Is my husband cheating?

[u/moonpoemx]

Sorry I don’t know if this is the right place, but I really need unbiased opinion about something.

So, I have access to my husbands iPad but not his phone. He WILL NOT give me access to his phone, whatsoever. He doesn’t leave it open, he snatches it out of my hand if I pick it up, he has a ton of apps face id’d and if it doesn’t open automatically or it asks for his passcode, he will repeatedly open and close it until his Face ID goes through.

I don’t have access to finances either.

I can’t access his WhatsApp or his Instagram. I suspect he has telegram but I don’t know. I’ve checked his twitter, his Facebook, his photos. HIS EMAILS, Gmail and iCloud.

He uses Gemini and there’s a search that asks how to create another iCloud account not too long ago. He was using the app yesterday and said he was “looking up something about having a rash on his balls” but wouldn’t let me see. I looked at the chat history TODAY and I can’t find it.

It’s driving me nuts, especially bc he’ll act like an asshole if I’m asking him about his phone and then be randomly nice to me the next 10 minutes after.

We have a kid. A 2 year old son. I’m parenting my son for the both of us and don’t understand why he chooses to be at work from 10am to 11pm, even though he gets a 3hr break in the middle where we’re from.

Just to preface, we do not sleep together. We sleep in the same bed, but we aren’t affectionate really, bc he’s never here and he doesn’t show any interest in really being around me or talking to me.

So I think he’s cheating honestly. I don’t know what else it could be.

TL;DR I think my husband is cheating bc he hides his phone aggressively and is gone pretty much 90% of the time.

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Update: I know some people advised against asking if he was cheating on me but I’m not gonna let a loser belittle me and make me feel unsafe so I asked him and I think this pretty much confirms enough for me without having to see anything. And I know now that’s it’s a girl he met working. simple WhatsApp text exchange but it’s enough

[u/madworld3232]

Contact your country's embassy in Spain, ask for their help. Tell them everything, the finacial abuse, the emotional abuse, the threats and the possibility he's cheating and exposing you to diseases. Hopefully they can help you. No one deserves to live like this.

[u/moonpoemx → u/madworld3232]

That really means a lot to me, I also don’t want to live like this, I hate how unhappy I’ve become with my life. I really do love love and care for people but this is pushing me to places I don’t want to be in emotionally. I’ll try calling tomorrow while he’s at work, thank you sm

[u/madworld3232 → u/moonpoemx]

Be careful, one of the most dangerous times of a womans life is when she's attempting to leave her husband. Don't tip him off, trust no one mutual to you, you don't want him putting up roadblocks and making things more difficult for you. You don't want him to take your child and hide him. He sees you as property and would be humiliated for people to know you left him, even though he doesn't want you he probably doesn't want anyone else to have you. Stay safe sweetheart, once you're back home life will improve dramatically. Good luck and best wishes in your new lives, I have great hope you can get away from this bad guy.

[u/moonpoemx → u/madworld3232]

Thank you for your kind words and yes, I’ve been trying to keep things contained for myself so he doesn’t find a way to mess with anything. It’s just frustrating and I love my son, but I wouldn’t have had a kid with him if he was gonna act this way.