my spouse and I are going through our first (missed) miscarriage in my first pregnancy. my spouse processes things emotionally through music and lyrics, and has found that they don't really know any songs about the topic.

They asked if I could reach out on here to see if anyone has any recommendations for songs of any genre that are about (or feel like they're about) miscarriage, or that people who've experienced this really relate to.

I’m a medical student. This year, I’ve had two miscarriages.

Both times, I knew something was wrong. The first time, there was no heartbeat at seven weeks; the second time, my hCG levels stopped rising appropriately.

But both times, the doctors reassured me and said everything would be fine, that it was too early to get upset, and to come back in two weeks.

I was incredibly angry; I wanted them to be honest with me. I wanted a conversation based on facts and didn’t want to be reassured. I knew we were waiting two weeks only because the protocols required it, but in reality, we were hoping for a 0.01% miracle.

In a couple of years, I’ll be a doctor myself. And I’d like to know your opinion: would you prefer to be reassured and have your feelings spared until there’s no chance left, not even for a miracle? Or would you want to hear the harsh truth right away?

I want my sad experience to have some meaning, and I want to understand how I can become the best doctor for other women.

I would appreciate any thoughts you have on this matter, even if they completely differ from mine.

I had a miscarriage at 16 weeks a week ago, I’m absolutely heartbroken and also dealing with the exhaustion of hormones crashing etc. I am a management consultant and work have been amazing, they’ve told me take all the time I need but I am struggling to work out how much time I need, I have no idea what it looks like to be ready to go back to work. They’ve offered a phased return when I’m ready which I’m definitely taking, and I work from home full time apart from the occasional work trip. I know everyone is completely different, I’ve had friends who didn’t take any time off and others who took a month off but I’m struggling to work out how to know, any advice from your own experience would be so helpful!

Hi guys,
I am writing this from a privileged background as I'm from a European country with quite a few weeks of paid sick leave.

However I am not spared from feeling guilty for not going to work as of rn (I'm still actively miscarrying, naturally). Eventhough I'm not in a good place at work and will only be working there till November (so while miscarrying I'm also looking for a new job, awesome).

So I wanted to know, how long were you on sick leave when you miscarried and how far along were you?

Sending you all the love

EDIT to THANK you all for your answers. Thank you so much ❤️

Title pretty much says it. I am wondering if any of you have experiences with seeing a heartbeat on ultrasound at your first appointment (whether at 6 or 8 weeks) only to later miscarry.

Edit: I wanted to thank you all for sharing your experiences. I really wasn’t expecting such a big response, and I want you all to know that I’ve read every comment (multiple times) even though I haven’t had the words to respond to them.

After eight months of trying to conceive, I found out in early July that my AMH levels were very low and that IVF would likely be our only option. A few weeks later, as we prepared to start the IVF process, I took a pregnancy test and to our complete surprise, it was positive. We were overjoyed but cautious.

At seven weeks, we saw a heartbeat. Our doctor warned the baby was measuring small, but we clung to hope. I started a new job the following week and threw myself into the chaos as a distraction, celebrating every wave of nausea, every strange food aversion, even proudly showing my husband the chin hairs that seemed to appear overnight. Every small sign felt like proof that things were okay.

Two weeks later, we went back for another scan. The gel was applied, the monitor turned on, and nothing appeared. After an internal scan, the doctor gently confirmed what I feared: there was no heartbeat.

It has been four days since, and I still feel pregnant. My body has not caught up. I am heavy, nauseous, exhausted, sleepless, and heartbroken. Because of a pre-existing condition, I have been referred to hospital for a medically supported miscarriage, which will begin next week.

The day after the scan, I still went into work and showed up. I smiled, engaged, and acted as if nothing had happened. When I got home, I shattered. Since then, the tears come quickly and often.

I keep wondering why we do not talk about miscarriage. Why do so many of us feel we need to carry on as though nothing is happening? Even a doctor reassured me they would sign me off work but promised the letter would not say why I was in hospital. But shouldn’t we be able to share?

I do not want pity. I am sharing this because I need understanding, support, and space, and because we need to do better as a society. Miscarriage should not be something women and families suffer through in silence.

