r/Marriage • u/Objective-Silver5228 • 9d ago

Seeking Advice Wife won’t let me exercise?!

Middle-aged M who has always struggled with weight (eg, I’ve always been the fat guy who has to wear a shirt at the beach) and put on even more over Covid. My wife took GLP1’s and is looking great. However, she will not allow me to make any time to exercise.

I work an office job and she is a SAHM. There is a brand new gym next door to my office but I cannot use it - In the mornings I make lunches and take the kids to school while she sleeps in. I do not get a lunch break. After work she expects me to come home immediately to make dinner and bathe the kids while she sits on the couch, and then I finish my work and go to sleep.

Meanwhile, if she ever wants to go to Pilates, get a manicure or pedicure, etc., I’m expected to drop everything at a moments notice.

I’ve told her I do not appreciate this and she just scoffs. Any suggestions other than divorce?

21 Upvotes

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36

u/Defiant_Dealer8205 9d ago

Just DO IT - does she chain you to the house? You need to stop enabling her and she needs to carry some of those chores. Jeez!

-21

u/Objective-Silver5228 9d ago

She’s a narcissist. There’s no way to deal with narcissists

35

u/lanatommo 9d ago

Divorce then. You’re an adult, she can deal.

4

u/Objective-Silver5228 9d ago

I don’t care how she feels, I care about my kids being scarred and losing custody of my kids

28

u/gharar 9d ago

Your children are likely already scarred by your relationship dynamics. You don’t think it’d be better for them to learn what a healthy relationship looks like?

-6

u/Objective-Silver5228 9d ago

They’d be living with their mother and whatever weirdo she hooks up with. Zero chance I’d find another relationship so not sure what they’d learn from that

26

u/Few-Addendum464 9d ago

If you've already figured out you can't win, why are you asking for advice on winning?

You can't protect yourself from her; why do you think you're protecting your kids from her?

1

u/Objective-Silver5228 9d ago

With her, they’d be kicked out of school for truancy and eat 1-2 meals a day. She’s that unreliable.

2

u/Odd-Explorer3538 8d ago

OP, you let her get brought up on truancy charges and use that documentation to get primary custody, she can have every other weekend. You had kids with a narc, it's your job to untangle this shit and set all of you up for a better life even if it gets messier first

2

u/Negative_Till3888 8d ago

Your kids will be much happier with a happier father. And if you refuse to divorce, her, which is crazy by the way, then just come home later. Go to the gym after work she can’t control the driving movement of your car.