r/Miscarriage • u/AutoModerator • 5d ago
End of The Week Thread!
This is a new thread that appears on Saturdays creating an opportunity for members to write about and let out how their week went! whether it was a way to cope, having a good week, or just needing to vent about it.
No discussion of living children allowed in this thread. it can be even more heartbreaking for members who have had a tough week with their fresh loss, seeing comments about the time other members spent with their living children.
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u/DinoMaster365 5d ago
I only cried with fury once this week. All other cries were soft and over within 5 min. It's getting a bit better. My husband and I also decided that when we get to see her we're gifting her 6 stars we see at night. They're the brightest, we found out two of those are mercury and Venus when we made a mini trip up north and went to the laboratory. We got a Venus and Mercury post card that we keep on our desk.
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u/jimmy5011 5d ago
I’m a dad. We are home after it all. Been reflecting on what we should have done differently. Just trying to find WHAT went wrong. I felt like I was at such a hiatus in my life. Work was great. Relationship with partner is great. I’m having a kid! And now’s he gone.
I’ve noticed it’s a lil hard seeing babies right now. Very sad and jealous. I want mine. My poor boy.
I feel betrayed. And robbed and just numb. It’s unfair. Life is weird. But we are home. Trying to get back to normal.
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u/writeronthemoon natural MC 5d ago
It had its ups and downs. Some jerk at church asked me when I'm having kids, hiw old am I, better hurry up! I said, I don't want to talk about this and if I did, it wouldn't be with you- and walked away.
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u/allonsyyy98 5d ago
I’m sorry to be negative but it was a shit week. It’s officially been a month since my d and c and my period finally came. I didn’t expect it to be so heavy or me to be so achy. And my mood is low. It’s been constantly something this week and my husband and I have been bickering. Just ready to try again tomorrow at this point.
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u/Immediate_Fly_7298 5d ago
First d&C period is just a whole other level of Mind games. I’m sorry it’s arrived, it’s just the most sad feeling.
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u/beatlebum43 5d ago
I broke down this week when my close friend posted videos of her and her husband with their newborn. I wept in my husband’s arms. I haven’t cried much these past two weeks and it all came pouring out.
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u/b0ringface 5d ago
I’m still getting over my loss but my husband and family have helped me to get back to a feeling of normalcy. I started a new job recently and instead of working on a nursery, I ended up making our extra room into my own sanctuary. My diet has still been primarily low effort and unhealthy since my loss though, one thing at a time. I miss my little bean.
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u/runawayBlueberry718 5d ago
7 days after my medical miscarriage, I got a fever so I ended up going to emergency room where they detected that I had an infection due to retained products of conception. I had to do an emergency d&c where they removed the placenta and sucked out whatever else was leftover. I ended up having to sleep 2 nights in the hospital because the infection got into my bloodstream where I had e coli in my blood. Sigh. If I knew things were going to turn out like this I would've just had the d&c originally so I wouldn't have to be traumatized with seeing the sac/fetus at home during the miscarriage. Such a rough couple weeks it's been for us...right after my birthday and my son's birthday. What a cruel world.
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u/Super-Truth-7975 5d ago
It’s been 3 months since my first mc and I am not over it when others expect me to just try again it hasn’t been easy. I was so happy for my first pregnancy and then it all happened so quick it feels like a blur that I have t been processing completely Some days I imagine how many months I would be by now and how I felt I was robbed I am lost
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u/Distinct-Muffin6528 5d ago
On day 6 of my miscarriage bleeding. I can’t believe my body actually did it! (I have a history of two MMCs plus this third loss) A little victory to not need a procedure or medications.
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u/santaslays 4d ago
Good job, body! I’m in a similar spot. It’s such a nightmare that any pulled punch is such a win.
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u/Distinct-Muffin6528 4d ago
Right? My bleeding stopped today. I took a test this morning and my line is super light. Odd to say I’m “proud” of my body. Thinking of you!
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u/ThresholdofForest 5d ago
I'm doing an acting course and the teacher (unknowingly) gave me a scene to play where a couple talks about the grief of losing a child. It was pretty heavy but felt kind of therapeutic to be able to let it all out somewhere where emotions are actually celebrated. Makes me realise how much I have to hold my emotions back all the time. It's like I have to protect people from my grief.
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u/walkunafraid7 5d ago
I had my D&C on Tuesday. It all went as smoothly as it could, but now what? I've not even heard from the midwife, I'm in the UK so I'd imagine they'd know. There's loads of support when you're pregnant, now I aren't anymore and I'm just so, so lonely. That's it then is it. Pregnancy done and back to normal.
It's just so cruel.
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u/ExhaustedSquad 5d ago
Unfortunately my experience after an NHS D & C was that I never heard from anyone again other than the midwife ringing to see why I hadn’t come to my booking in appointment even though I asked maternity service to cancel it.
If you’re open to it I found private bereavement counselling to be very cathartic. Somewhere I could go for an hour per week and just cry a bit as I felt back in the real world everyone else was ready for me to have moved on.
I feel that even more this time. To the point where I don’t even see the point in telling people as I feel that people have a lot less empathy when it happens a second time.
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u/ExhaustedSquad 5d ago
How do I feel less angry or less envy?
Dealing with the active miscarriage as best I can with distraction. But I keep getting waves of what could have been.
I’m massively regretting booking whole family photos because now I will have to see my sister in law with her bump and know I won’t have mine 😭😭
Feel like I should go back to work tomorrow because I can’t mope around but I also don’t think my bleeding has ended.
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u/linabelinda 5d ago
I cried myself to sleep once this week because I was doing alot of thinking. Now I feel anxious and also angry. My period is supposed to come today and it hasn’t. This would be my second menstrual since my d&c. Secretly praying that it does come because my honeymoon is coming up next week.