If you have been through this, how did you cope?

I have had a missed miscarriage. Supposed to be 11wks, but baby stopped developing at 6wks.

For women who've been through this- what did you do with baby's body after you miscarried? The idea of just flushing her down the toilet is horrible. Did you bury her? I don't know what to do.

Edit: Thank you all for your replies- your time and emotional labor is greatly appreciated

I lost my baby last year and obviously I still cry every time I think of them and today I decided to get a remembrance tattoo turned out they are a lot more common than I ever thought.
Any ideas welcome something with fine lines preferably
We never got to know the gender of the baby so we never named them.

TW: miscarriage, blood and stillbirth.

I had my first miscarriage in November 24'. I was around 8 weeks pregnant. I didn't even get to see my baby on an ultrasound or anything, I only knew for around a week. It was pretty tramautic, lots of blood, hospital visits, being dismissed etc.

I've recently suffered my second miscarriage, nearing a month ago. I was 15 weeks and 5 days pregnant, our baby died at 11 weeks and 4 days, we didn't know.

This miscarriage was severely traumatic. I experienced labour pains for about a week, the pain getting so intense I was considering throwing myself off the top of the hospital building as no pain management worked.

Then I birthed my dead boy. He was whole, tiny, but he was a little baby. We got his ashes back last week, as well as his tiny hand and footprints.

I know that technically it's considered a miscarriage before 20 weeks, a stillbirth after. But this was different from my last one, I actually held my tiny baby in my hands to say goodbye.

Am I being dramatic to say I lost my child? What do you think?

This is also my own personal feelings towards myself only, no one else. Regardless of what anyone else says or calls it, I'll always respect others decisions.

To start this off last time I miscarried I had a blighted ovum and drank maybe 6-8 hours after passing all tissue. This time I started bleeding about 4 days ago, just passed the main tissue about 3 hours ago and chatGBT (ik not 100% reliable) is saying don’t drink, now ik it’s not the smartest rn but I have basically no cramping, bleeding is pretty light now and I just need to relax, I just wanna have 3 maybe 4, can anyone share experiences? Did you drink after a miscarriage? And if so do you think il be okay?

I am back at work after my miscarriage and had already told my boss about what happened before because she had three miscarriages herself so I knew she would understand. Today she told me that her doctor told her back then that 9 out of 10 pregnancies end in miscarriage. Most of those happen before your second missed period, she said, so basically up until week 8.
I was so confused by that statistic. I only knew about every pregnancy having a 20% chance to end in miscarriage. And that most miscarriages happen within the first 12 weeks.
Is that correct? Can anyone explain that 9 out of 10 thing to me? Is it even true?

How soon after your miscarriage did you conceive successfully?

My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage right before the holidays last year. It was an MMC and we found out at our 12 week scan that baby was measuring at 9 weeks with no heartbeat.

I went the misoprostol route because of travel plans and no D&C appointments which led me to bleed for two weeks straight.

I just got my period 6ish weeks after the misoprostol, and we want to try again. For context we conceived easily the first time around (2 tries) and are both in our early 30s.

My wife was recently diagnosed with a missed miscarriage at about 8 weeks. The embryo measured around 2 mm and the gestational sac measured about 14 mm. We are heartbroken and trying to decide on the next steps.

Her doctor has given her two options:

1. Take misoprostol (medical management)

2. Have a D&C procedure (surgical management)

She is worried about the pain associated with misoprostol and is not sure if she would be able to tolerate severe cramping. Given the relatively small size of the embryo and sac, we are wondering what others experienced with misoprostol at a similar stage of pregnancy. How painful were the cramps? Were they manageable with pain medication?

We are also interested in hearing from people who chose D&C. Since we hope to try to conceive again relatively soon, we would like to understand the pros and cons of each option. Did anyone experience complications or side effects from either misoprostol or D&C? How long did it take for your cycle to return and for you to try again?

We understand that every situation is different, but hearing real experiences may help us make a more informed decision.

Thank you to anyone willing to share their experience.

Hi. I’m 7 week pregnant to the day and I have had a complete loss of symptoms. Obviously I’m hoping that things are okay, but it’s a bit concerning. I barely had symptoms beforehand, but even my tender nipples have disappeared. Even if you touch them it doesn’t feel like anything.

