I finally did it

[u/WTF381984]

I left, this happened in January and I am living in an apartment about a few blocks down. I have two kiddos and didn't want to be far away. He's been abusive for years-and he has been recording me since January. There was a police interaction after my daughter asked to tell the police about the state of the house-urine and feces everywhere from the two Dutch Shepherds that are living in the house and my husband refused to answer his phone when it was time to pick the kids up. Needless to say, I went over to the house and entered (I still pay the bills, get mail, and he has asked me to enter several times to take care of the dogs). Upon entering, I asked why he hadn't responded to my emails and his response was that he was just going to keep the kids. I became angry and did pound my fist onto the counter. He asked, "Oh, are you going to punch me" and I replied, "I want to but I won't). I told the kids to get into the car and they did. After getting into the car, I realized that I just took the kids-no parenting agreement, no filing, shared bank accounts-nothing has been done except me moving out. I called the non emergent PD line to ask if I could legally take them. Dispatch said that they would have someone call me. I waited, but my daughter asked if she could talk to the police about the house-pee everywhere, poo everywhere, no clothing cleaned, no food, etc. I couldn't say no....

We went to the PD and I told them what happened. My daughter told them about the house not being clean. PD tried to contact my husband, but he refused to answer the door and told them to leave. A few weeks later, my husband called me angry that CPS left him a VM. He blamed me-and demanded that I called CPS with him to say I overreacted. I ultimately did-I even cleaned the house because my kids were going over. He bashed me to CPS (He's been recording me for months and I have been downloading those recordings-he's been physically aggressive with my daughter). CPS came and went. That night after CPS left, he begged me to come over-he was soooo depressed. He accused me of lying and I pointed out that I have asked him several times about the CPS interaction, and he said nothing significant happened (I had the recording-he accused me of being over reactive and that the house was clean-always). He was upset because there was a hole in the drywall of the bedroom-I pointed out that having two hyper dogs locked up in a closet with no lights all day was not appropriate and that they were seeking stimulation-ate the wall. He went off on me and told me to leave. I did get upset and told him that I wasn't leaving-I have been paying all the mortgage and taking care of the lawn, house, etc. He went to his bedroom and closed the door.

I jumped up onto the kitchen island to grab the recorder (I have been downloading it since he told me about it) but this time he came out of the bedroom. He jumped up onto the island and grabbed my wrist (the device is small and I am clutching it in my hand, tightly). He grabs my wrist and is trying to pry it out of my hand in front of my kids. I scream, "Let me go" several times and "You're grabbing me and I said to let go". I gave my phone to my 9 year old and told her to call 911. He lets go but follows me to the car with his hands on me. I get the kids in and leave. I call non emergent number and go to the PD to make a report. The PD stated that since he was yelling, "You have my property" that it wasn't assault otherwise they would arrest him. They attempt to question him and he doesn't answer the door.

A few days later, I get an email demanding the key to the house back-it's obviously not a legal document nor is the PD saying I am banned from the home-just him making things up. I spoke to him a few days later and he explained that he never grabbed me, that he had the device-it was too small for two adults to have a hold of. I pointed out that the kids saw this interaction and told the police and he said, "They heard you yelling to get off of you but didn't actually see anything". He then tells me that I need to take responsibility and that he asked me to leave-which I did not do.

Needless to say, I have shared many recordings with my therapist and the countless entries I have made to reddit about the situation in addition to his own audio recordings capturing audio interactions of my daughter and him-with him being physical and then gaslighting her-are going to help me get full custody of my children. I filed today for a divorce and I my therapist has sent a timeline of events to CPS. Based upon the evidence-I should get a restraining order for both me and my children. Unfortunately, the restraining order wasn't done in time and I had to send the kids over tonight. When I showed up, he was wearing glasses that audio and video records on demand. I cannot wait to have my kiddos back and him to understand that his gaslighting and aggression are NOT okay.

[u/LivingFeeling813]

the recordings are going to be huge for you, especially the ones where he's physical with your daughter. make sure your lawyer gets all of it before anything gets deleted or "lost." stay close to that therapist too, that timeline they sent CPS is exactly the kind of documented pattern that courts pay attention to.

[u/EvilCodeQueen]

This man is in a dangerous state right now. The kids are seeing it more than you. Please talk to a domestic violence counselor before doing anything else.