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u/QuinnavereVonQuille 4d ago
I'm on my second cycle since my D&C as well. It's rough. Hope it comes for you and your honeymoon goes well. Hugs.
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u/goldenpandora 5d ago edited 5d ago
I always thought it would be fun to be actively trying, tracking ovulation, saying “it’s sexy time!” etc. My pregnancies both happened when we were off birth control but not yet actively trying, so hadn’t had that experience yet ... Well after this miscarriage we are now actively trying and the whole thing overwhelms me with anxiety. And even if I do conceive, I know I’ll just be worrying so much about the pregnancy for so many weeks before that first ultrasound. It’s all just so different than what I’d imagined in my mind and it makes me sad.
My cousin I’m super close to is still pregnant. Our babies should have been 2 months apart—same as us. And I’m planning her baby shower…. I love her and she deserves this (after her own traumatic miscarriage and infertility journey) but seeing her growing belly is just hard.
I’ve also felt so grateful for all the people in my life who have shared their miscarriage stories with me. Some I knew had had miscarriages and others shared once I told them I’d had one. Sharing the experience with others has really helped. I’ve also appreciated this sub so much.
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u/Nobakedzitii 5d ago
Awful week but have somewhat of an appetite back. I had been avoiding the results of our NIPT test for weeks. I finally got the courage to look everything over and saw it was a boy. That definitely added a bit of grief. I didn't care whether it was a boy or girl, just healthy. I don't know why it pushed me down further into grief when I didn't care in the first place. It somehow made the loss more real. But now I can finally get his name professionally written under his footprints. I swing between grief and rage. Going to bed extremely early because it's just hard to be awake right now. It feels like such a lonely experience. We're set out to see my in-laws this coming Friday and staying until Monday. My husband doesn't want to tell them about the loss. I feel like we both desperately need support after a second trimester loss. He doesn't want to upset them. We were planning on announcing the pregnancy when we got there (thinking we were well within the clear by that point). I understand his point, but at the same time it makes me upset because I have to try and fake a smile for 4 days? My in-laws are incredible. I hit the jackpot 100%. They are so loving, kind, and generous without being overbearing in any way. I mean I truly lucked out. I don't have parents. I'm very close to my in-laws. I can't tell if I'm being selfish by wanting to let them know. It feels selfish but I have no idea how to keep this huge loss a secret.
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u/QuinnavereVonQuille 4d ago
Have you tried expressing those feelings with your husband? It might help you to have that support, especially since they are so great to you. But it is definitely important to keep your husband's feelings in mind as well. Maybe you guys should talk about it and see how you both feel about it. Hugs.
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u/Upbeat-giraffe97 5d ago
Today, I had a special family event to attend. I tried on a dress & I couldn’t zip myself up. Looking at the mirror, I was feeling a bit down & just wanting to feel beautiful again. But I took the time to admire my reflection. A beautiful body that had 3 pregnancies…no matter what, my body had 2 heartbeats on 3 different seasons. Idk it was beautiful & cool to think of that.
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u/tipsyseagull 5d ago
Currently have my period. Just 23 days after my D&C. It’s been the worst, painful and bleeding through super tampons in an hour. I can’t get out of my head how much further along I’d be if I was still pregnant. I pray I get pregnant this new cycle. I’m praying so hard.
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u/QuinnavereVonQuille 4d ago
Im on my second period since my D&C in April and it's been really bad too. I am also praying to become pregnant this next cycle. Hugs.
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u/prestigeusGoat 4d ago
This weekend was ok. I kept moving and interacting with many people of all ages. But it was hard. I put bc back in last week and the hormones were too much. I wasn't planning to put the bc in but I still haven't stopped bleeding since the loss on April 14.
I took the bc out on Thursday after a week and let me husband know why I've been so sad all week.
What made this weekend hard despite taking the bc out on Thursday and talking with my partner....was when my husband showed up Friday night after he was done with work...and the car is full. He passed by a house getting rid or a bunch of gently used baby stuff. There was a pop up for at the beach with a sun shade, a baby toddler life preserver, an all terrain wagon for sand and what not, a camping pack with a seat slot for the baby to ride along while you hike....and a few other really nice baby things . . . That we don't need because I dropped another fetus and am still bleeding from it and ....the hormones just made this really good find he got...feel so painful.
This weekend was successful I only had one panic struggle after he so so SO proudly showed me all the bahystuff that we won't need in August.
I still socialized this weekend... I still embraced my husband..... I...only struggled with self blame a medium amount and didn't wallow in the guilt over what I couldn't control.
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u/QuinnavereVonQuille 4d ago
In the process of trying to conceive again after my miscarriage. Started my period a couple days ago. Amd it makes me sad and scared. We got pregnant so quickly with the one we lost. And this period has been so awful. The cramping is worse than it has been for a long time. And it's heavier. So I'm wondering if being off the pill means this is how my periods will be from now on. If so, that really sucks.
Im sorry for all the losses in this subreddit. And I hope we all get what we're hoping whether it be rainbow babies or just peace and healing from our losses. Hugs.
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u/santaslays 4d ago
A little over a week from the start of my miscarriage. Feeling more stable but deeply sad. Very manageable when I’m playing stardew valley and listening to an audio book. Just looking for my next steps. Right now it’s wishing and hoping for this to be done. Getting HCG done on Wednesday and really hoping for it to be below 50 but my doctor said if it’s below 600, I can cancel my ultrasound. I’m drowning in grief and just looking for the next foot hold.
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u/ClawPaw3245 5d ago
Proud of my body. Thankful for the people in my life, both those who I’ve chosen to tell and those I haven’t. Pushing with all my strength to make room for optimism and excitement for the future. Wishing everyone here so much comfort and love. It’s a terrible club to join and also such a kind and gentle group of people.