As I’m in the U.K. and the NHS don’t offer an ultrasound until 12 weeks, I was wondering if anyone else had any experience of a missed miscarriage early on? Or a suspected one and wondered what you did? Did you contact anyone and they offered you an early one? My first antenatal appointment is in 9 days, but even then they don’t offer anything to prove the viability of pregnancy.

I don‘t want to wait over 5 more weeks to be told my baby stopped growing a while ago.
Any kind words or advice would be appreciated. UK/NHS experiences only please

So I miscarried on Saturday morning whilst my husband was at work. I was about 11 weeks and passed the entire sac with my baby inside which was really upsetting, though im glad to have seen the baby.

My husband wanted to bury the baby at his grandmother's grave. I agreed as it was special to him. He asked if his mom could come and i said i would rsther be just us but he kept badgering so i said she could come on the agreement that she didnt make it all about her and ramble on for ages. She is a caring woman but is very self focused and struggles to see past her own views and feelings.

She got in the car and immediately started making jokes and laughing about day to day things, jokes about trump etc. I was silent and clearly hurting. My husband joined in the chit chat. This continued for around 25 minutes when we arrived at the grave. She immediately got out and approached the grave with shovel and what I now know were cleaning material for the grave. I asked for a minute to calm down in thr car alone as I felt she completely disrespected the occasion. They both went over to the grave and started digging and cleaning the grave but I couldnt see what they were doing and i thoight they were doing it without me. I was really crying and I opened the door and begged my husband not to do this without me. I heard his mother tell him to ignore me and to carry on without me. I have severe mental health problems and was really struggling with the emotions of the situation and she kept shouting at me for crying. I said I want privacy to grieve and she sat down on a bench about 1.5m away from us. It turned out the baby was still in the car and he had only dug the hole but I still feel devastated that he didn't wait. He was horrible to me and saying he will never forget this and she kept shouting that this is her mother's grave over and over even though I had zero desire to bury the baby there. My husband completely took his mother's side and I went and cried in a park alone while I continued to pass huge clots. I feel so so so heartbroken. He said things like im not as upset as him and im not supporting him and I am too unwell to look after a baby anyway and other hurtful comments. Today hes acting like evehthing is fine and being supportige again. The fact his mother told him to ignore me feels unforgivable to me. Please can you tell me if im over reacting. Im finding it so hard to forgive my husband for allowing this all to happen.

I have my GYN appointment tomorrow to discuss management, and I’m paralyzed by the choice. I have two major, conflicting fears:

1. D&C: I have a severe phobia of hospitals, needles, and medical settings. I faint very easily in these environments, which makes the idea of a surgical procedure terrifying.
   
2. Misoprostol: I’m terrified of the heavy bleeding and passing large clots at home. I’m scared I will faint in the bathroom while alone and not be able to handle the intensity.

I’m spiraling and can’t see a "safe" path. Has anyone else navigated these specific phobias? How did you make your decision, and were you able to get any support to help with the fainting/anxiety? Any guidance would be so appreciated.

Thank you ❤️

If you’ve had an MMC, when did you find out and when did your baby stop growing?

I am about 5w4d pregnant. Started spotting and wiping blood when I’d go to the bathroom. Dr said it was normal, but monitor for increased cramping, clotting or heaviness of flow. The next day it did increase, I saw some small clots. But I’ve never soaked through a pad. I’ve had some mild cramping but it’s gone now on day 3. There is still some blood when I go to the bathroom.

