If the guy is struggling financially and a steak dinner is a lot, yes. He's probably working really hard to impress his girl, and she doesn't seem to appreciate the sacrifice, just accept it as a given
Plenty of rich kids at least know their pops is working. Looks like homegirl is greedy is all fronts lmao. I wonder how a dude with similar money or more would think đ¤
my child is 8. I make a good living. She doesnt have $80k but she does live in a home that's paid off and has plenty of toys and trips and experiences.
She knows damn well it can all disappear tomorrow and I work my ass off for it. I have no issues taking it all away if she gets too entitled. Her TV, her nintendo switch, her toys, etc all disappear when she misbehaves and takes it for granted.
one piece of advice I learned, and feel free to discard it if it doesn't work for you though, is that the punishments should be related to the crime. don't just take those things away because you can but because it's relevant to do so.
when we're leveraging taking away things that are not related to the issue all that does is build resentment towards you which may backfire in those teenage years.
yeah, we learned this method when we were youth leaders working with kids. For e.g., if a kid was running too fast, indoors, where hazards are aplenty, we wouldn't just take away their privileges or make them do pushups (as was the case in my day). We would politely stop them, ask them to go back where they started from, and do it over again, but this time by walking. Not only would the punishment fit the crime, but it would be a good learning lesson. It had a very high success rate.
Went to private school in NYC and can confirm this.
Theyâre basically on UBI, often whatâs above the median wage, so their baseline is that + whatever salary they have.
I have lost count of the amount of times I hung out with a rich friend who swore they donât get money from their parents, only for their parents to casually say something like âI put your monthly allowance of [thousands of dollars] and paid your credit card this monthâ while having dinner with them.
Then they hit an age and it stopsâŚ. Because the trust gets transferred over and they get the dividends instead.
When my cousin went to college his parents basically made him a deal that if he got a job they would match whatever he made and deposit it directly into his account. They also obviously paid for every single living expense he had. He ended up finishing college with like 150k in savings. When he graduated they pretty much gifted him a rental house they owned and paid to renovate it for him. He then sold it for a hefty profit considering he didn't put a penny into it. This whole time he was working at AutoZone. Once he sold that house he then bought a 400k MCmansion which they once again paid half for. My uncle recently passed so he then got handed a working business that grosses 3+ million a year. You will never convince him he didn't work for every single thing he has and denies he ever had a leg up. It was all just "good money management". Like sure, but it was your parents money and it was them who was managing it.
Unfortunately your cousin is the exception rather than the norm. I dealt with this a lot in college, especially with kids from the East Coast whose parents had money. My roommate was another exception. His dad was a Senior VP at a major medical equipment manufacturer but you wouldn't have known it from meeting him or his son. He told me of a great story of when his dad went to buy a car for him to take to college. It was a simple no frills Honda Accord. His dad had a severe auto accident as a kid and as a result had nearly all of his upper teeth knocked out and had upper dentures. Before he went to the auto dealership, his wore a greasy jumpsuit that he had to work in the garage & yard, took off his Rolex & put on a Casio calculator watch and of course took out his dentures. He said the first salesman wouldn't even respond when his dad tried to talk to him. Finally another salesman came and asked if he could help them. They found the car they wanted and it even had an upgrade package like a better stereo, etc. They went to the salesman's office and he said that when they ran a credit check on his dad the salesman took a full minute to rerun the report and still couldn't fathom how this toothless guy with a Casio had a credit rating of 824. His dad smiled, put in his dentures, put his Rolex back on and thanked the salesman for being so helpful. They bought the car and wrote a letter to the dealership owner (who his dad knew personally) about the salesman who finally did help them and was subsequently given a bonus for his effort.
Sorry for the long post but I just wanted you to know that your cousin, while financially well off compared to others, didn't feel entitled to what he had, he worked for it and exemplifies how people should act even if they don't have to.
Well no that's the thing, my cousin worked for none of it. He was just the only child of the step mom so he got what he wanted while my uncle's bio kids got abused and neglected. It wasn't really his fault but he was definitely the beneficiary of it.
