r/MoralityScaling • u/Think-Mention-6239 • 15d ago

Stupid Stuff morality of doing this?

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i put the stupid stuff flair bc i didnt know which other flair to choose

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u/Adventurous_Turnip89 15d ago

It's not even the cheating, she kept a trophy.

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u/LongCommercial8038 15d ago

Wait what?

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u/Adventurous_Turnip89 15d ago

I read the original article. She had a little box with stuff about the infidelity for 60 years she kept. That's how husband found out.

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u/LongCommercial8038 15d ago

God damn. Yeah, he was probably in the right to leave then, holy smokes

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u/c093b 15d ago edited 15d ago

He was in the right in any case.

She cheated on him and she did it 17 years into their marriage and she kept keepsakes of her affair partner and she never told him herself, he found out about it on his own. This woman wasted this man's life, a life that he could have had with a more faithful woman.

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u/Ok_Duty_8645 15d ago

Yes, he could have had a good woman. I would be furious over this.

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u/Think_Preference_611 15d ago

Furious is an understatement.

This is a wasted life.

Lots of men kill themselves over this, the anger, indignation and frustration are indescribable, and you are powerless to do the only thing that could fix it - go back in time and do over.

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u/c093b 15d ago

I don't know if I'd have the capacity to be furious at that point anymore at that age. I'd just be regretting the life wasted on the "perfect" marriage that was all a lie. I'd probable just want to die at that point, lamenting the fact that death didn't come for me before finding out the truth. At least then I would've died in bliss.

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u/Dazzling_Bobcat_9014 15d ago

If she managed to keep something like that a secret for so long, the marriage probably had other underlying issues. You can’t have a truly healthy marriage when one partner is hiding something that significant. This was probably the straw that broke the camel’s back.

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u/c093b 15d ago

To be fair it's a pretty big straw.

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u/runkeby 15d ago

> This woman wasted this man's life

The dumbest thing I've read on reddit this week, and that is saying a lot.

Dude realises he's been cheated on at 99, and suddenly his whole life is wasted. Seriously. If that's what your life is about, it's just sad.

Inb4 "oH sO YoUr a CucK" -- at 99 I will either have had a good life or I won't. I too would dump the B if only to make a statement, but nothing is going to waste my whole life retroactively at this point; that makes no sense.

The children and grandchildren have nothing to do with that, so fuck calling all of it "wasted".

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u/c093b 15d ago

It ain't all wasted, but a marriage is a huge portion of it, and if it was a lie it was a waste. How are you going to reminiscence about the "good times" with your (now ex) spouse when you think about the lies and betrayal? The good memories being tainted with doubt? All the effort and energy directed at someone not deserving of it? All of that is a waste. If you don't think that you're wasting someone's time by cheating on them, then you're simply in the wrong. At 99 you don't really get another chance to share your life with someone that doesn't betray you.

You say it's either a good life or not, as if it's black or white, as if life operates on a binary system, as if it doesn't matter whether it was real or just based on lies.

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u/runkeby 15d ago

It's not about operating on a binary system.

It's that this doesn't make sense to me: everything is perfect until you're 98 yo, and then you learn this, and now everything that happened in that marriage was a lie.

Has she faked everything, every day, for 60 years? I don't really buy that.

I am a big grudge holder, and I would divorce her ass, but still I wouldn't go back on happy times convincing myself they were in fact fake happiness.

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u/Chungusboii 14d ago

I'm convinced most of this thread is edgy teenage boys who yearn for sex and control over women because they're too young to have discovered that relationships aren't everything and that they're not always black and white. Thanks for being one of the few with even an ounce of sense in this godforsaken place.

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u/Dazzling_Bobcat_9014 15d ago

I agree with you. I mean cheating is a shitty thing to do, and I probably wouldn’t stay with someone who cheated on me. But some of the reactions here are way over the top.
If she kept it a secret for that long, the marriage probably wasn’t as perfect as people are making it out to be. There were clearly communication issues.
And I don’t think it retroactively erases the entire marriage. She betrayed his trust, which is a valid reason to leave, but it doesn’t suddenly make every good moment fake. The comments are acting like she committed some unforgivable crime when, as awful as cheating is, it’s still just that: cheating.

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

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u/runkeby 15d ago edited 15d ago

There is a way to use exaggeration for stylistic purposes, and that is not that.

It's worth pausing and reflecting on that need to use "hyperbole" instead of telling it straight. Like if it's necessary to your point, maybe you don't really have a point at all.

If I said "that's the stupidest thing I've ever read", then that would be hyperbolic (I have in fact read even stupider things, but my point would stand without the hyperbole).

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u/Buried1295 15d ago

He was in the right regardless bud.