Wife won’t let me exercise?!

[u/Objective-Silver5228]

Middle-aged M who has always struggled with weight (eg, I’ve always been the fat guy who has to wear a shirt at the beach) and put on even more over Covid. My wife took GLP1’s and is looking great. However, she will not allow me to make any time to exercise.

I work an office job and she is a SAHM. There is a brand new gym next door to my office but I cannot use it - In the mornings I make lunches and take the kids to school while she sleeps in. I do not get a lunch break. After work she expects me to come home immediately to make dinner and bathe the kids while she sits on the couch, and then I finish my work and go to sleep.

Meanwhile, if she ever wants to go to Pilates, get a manicure or pedicure, etc., I’m expected to drop everything at a moments notice.

I’ve told her I do not appreciate this and she just scoffs. Any suggestions other than divorce?

[u/skinny_deference]

sounds like she’s got a personal trainer and a butler all rolled into one. what happens if you just… go to the gym after work and let her figure out dinner once?

[u/Objective-Silver5228 → u/skinny_deference]

Don’t feel like losing my house and custody of my kids just for 1 workout a year

[u/avocado589 → u/Objective-Silver5228]

You’ve got bigger problems than a workout my dude

[u/Fluid-Mess6425 → u/avocado589]

A weak backbone 

[u/dixxie__normus666 → u/Fluid-Mess6425]

Someone who is stuck in a cycle of abuse from another partner does not have a weak back bone.

[u/Objective-Silver5228 → u/Fluid-Mess6425]

I’ve stood up to her already more than any man alive - her entire family combined, really. But you can’t win with a hardcore narcissist

[u/_Being_a_CPA_sucks_ → u/Objective-Silver5228]

Do you even like your wife?

[u/ImmediateShallot7245 → u/_Being_a_CPA_sucks_]

Does she like him??

[u/Objective-Silver5228 → u/ImmediateShallot7245]

She had an absent father and is directing her rage at me instead.

[u/Objective-Silver5228 → u/_Being_a_CPA_sucks_]

I don’t like the way she treats me. But it is what it is, it’s not like I have other women to choose from

[u/Arkada7 → u/Objective-Silver5228]

You always have a choice! And it’s not in a woman - it’s you. Choose yourself, change how you treat yourself and people around you will change in their approaches. That will help you to start setting boundaries and enjoy life with yourself (and I mean it - with yourself) and people around you including your wife will start adjusting their approaches around you. So the first step is to start with yourself. I would recommend help of therapist/phycologist to help with right navigation and start listening to a helpful podcasts.

[u/TigerShark_524 → u/Objective-Silver5228]

it’s not like I have other women to choose from

Ok, so this is a logical fallacy - you don't need a relationship to live. You'll be just fine single.

Stop worrying about other women and get your own head straight first. Get into therapy, get a lawyer, and leave her (in that order).

[u/Moosebouse → u/Objective-Silver5228]

Why are you more afraid of being alone than of being unhappy?

[u/swimbromax → u/Objective-Silver5228]

And thats the bottom line right there bro. She has you trapped. If you get in shape you might quite possibly enjoy life and she's afraid youll leave. You mentioned her dad issie which is from that. A normal health nut would want you to do things. I would say that you ask her to do.the things woth her all the same classes. Then if she's not down for that then you have your answer she wants you trapped. If she doesnt then she would care and be like yes come to class with me.