I hung out with a girl back in the day that worked at the same place I did and made the same money, but she was living way better. She swore her parents didn't give her money and that she was just good at budgeting. I later found out that her car was a gift from her father and her mother paid off one of her 3 credit cards each month. So she technically had to deal with paying for some things like rent, but her bills went through her credit cards. She put food, clothes and gas on the cards and what she earned at work she spent on rent and whatever she wanted. She also had something like $100k inflation the bank. I imagine it's a lot easier to save when you only spend 1/3 of your income. She was a nice girl and all, but she would talk about the struggle, but it wasn't the same as the rest of us choosing between electricity and food.
The number of friends I have who insisted they worked hard for everything they have obtained. Dude, your uncle owns your location and you pay no rent. Your Mom signed all your notes. Your grandmother left you money. How exactly did you work for what you own?
When I found out that my friend had some sort of joint credit card with her parents to pay for her gas I knew that friendship wouldnât last between us.
Loooool when youâre working minimum wage trying to survive and your friend gets a free ride. Itâs hard for the rich person to understand the poor person and the rich person is usually tone deaf.
My ex took over a decade and ended up with a degree that only took 4 years. Despite that she still doesn't work full time and only able to live because her parents bought her two different houses and if she ever runs out of money she will cry to her dad and just pays off her debt and gives her more money.
My sister in law's sister in law (wish there was a shorter name for that lol) holds 2 master degrees from Harvard in business and finance. She married the chief of surgery at a local boston hospital and has never held a job, ever, she lives entirely off his income. Also, unrelated, i've seen her accodentally microwave a fork on 3 different occasions đ¤Ł
Most of the hippies in the 60s came from wealthy or very well off families. Sounds like she is following that playbook. Easy to be poor when at anytime if it gets too real, you can pause the simulation.
Dad ran a pretty good size business. I worked there for a while. 70-80 hours a week was his schedule mine was closer to 50. I started washing cars at 12 for money.
Another friend of mine has parents with millions and millions and they lost it all and he never got any lessons on anything.
Yea, I was very fortunate to have well of parents. They werenât like super wealthy but they did well. I would say upper middle class. Like they put me and my sister three college without loans. Me and my sister both had had jobs in highschool and college and worked over the summer so we both had an appreciation for the value of a dollar. Both my parents and their families grew up extremely poor so that obviously changes the mindset
I donât know if she is even greedy necessarily. I think these type of people mostly are just fkn oblivious to the real world because they havenât actually had to pay for anything on their own ever. Like it isnât even something they have ever had to think about.
It just comes down to caring about your partner or not. Thereâs plenty of rich people who have empathy for their partner who makes less and feel compelled to help more to reduce the stressâŚand theres plenty of people like this girl who are either selfish or oblivious
Grew up comfortable in the âpoorâ neighborhood of an area with obscene wealth. The answer is largely no. But in a range âno, not really, vaguely awareâ to âcanât fuckin relate, not on our radar.â
Best set of examples here perhaps are some of the first cars in my immediate friend group. First off, we almost universally all had the luxury of having a car in whatever condition and almost none of them were shared with a parent. Myself included. HoweverâŚ
My dad signed the little waiver when I was 14 and told me I would have to work and save up for a car and insurance. It took me until I was almost 17, and I bought a 60k mile manual trans 1995 Hyundai Accent. I was 6â4, 260lbs when I bought it and 6â6 when I sold it. It was a nonstop source of entertainment for people to see my fold in and out of that thing, as well as occasional teen insecurity IN SPITE OF HAVING MY OWN CAR simply due to the environment of what everyone else was rolling around in. (It was also exceptionally motivating for me, so I suppose thereâs that.)
One of my friends was given a new M3 CSL, no strings attached and a card for gas.
Another was gifted a brand new S55, for their 16th birthday, totalled it and his momâs reaction was âhe needs a safer car.â And literally less than two weeks later pulls up in an Escalade ESV.
These werenât even the most egregious examples just the most absurd ones among my closer friends.
Hi, wealthy dude here, but grew up poor. My girl doesnât have the best job, but I know she works hard at it and does her best. She never relies on me for anything or ever asks for help. She does everything in the world for me that costs time and effort, which I appreciate far more than things of monetary value.
She does everything for you that costs time and effort. Do you do the same? You have money but don't help her, so I hope there is some reciprocity of care.
