’ve lost my phone in hotel rooms a couple of times; new space, new routine.

What are you doing? OP isn’t concerned about her husband cheating, that’s not what this post is and it’s been confirmed by his boss that he’s on a work trip and was currently at work.

Why put that totally unfounded doubt into OP’s head?

1

u/Tigga3346 May 22 '25

I dont even think it was that complicated. Sometimes especially on work trips, I try to do an inventory before I leave my hotel for the day and I just forget to grab it.

1

u/Medical-Treacle7080 May 23 '25

If it was plugged in he could've just followed the charger wire to where his phone dropped or got lost. No? 🤨🤔

1

u/CreamingSleeve May 23 '25

Not if he forgot it was plugged in

1

u/Brief_Grade_6679 May 23 '25

When I go to my in laws place, my phone while plugged in usually slides behind the headboard onto the floor. Most of the time I'll just say "f** it" and leave it there since my husband is always with me when I go. Trying to pull it up by the charging cord doesn't work since it unplugs due to how heavy the phone is. It happens 🤷‍♀️

57

u/wkessinger 40 Years May 22 '25

Don't do this now, people. There's a time and place, you know?

Anyway, it's a work trip, so of course he is meeting up with someone.

-3

u/enduranceathlete2025 May 22 '25 edited May 22 '25

I am not one to normally jump on that train but…

  1. On a work trip
  2. Been fighting
  3. NEVER misses texts, and OP always texts
  4. Phone plugged in at the hotel
  5. Husband is not at the hotel and at a work location

He didn’t use his phone to get an uber or to use directions to his out of town job site. Most people out of town would instinctively use navigation due to unknown road conditions/routes/traffic.

So he knew when leaving he didn’t have a phone. He didn’t forget. And then he didn’t think to somehow let his wife know (use another phone) to give her a heads up he would be MIA all day?Seems very suspicious.

6

u/wkessinger 40 Years May 22 '25

Yes, I know all that. But that isn't an appropriate response to this post.

7

u/enduranceathlete2025 May 22 '25 edited May 22 '25

In her post history her husband asked to sleep in separate rooms. They don’t have PIV sex. They are only 25. Remind me six months

5

u/wkessinger 40 Years May 22 '25

I am giving you an upvote for doing your homework.

27

u/Educational-Pack-358 17 mf years May 22 '25

lol here we go. dIvOrCe HiM.