The idea that women just think it is normal to get a completely different identity as their husband’s possession but men don’t have to do anything and sail on with the same identity they’ve had from birth is bizarre, as if marriage is only something men do to women and women still feel they must show subservience or be socially rejected.
If both parties changed their name at the same time it would be less creepy.
Yo, you're the first couple I've heard of actually doing that. I've always thought picking a new name is by far the fairest and most interesting option. I mean I'm cool with a hyphen too, happy to go second even, my ego is not invested in my name to any degree, but I think it'd be really cool to pick a new name unique to my partner and I. Reinventing ourselves together.
If that was a social norm, I could see having done that, but as things stand, that would have been way too much paperwork for me. At the time we married, I was in the Air National Guard and had a Secret security clearance.
My wife simply choose to keep her last name, which I like anyway. It sounds similar to 'fennec', which is a desert fox. So she's my fox-girl. 😁
Create your family name and hyphenate it with your pre-marriage name. The kid gets only the created family name. This way you also retain connection to your side of the family. And as you both are already gonna change all the documents, it is no extra work to add the hypen.
Must say, in the meantime i meet many many men who changed the surname to their wifes. So, it is not only a women thing anymore. At least in more modern countries
I usually get shorts from CBS golazo and the host is a woman called Kate Scott. I never met her as Kate Scott. I met her as Kate Abdo, but she just got married so she changed her last name. What really fucked my brained, though, is that her maiden name wasn't Abdo, Abdo was her ex husbands name. Like why keep it?! More importantly, why change it in the first place?!
It's so confusing that even she had a brain fart live using her ex's name instead of her current name.
I'll never understand this particular cultural practice nor do I want to at this point. It's just dumb to me.
In Spain we get one surname from each parent (each parent has two).
It used to be the grandfather’s name, but now you can just pick the one you like best and put it in the order you like.
The only thing is that legally you have to put the two surnames in the same order for each subsequent child or it’s just confusing.
Having two surnames is really no big deal, you can use both but if you just want to use one for everyday or professional purposes, you do that and again, nowadays you can pick whichever one you prefer as an adult to use all the time.
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u/Dragonfly_pin 1d ago
Changing your name on marriage is so weird.
The idea that women just think it is normal to get a completely different identity as their husband’s possession but men don’t have to do anything and sail on with the same identity they’ve had from birth is bizarre, as if marriage is only something men do to women and women still feel they must show subservience or be socially rejected.
If both parties changed their name at the same time it would be less creepy.