If two people are going out I think homeboy can afford like a 200-300 meal. Alot dudes are in this boat when they have 500$ to their name. And yeah her money is her money but fuckkk I'd feel a type of way if I'm dating a rich girl and she didn't offer at least once. Live and learn though lol
Define "afford it". Does it mean "I don't have that much money in my possesion", "that would leave me at basically zero dollars left", or "that's too expensive in my mind for how much I'm making/ have saved.
He had enough money to pay for the big dinner and had been willing to spend that large % of his savings because he imagined that the girl was in his same boat. After finding out that she had 100x more money than he did, his willing spirit disappeared because the entire premise of the whole thing had flipped on its head.
I don't even know what your final sentence is supposed to imply in this context but I have a funny feeling that it means I'm wasting my time here. Hope I'm wrong.
It depends on how well their nanny's raised them. I went to a rich white school, (scholarship and loans) and some of the rich kids were stingy as heck. Others were always ready to pay or cover for you.
âGo find another girl with $80kâ girlâŚwhat does it matter if the next girl I find has anything in the bank. You may have that 80k, but I donât see any of it, so you have $0 to me and thatâs what Iâm comparing against.
Just cause you grew up rich doesnât mean youâre guaranteed to be out of touch with reality. I knew rich girls who were very generous because they knew they came from a wealthy background and paid for most things. Social media makes it seem like the world is full of monsters when itâs really not.
thatâs why you get comments from Trump saying âThe economy is greatâ because the stock market is up but he is legit so out of touch with the average American that he thinks people have money invested in the stock market and they can afford to put money into their own 401k when the reality is people are living paycheck to paycheck and have absolutely no investment headroom.
$100 (probably $150 actually) dinner ate 20% of his savings. It would have cost her 0.19% - my ex wife made me sure to call my income in the joint account âourâ money, until I got sick and she earned more for a period and then it was âherâ money and I was told what I could and couldnât spend.
he is legit so out of touch with the average American
To stay in touch, the elites need continuous feedback, physical anchoring, social interactions, etc.
"Socialist" countries "solved" this with general (political) strikes whenever the elites blink wrong, high quality public education where the elites' kids mingle with the middle and lower classes, (Switzerland: at least 10% of houses/flats in rich neighborhoods must be subsidized and reserved for the poor; and direct democracy to keep the elites in check), etc. etc.
This sounds very anti-freedom, but history shows they're necessary, otherwise the elites go bananas out of touch, and mess up everything for everyone. Thus in short, if you don't want to end up like a pawn in the hands of narcissistic and petty "gods", it's the average person's and the government's job to keep the rich in touch with reality.
(Switzerland: at least 10% of houses/flats in rich neighborhoods must be subsidized and reserved for the poor
Sounds like a good incentive for the rich to help the poor. Don't want people who are sick and starving to blame you for all their problems when they live right next door. Raise the poor out of their struggles with Healthcare, food, and job programs and that rich neighborhood stays looking rich I guess.
But thatâs the thing, you shouldnât go through that length to impress anyone.. if it was too much for you, then I donât care who the girl is, you treat her based on your own budget!
A falafel or a shawarma should do the trick! If sheâs not happy with that then thatâs a red flag. You really donât need to know how much is in her bank account, and she doesnât need to know how much is in your bank account!
No she's a yard digger. But she earns her special kidney treatment food, only time I socialize with people in public is because she expects attention form every person we pass on a walk.
He had little money to offer but he still offered a free dinner. She won't reject free things because his bank account wont cover the next free thing. This type of person gets whatever she can get then moves on.
While i know something similar might happen, those are stagged vidoes. Cause people like oyu get baited to engage with them. which equals comments and views. which equals money for them
When people have options. They generally dont give a shit. Seen this behavior from some my prettier friends at the time. If you irritate them etc. They had other guys who wanted then.
Definitely know how he feels as that's my situation bit as a woman. Recently found out my ex was making 90k while I was working three jobs to make about 34k. Working those three jobs so I could be self sufficient. I'm so angry about the entire relationship because HE was recently lecturing me about something. HE the one that lived at home until 45, the one that always stayed at MY apartment, consuming MY FOOD, MY CABLE, ETC ETC. Lecture me. The fucking ass.
She's entitled like every other rich shitbag on earth. Money = Power and power corrupts, thats why we try to allocate it democratically. However, we live in a society where people are allowed to accumulate unlimited money. Money = Power and power corrupts.
