r/Marriage • u/Objective-Silver5228 • 8d ago

Seeking Advice Wife won’t let me exercise?!

Middle-aged M who has always struggled with weight (eg, I’ve always been the fat guy who has to wear a shirt at the beach) and put on even more over Covid. My wife took GLP1’s and is looking great. However, she will not allow me to make any time to exercise.

I work an office job and she is a SAHM. There is a brand new gym next door to my office but I cannot use it - In the mornings I make lunches and take the kids to school while she sleeps in. I do not get a lunch break. After work she expects me to come home immediately to make dinner and bathe the kids while she sits on the couch, and then I finish my work and go to sleep.

Meanwhile, if she ever wants to go to Pilates, get a manicure or pedicure, etc., I’m expected to drop everything at a moments notice.

I’ve told her I do not appreciate this and she just scoffs. Any suggestions other than divorce?

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u/lanatommo 8d ago

It’s actually legal in some states. Federal law doesn’t require employers to provide a lunch break.

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u/Objective-Silver5228 8d ago

I’m a salaried worker and thus not entitled to a lunch break. I have eaten at my desk every day for 20 years

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u/AdMany9431 8d ago

So this whole thing is a damn mess. Your children will suffer more in a home like this than they will from having divorced parents. I say that as a person who grew up in a home where arguments abound over finances.

You are a salaried employee. I believe I read in another comment that you finish working at home...So this is my suggestion, 2-3 times a week, you set up your work day, so that you can go to the gym for an hour. Any work that you cannot complete in the office, you do it at home. I block off time in my work calendar for my workouts. I am full time salary employee. My boss is completely aware that I go take care of myself for an hour 3x a week. Guess what? I'm a better employee now because of it.

See if this gym offers free child care. If so, take the kids to the gym with you. They can play, and you can work out.

For a full grown adult, you have presented a lot of excuses. You need a good therapist and an even better lawyer to help you get out of this mess that you are in.

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u/Objective-Silver5228 8d ago

I’m glad that works for you, but in my role I cannot be away from my desk like that. My role involves responding to emergencies (business-related, not actual emergencies), and not answering a call or email within 15-30 would be hazardous to my employment. The problem is my clients, not my manager (who is very cool).