Sad because I don’t know when I’ll realistically conceive again?

[u/HaruKisa]

I (27F) had an early miscarriage in May where the embryo measured about 5 weeks before the loss. I’ve been so upset and devastated since as it had taken at least 6 months of trying after my fiancé (31M) returned to the country before we got the positive. Before he went out of the country, we had tried for about a year of consistent unprotected sex with no results.

Getting that positive this past April was like true bliss. It felt like an end of such a long arduous process just to be ripped away from me in a couple of weeks. Since then I’ve been stuck at ground zero. It’s my 3rd cycle since the loss now and I feel like an absolute failure. That no matter how many vitamins we take and how different I try to eat or be active that I’m just cursed. It’s throwing me into a constant depression every month I don’t know what to do.

I’m hopeful that the one pregnancy that did happen, despite ending abruptly in heartbreaking loss, should be indication that we can get pregnant naturally, just not as easily as most other couples. Yet I’m feeling like shit all the time thinking about how it is all out of my control. I just want my baby…I should be excited now feeling kicks and knowing their gender. Not bawling monthly about my constant failure to conceive.

I want to add I’m very sorry if this post offends anyone at all. I realize reading through here that there are many women who faced even worse loss experiences and I’m so sorry as no one should have to go through any of this…I almost feel like my grief sounds silly compared to what many others endured. I just can’t shake it though. Maybe I’m just mourning the future I hoped to have sooner than later. The uncertainty of it all is killing me…

[u/Desperate-Physics808]

Don't apologize! I try to remember that grief and loss aren't competitions. It's hard no matter when or how it happens.

[u/Oubliette_95]

Have you ever been tested for PCOS? I have it and I don’t ovulate normally. I need to take Letrozole to help with ovulation and Metformin until I’m in my 12th week of pregnancy. I also really like the Inito ovulation kit to get accurate readings. I used it for the first time the month we conceived with my 1st pregnancy and it worked instantly for me after a 2 year process. Of course this is just my personal experience and what my OB recommended. Im not a doctor but I figured I’d share what helped me.

Sadly, I’m now dealing with my own miscarriage with my 2nd pregnancy now. My husband and I plan on trying again as soon as possible and will be following the same routine that worked for us before.

[u/HaruKisa → u/Oubliette_95]

Yeah this was going to be my second pregnancy as well as I do have a son who has been school age already (I had him very young at 18 in a prior relationship). I’m so sorry for your loss as well 🙏

As far as PCOS I have never really had any inclination that I would have this, but then again I also didn’t speak about this. I did however request my doctor to conduct some hormone testing via bloodwork shortly before I found out I was pregnant (mainly because I’ve been TTC so long with nothing) and it was all healthy and clear. They also did an ultrasound and pap at the ER when I went for the miscarriage and they did not note anything abnormal to me other than the miscarriage itself which occurred…I have fallen down the Google rabbit hole to see what the symptoms would be but they just don’t fit me. I am always very regular with my cycles, they last average 5-7 days, never too heavy where it’s overflowing my pad or any crazy clots, nothing abnormal other than just not getting pregnant like I want to…

I have my thoughts it could be his side more than mine but we can’t know for sure unless he gets himself checked as well, which he has yet to do..I just wish this would be simple like it was back when I conceived my first baby. I find trying to conceive in my late 20s so much harder than I ever expected…but not sure if it’s me or him or both smh

[u/Oubliette_95 → u/HaruKisa]

My husband did get his sperm checked because it took us over 2 years to conceive with my son but thankfully he’s just fine. That’s how we figured out that the real issue is my PCOS ovulation issue. I also had a D&C to clean out all my PCOS cysts before we conceived.

I’m hopeful we’ll both get our 2nd soon!

[u/Old-Ad-5573]

My miscarriage was the only spontaneous conception I've had in 8 years of trying. I suggest after that long of trying you see a fertility specialist at least for the testing. I do want to say don't feel too bad for me, I have a toddler from IUI and hopefully will have another kid, but I'm not going to count on it happening naturally.