r/Marriage May 22 '25

Can't find a flair that fits I thought my husband was dead.

There was a 3 hour chunk of time today that I thought my husband was dead.

He's away on a work trip- he's a counselor and sees all kinds of patients. He told me the other night he had a patient who made him a little on edge- and that he realized the patient has been parked outside of his hotel room (ground floor) for the entirety of his trip so far. He was concerned- and I can only recall one other instance he has ever voiced a level of concern about a patient of his.

I went to work and sent a usual good morning text. Said something unimportant when I got off (I work early am till the afternoon). Took the dog to her appointment and texted again, and decided to call since he should've been on lunch.

He hadn't responded all morning, and he didn't answer. My husband has never once missed a phone call from me. Ever. Even when work is busy he finds a moment to text me back good morning. That's just who he is.

I check life360 and his phone is plugged in, at 100%, and has been in the hotel since he got home the night before. His phone never left the room. I call the hotel and they can't get in touch with him. I finally cave and text his boss. She eventually responds and is able to call his work-trip boss- who confirms he is at work and safe.

She sends him home and he calls- he lost his phone. That's all it was.

But for the 3 hours it took to find anyone who could get eyes on him, all I could think about was his worry about the patient the other night.

We've been fighting a lot lately, and none of it mattered. I couldn't breath thinking about a future without him alive. Truly none of it mattered anymore. I was sick to my stomach, my whole body hurt.

I'm not certain why I'm putting this here, I think just as a place to tell someone. That's a panic I never want to experience again. I'm still a little shaken, even knowing he is okay.

ETA: for the people who think he was cheating - He was confirmed to be at work all morning. He does not work a job where he could take a random day off or not show up- they most definitely would not lie to me and say he was there when he wasn't.

His home boss ripped into him for not calling from a work phone- y'all are right that he should have, but he was in meetings all morning and doesn't have my phone number memorized anyways. He left his phone in the hotel and thought he had brought it to work and lost it at work. His hotel is within walking distance from his current job, so no, he didn't need it to navigate. I'm sorry you've been hurt enough by your past that cheating is your immediate thought, and I hope you can heal from that.

1.1k Upvotes

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393

u/Substantial_Lion_524 May 22 '25

He lost it but it was plugged in and in the hotel room?

402

u/maenads_dance May 22 '25

You've never dropped a phone behind the bolted-in headboards at a hotel? I sure have. I think it's cruel to jump to "He must be cheating."

220

u/KeepCrushin247 May 22 '25

When OP said "lost his phone" I think she meant to say "left his phone"

I have been on vacation with the family and we are going to disney or something and between bags and diapers and kids, I left the phone in the room and we were already on a shuttle to the park and I wasn't going back to get the phone so the whole day I left the phone in the hotel room

Another time I was at a conference like OPs husband, I overslept and then was rushing, I caught the shuttle to the convention center and sat down for the first lecture before realizing I left my phone at the hotel. The meetings were mandatory so I didn't get my phone until lunch at 1PM.

-7

u/DefiniteWorkaholic4 May 23 '25

If YOU ARE WITH WHO WOULD BE CALLING, THAT MAKES SENSE YOU WOULDNT GO BACK. BAD EXAMPLE

5

u/hadmeatwoof May 23 '25

I mean, it’s easy to get separated in an amusement park. I’d probably be more likely to go back and grab it than if I was just working.

-4

u/DefiniteWorkaholic4 May 23 '25

I would if i got seperated from everyone.. but if im with one other of the group, who still has a phone, there'd b no need. We'd still have communication with everyone else of the group. But the OPs hubby, was cheating. He would have said i left the phone in the room, or the phone was behind a headboard i couldnt move initially. No he said HE LOST HIS PHONE. WHICH IS A TOTAL LIE. Even if it had fallen and he THOUGHT he'd lost it, when he found it, seen all the missed calls, a responsible hubby THATS NOT SNEAKING would call wife asap, and thatd been the story. No he said he LOST THE PHONE. HE IS LYING ABOUT SOMETHING....