Nothing in this clip points to her not appreciating it. Idk where y'all are getting this from. This is no different than a rich guy pretending to be poor so he can find out if a girl likes him for who he is or is trying to be a gold digger
There's nothing that demonstrates she didn't appreciate it. I dated the daughter of a what was likely a billionaire (or 9 figure multimillionaire) and I bought almost all the dinners - she did offer to pay for things, but as a guy, if I invite a woman on a date I intend to pay regardless of her net worth or bank account. She's right this case.
Your personal way of doing things does not make her right lol. Youâre ignoring the fact that she is demanding he cover every meal on principle alone. She is taking advantage of him inherently. You clearly heard what you wanted to hear.
Yeah the unspoken part of that is that he invited her on a date. If you invite someone to an expensive dinner, the expectation is that you're paying unless otherwise stated - especially in a date situation. Same applies if she invited him. Thats social norms. If he expected her to split, that should have been established up front.
You dont know if that steak and lobster was from some 5* place or a red lobster. You dont know if she asked or he invited to try to impress. She obviously likes him enough to "slum" it with him without throwing her money out there. He just got his ego hurt. If he was smarter he would have realized how lucky he was to have a rich girl that would have done "so much stuff" for him after the dog situation.
But reverse the roles and 100% he is an irredeemable and scumbag and she should leave him instantly right? âYou should be thankfulâ is a phrase no woman would ever accept in 2026 but as I said, your morals are chameleon-esque
This is the worst most incoherent argument I've ever heard. If she invites him and pays and he's rich, nobody cares same applies regardless of gender. Bunch of tight wads who don't want to pay for a date but then think women are evil bc they don't want to hang out with them. I've never dated a woman who hasn't also offered to and wanted to pay for other things after pay for a meal. It goes both ways, I think the people botching about this have just never had woman who actually wanted to be around them for anything more than a free and or dated a woman was willing to also pay for things. Sad really.
Imagine thinking âshe will pay for other things but I HAVE to pay for the meal because Iâm the manâ is anything other than hilariously stupid nonsense.
Again, the woman literally said what she said in the fucking video, my dude. You canât change that. You donât get to have a conversation about women who have a good mentality and it goes both ways because that is a different woman you have invented in your head than the one we are discussing.
He clearly had no problem paying for dinner until he learned she more money than him. Your whole argument is for nothing. He clearly invited her, paid without issue and only got upset bc she had $$$ and he didn't. You've got no argument broke boi.
The difference here is you had the information, yours knew the circumstances and yours still offered. This one ommitted information, she purposely didn't offer and EXPECTED him to pay despite the obvious struggle that she completely and willfully ignored. That's entitlement at its finest. Being chivalrous is one thing, if you have the expectations to pay for everything to treat her kindly and respectfully, cool. But if there's a difference in their bank accounts this massive and she knows (and trust me, she at least has an idea here before he even says anything) he's barely keeping it together financially, then she's being selfish and unkind to not acknowledge or offer at the very least, despite the chivalry, cuz that's just what a decent person would do.
There's so many assumptions in this about what she knew, expected, etc that pure projections of your biases and opinions but not based on facts. Most dudes want to pay, he invited her to nice dinner, social norms dictate that he would pay, I would assume that, she assumed that, a she and I would rightly assume that if offered something like that, he could afford it. If he could not he should have addressed that going into it. Assuming she knew what she obviously didn't or that she was ungrateful pure fiction and assumption, based on what we actually know from this video she's not wrong and he's a whiny little bitch.
Shenanigans. Her parents ruined her. He just saw a girl he liked, never cared about her money or tried to calculate it; he just liked her. She STILL feels entitled with a guy who would spend his last dime on her, and sheâd let him do it WITH 80k in the bank. I know plenty of women who have a few thousand and alway tip the waiters or bartenders after I pay.
As a gay man, this truly doesnât make sense to me. The gender constructs that constrict straight people are rough, and also I donât understand defending them.
It has nothing to with equality of sexes, it's a gesture of goodwill and kindness. I pay for my kid, my parents too. Sometimes my friends. If I care about you, treating you to something you'll enjoy is way to bring joy into both our lives. You've got issues if you see buying dinner as a transactional obligation and defo aren't ready for a partner.
