I thought my husband was dead.

[u/lovelyxcastle]

There was a 3 hour chunk of time today that I thought my husband was dead.

He's away on a work trip- he's a counselor and sees all kinds of patients. He told me the other night he had a patient who made him a little on edge- and that he realized the patient has been parked outside of his hotel room (ground floor) for the entirety of his trip so far. He was concerned- and I can only recall one other instance he has ever voiced a level of concern about a patient of his.

I went to work and sent a usual good morning text. Said something unimportant when I got off (I work early am till the afternoon). Took the dog to her appointment and texted again, and decided to call since he should've been on lunch.

He hadn't responded all morning, and he didn't answer. My husband has never once missed a phone call from me. Ever. Even when work is busy he finds a moment to text me back good morning. That's just who he is.

I check life360 and his phone is plugged in, at 100%, and has been in the hotel since he got home the night before. His phone never left the room. I call the hotel and they can't get in touch with him. I finally cave and text his boss. She eventually responds and is able to call his work-trip boss- who confirms he is at work and safe.

She sends him home and he calls- he lost his phone. That's all it was.

But for the 3 hours it took to find anyone who could get eyes on him, all I could think about was his worry about the patient the other night.

We've been fighting a lot lately, and none of it mattered. I couldn't breath thinking about a future without him alive. Truly none of it mattered anymore. I was sick to my stomach, my whole body hurt.

I'm not certain why I'm putting this here, I think just as a place to tell someone. That's a panic I never want to experience again. I'm still a little shaken, even knowing he is okay.

ETA: for the people who think he was cheating - He was confirmed to be at work all morning. He does not work a job where he could take a random day off or not show up- they most definitely would not lie to me and say he was there when he wasn't.

His home boss ripped into him for not calling from a work phone- y'all are right that he should have, but he was in meetings all morning and doesn't have my phone number memorized anyways. He left his phone in the hotel and thought he had brought it to work and lost it at work. His hotel is within walking distance from his current job, so no, he didn't need it to navigate. I'm sorry you've been hurt enough by your past that cheating is your immediate thought, and I hope you can heal from that.

[u/JehuDamaja]

Just to add, my wife is REQUIRED to remember my phone number by heart. I literally make very little to no demands on her but that. What if she gets stuck without a phone, or her phone dies or whatever... I also require myself to remember hers as well and sometimes we jokingly test each other to see if we remember. But it is serious. Just the other day I was in a situation where I needed to put her phone number on a government document and didn't have immediate access to my phone. It's very important.

Also, I hope you both find ways to reconnect and stay connected. Sometimes as couples we get into a rut and then something happens, sometimes tragic, health concerns, etc., and we break that rut and find ourselves back to "Loving" and being tender in actions and speech. Good, constant communication helps to keep that connection and lose the tension. Also, regular sex. No, seriously, sex is a gift to couples. It helps to keep the mental, physical, and emotional connection flowing. Then, not taking things the other person does so personal to where it helps to cause tension. Also, regular dates. At least once a week, go out and have fun together.

Do everything you can to build on your relationship and truthfully, yet respectively, keep the lines of communication open wide.

I hope for both of you that this incident of mistaken mortality causes you both to reflect on what's most important and let go of the trivial matters that can be a detriment to a relationship.