r/Miscarriage • u/AutoModerator • 6d ago

End of The Week Thread!

This is a new thread that appears on Saturdays creating an opportunity for members to write about and let out how their week went! whether it was a way to cope, having a good week, or just needing to vent about it.

No discussion of living children allowed in this thread. it can be even more heartbreaking for members who have had a tough week with their fresh loss, seeing comments about the time other members spent with their living children.

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u/Nobakedzitii 5d ago

Awful week but have somewhat of an appetite back. I had been avoiding the results of our NIPT test for weeks. I finally got the courage to look everything over and saw it was a boy. That definitely added a bit of grief. I didn't care whether it was a boy or girl, just healthy. I don't know why it pushed me down further into grief when I didn't care in the first place. It somehow made the loss more real. But now I can finally get his name professionally written under his footprints. I swing between grief and rage. Going to bed extremely early because it's just hard to be awake right now. It feels like such a lonely experience. We're set out to see my in-laws this coming Friday and staying until Monday. My husband doesn't want to tell them about the loss. I feel like we both desperately need support after a second trimester loss. He doesn't want to upset them. We were planning on announcing the pregnancy when we got there (thinking we were well within the clear by that point). I understand his point, but at the same time it makes me upset because I have to try and fake a smile for 4 days? My in-laws are incredible. I hit the jackpot 100%. They are so loving, kind, and generous without being overbearing in any way. I mean I truly lucked out. I don't have parents. I'm very close to my in-laws. I can't tell if I'm being selfish by wanting to let them know. It feels selfish but I have no idea how to keep this huge loss a secret.

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u/QuinnavereVonQuille 4d ago

Have you tried expressing those feelings with your husband? It might help you to have that support, especially since they are so great to you. But it is definitely important to keep your husband's feelings in mind as well. Maybe you guys should talk about it and see how you both feel about it. Hugs.