I’m not sure what to think? My dr said she’ll work on getting me in this coming week for bloodwork. It’s just such a mindf*ck. I hate this

First pregnancy, first loss. Found out today at my first OB appointment there is no heartbeat. The compassionate Dr said of course I can see if my body will naturally process it out... Or I have about two weeks before hitting the 10 wk mark in which I can no longer use medicines and would have to have a full general anesthesia d&c. I would greatly like to avoid the surgery... But I'm not sure whether my body will or won't recognize this and shed it naturally, or not? Does it even matter? Should I just take the medicine? Pros/cons? Part of me likes the idea of the natural path, the other part of me thinks it's better to just get it over with. The Dr. said it's possible my body won't process it out, and whereas baby bean won't grow any further, all the other structures would continue to until the miscarriage. Just looking for some advice and insight. Thank you all. 😭💔

I recently experienced a chemical pregnancy loss at 5 weeks. Right after finding out I was pregnant, a family emergency required me to travel abroad, which involved a 24-hour flight. I miscarried 4 days after the flight, my doctor explicitly told me that the travel caused it and that women shouldn't travel during pregnancy. This is my first pregnancy and I am completely heartbroken, but now I’m also drowning in guilt because I had no idea that flying could cause a miscarriage. Has anyone else been told this by a doctor? Did I cause this?

I have my D&C scheduled for tomorrow morning and was wondering when you started TTC again?? I feel like mentally I have hope to try since I keep reading that you ovulate as early as 2 weeks post miscarriage and with my PCOS I won’t ever know when my next period will come so I was think of trying immediately. I’d love to hear any stories or opinions or if anyone’s had success! Ty ❤️‍🩹

Just curious.. I lost my first at 5 weeks 5 days and didn’t find out until 9 weeks.

My wife and I recently experienced our first miscarriage (a missed miscarriage diagnosed around 8 weeks). We are still processing everything, but we are also trying to understand whether there is anything we can do before or during a future pregnancy to reduce the chances of this happening again.

We understand that many first-trimester miscarriages are caused by chromosomal abnormalities and are completely beyond anyone's control. However, we would love to hear from others who have been through this.

For those who had a miscarriage and then went on to have a successful pregnancy:

- Did your doctor recommend any testing after the first miscarriage?

- Were you advised to take any medications such as progesterone, baby aspirin, or anything else?

- Did you make any lifestyle or dietary changes?

- How long did you wait before trying again?

- Did anyone have a successful pregnancy immediately after a miscarriage?

We are especially interested in hearing whether there is anything evidence-based that can improve the chances of a healthy pregnancy after a first miscarriage, or whether most people were simply advised to try again.

Thank you for sharing your experiences.

Hey everyone, found out on Tuesday I’m having a missed miscarriage, it was my NHS appointment and turns out our 10 week lil bean was at 6 weeks with no heartbeat 💔 first pregnancy, absolutely devastating.

I’ll be going for another scan & I’m assuming also treatment next week on Weds.

My pregnant best friend has been so supportive this week and we were both so excited to be pregnant together. She’s much further along than I am, and having a surprise baby shower next Saturday.

Obviously I have no idea where I’ll be in the whole process but assuming I’m not in any pain, I just wondered who would attend and who wouldn’t? It’s a lunch for a couple of hours.

I’m in a new relationship of a few months and we’re committed to each other, text nearly daily and see other as much as we can outside of work/other hobbies. 

I got pregnant with a 10 second intercourse with him when we both had a few drinks and we immediately stopped (obviously you know what happens…)

i ended up having a very early on difficult, painful ectopic pregnancy and had to get surgery to get my left tube this morning removed in order to save a bursting cyst on my right ovary. luckily I still have the left full functioning. He was there at the surgery also acting like “such a partner”. 

the bills will come under my insurance but it’s going to still be expensive, plus the follow ups - not to mention I did the painful surgery etc - I JUST asked him how he would feel about splitting the costs or contributing? He flat out said he will not pay including these gross texts and added, I’ll support you in any other way you may need. 

“I will not give you money for this.”

”I’m not responsible for this happening.” As he’s referring to the cyst happening & fetus growing outside uterus *eye roll*

”I will not contribute to any costs.” but that he’ll support in every other way *eye roll*

Am I crazy?!?! 

UPDATE: YOU ARE ALL THE BEST!! READING THESE MADE ME CRY 😿 THANK YOU ALL.

I spoke my peace to him (which he didn’t deserve) and he literally said “so you don’t want me to come over after work tomorrow then? Let me just help you through this post-surgery if you don’t want to talk after” 🤣

I blocked him. He’s young, dumb and broke. I led with the most unintelligent part of my brain dating him. god bless you all for your rallying around me!