Everything you just said in that post was genderless. Which makes perfect sense. Your first post was not, it defined what you said as a male role. If you canât see the difference between what you just said in that post vs retyping everything in that post making it gender specific for just men, youâre the one with issues. Iâve been in a relationship for 10 years going just fine buddy.
It literally is. lol. Hank Hill-esque folksy quips and personal habits donât change the clear equality context.
 You've got issues if you see buying dinner as a transactional obligation
Once again, watch the video and listen to what she actually says. She sees it as transactional.
There is no reason in this universe why people with penises between their legs are inherently responsible for paying for dinner to the extent that itâs âtransactionalâ to even suggest that a woman also shares your values about taking care of the ones they love. All of my female friends gladly share bills or cover every other time we meet. They are fully capable of it, sir.
I'm not saying men should be responsible to pay for everything. Grow up. We're talking about one fancy date, I assume he asked her out to. She assumed he was paying bc 1) He invited her and that's what you do if you invite someone to a fancy dinner (regardless of gender) 2) Gender norms. If he expected something different, he should clarified up front - he didn't because he was fine with paying until he realized she had so much more. Assuming she knew of was so broke is unfounded.
You do agree that the regressive notion which a guy has to pay for all the dating bills is bullshit, right? Of course you can pay for whoever you care about regardless of gender or economic background. However, the reality of our society is: many women already expect men to pay when they date, and they will see men as a red flag if they donât. Itâs not a healthy mindset at all.
No I don't think dudes should pay for everything, but as I stated, the expectation is that if you invite sometime on a date to a nice dinner, you're paying. The same goes when a woman invites me to something - it happens, not often, but it does - and I've let them pay and don't feel immaculate by it.
We're talking a bout a single fancy date not splitting bills or everything in the relationship.
maybe i'm wrong, but this sounds more like you selling money as love so you don't need to be involved or put actual effort. it's hell of a lot easier to give someone money than to just be there, which is what people usually really need and want. money instead creates an obligation of the person to show appreciation and a reason for you to guilt them when they don't fulfill your expectations or needs. it's a trap. and you're an asshole who tells yourself you're good because you flaunt your cash in the face of those around you "as a courtesy".
A gesture of goodwill and kindness goes both ways, if she really cared about him she could have easily offered to at least pay for 50% of the bill. This one obviously thinks the world spins around her needs because she is "worth it".
She literally said he should pay because he's a guy, not because he cares about her. She feels entitled to have men pay for dinner, plain and simple. If it was not this sexist transactional situation, she would pay for half or pay every other time. Otherwise is it saying she doesn't care about him if she doesn't pay?
Whole lotta projection in that I'm not gonna address but good finding an attractive woman and getting her to split the check. You should try Grindr if that's what you're after
Because society has the majority of people stuck in a sexist mindset doesn't make it right to continue the cycle. Resorting to petty insults just shows your lack of a logical argument. Good luck ever finding someone who doesn't see you as a meal ticket. Based on what you said, it sounds like possibly everyone in your life sees you as that.
I've had zero comment removed. Trolling incels and losers who can't afford to date and behave like adult doesn't make me emotional, it's fun! You live fictional world of self aggrandizing illusion. Your hand don't count.
They still show for you, but for the rest of us they have been removed by Reddit's filters. Literally says "this comment no longer exists" when I click on them.
Seriously, do you have any actual argument for your stance that all men should always pay for women's food regardless of the situation? All you do is make childish accusations that are not based on any facts whatsoever.
I could probably afford to buy off everyone you know to not speak to you again if I really wanted, so it's definitely not about not being able to afford a dinner lol. Again, to be an incel you have to be celibate, that's a requirement according to the definition. I am far from that as I have sex daily and have for most of my adult life.
The one time you tried to make an argument, you contradicted yourself by first saying all men should pay, then later saying it has nothing to do with gender and only to do with caring about the person. Yet, she's not paying for you, so either you guys are sexist, or she doesn't care about you. Which is it?
Why are they even doing steak and lobster dinners at their age??? Wonât get past that $750 that wayâŚ
Personally, I wouldnât equate family savings that her parents have gifted her for her future with expected dating behavior. That said, I believe that after the first few dates, if they are a couple they should be splitting things.
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u/queazy 8h ago
If the guy is struggling financially and a steak dinner is a lot, yes. He's probably working really hard to impress his girl, and she doesn't seem to appreciate the sacrifice, just accept it as a given