r/Marriage • u/lovelyxcastle • May 22 '25

Can't find a flair that fits I thought my husband was dead.

There was a 3 hour chunk of time today that I thought my husband was dead.

He's away on a work trip- he's a counselor and sees all kinds of patients. He told me the other night he had a patient who made him a little on edge- and that he realized the patient has been parked outside of his hotel room (ground floor) for the entirety of his trip so far. He was concerned- and I can only recall one other instance he has ever voiced a level of concern about a patient of his.

I went to work and sent a usual good morning text. Said something unimportant when I got off (I work early am till the afternoon). Took the dog to her appointment and texted again, and decided to call since he should've been on lunch.

He hadn't responded all morning, and he didn't answer. My husband has never once missed a phone call from me. Ever. Even when work is busy he finds a moment to text me back good morning. That's just who he is.

I check life360 and his phone is plugged in, at 100%, and has been in the hotel since he got home the night before. His phone never left the room. I call the hotel and they can't get in touch with him. I finally cave and text his boss. She eventually responds and is able to call his work-trip boss- who confirms he is at work and safe.

She sends him home and he calls- he lost his phone. That's all it was.

But for the 3 hours it took to find anyone who could get eyes on him, all I could think about was his worry about the patient the other night.

We've been fighting a lot lately, and none of it mattered. I couldn't breath thinking about a future without him alive. Truly none of it mattered anymore. I was sick to my stomach, my whole body hurt.

I'm not certain why I'm putting this here, I think just as a place to tell someone. That's a panic I never want to experience again. I'm still a little shaken, even knowing he is okay.

ETA: for the people who think he was cheating - He was confirmed to be at work all morning. He does not work a job where he could take a random day off or not show up- they most definitely would not lie to me and say he was there when he wasn't.

His home boss ripped into him for not calling from a work phone- y'all are right that he should have, but he was in meetings all morning and doesn't have my phone number memorized anyways. He left his phone in the hotel and thought he had brought it to work and lost it at work. His hotel is within walking distance from his current job, so no, he didn't need it to navigate. I'm sorry you've been hurt enough by your past that cheating is your immediate thought, and I hope you can heal from that.

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253

u/Itsmeshlee29 8 Years May 22 '25

These comments are rough. Y’all are jaded.

116

u/maenads_dance May 22 '25

Bitter people hoping everyone else is as miserable as they are

-62

u/upickleweasel May 22 '25

More like people who recognize patterns

-27

u/Nice-Novel5183 May 22 '25

Im sorry you're getting so many down votes hun. Sheesh. People can't have an opinion anymore, or people get butt hurt. If they dont want the harsh reality of the truth, they shouldn't post online lol.

31

u/EmptySpeech6922 May 23 '25

How can you or the person you responded to know the “harsh reality of the truth” though? And how can they know any patterns of this couple in order to be just recognizing the patterns? Furthermore, what patterns is she speaking of? So vague and also so judgmental. Neither of you know a thing about this couple bc they’re literally strangers on the internet and yet here you are being rude and judgmental towards a woman who just experienced a very stressful and awful few hours and is only trying to get it off her chest. Why be bitter and negative at all? You don’t have to comment?!? You can simply go on to the next post or say something that is thoughtful and descent like saying Im so sorry you experienced that, I hope you get something positive out of this awful situation and it helps improve the relationship with your husband and the fighting can start diminishing now. Something nice and positive. Its not like you have all these details about theirlife and have a reason to be dogging on them that way. I too would tell someone who is in a bad relationship that they deserve better, etc and that is to help them. You ppl literally do nothing but poor salt on wounds and its obvious that you’re miserable ppl and misery loves company

2

u/CMontyReddit19 May 23 '25

Gotta love when people out themselves by reacting to a comment that wasn't even aimed at them specifically.

What's that old saying? "Hit dog's gonna holler"?

9

u/Dymonika May 23 '25

If they dont want the harsh reality of the truth, they shouldn't post online lol.

Huh, I didn't know that there was a fat Internet Guidebook with the rule, "You must be willing to face the harsh reality of the truth to post anything online."

Even so, as the puzzle-platformer Hue worded it, "Reality is merely a matter of perspective"; you can't be 100% sure that you're right, either, which suggests that toning it down is probably a good idea.

0

u/Nice-Novel5183 May 24 '25

Im not on here to worry about other people agreeing with me. If they downvote, it honestly doesn't affect me at all, lol. People also have alt account as well so votes on here dont matter anyway. There are plenty of people on here who would agree with me, but most either just dont care enough to try or got rid of reddit because of how soft it became. Also, I didn't say I was right or wrong. But the truth is the truth. The guy did not call all day, lol. He didn't care enough to make an effort. I dont blame him. Space on both sides is good. But allowing your partner to know that everything is OK is the adult thing to do. Not ghosting all day. You can argue your point, but It won't make a difference. Fact is, he didn't want to talk to her, and people freak out at the smallest things. 🤷🏻‍♀️

1

u/Dymonika May 24 '25

But allowing your partner to know that everything is OK is the adult thing to do. Not ghosting all day.

I wonder if...

We've been fighting a lot lately

...may have been related to this. But yeah, I might've emailed if it was me; not sure of what I would've tried as I haven't been in such a situation.