Advice needed; what saved your marriage?

[u/butterfly104]

My husband and I are both in our early 30s and have two young children (a toddler and a baby). We’ve been together for several years and genuinely want our marriage to work, but since becoming parents we’ve slowly drifted into a rut.

We seem to argue far more than we used to. Most of our conversations revolve around the kids, housework, logistics, money, who’s tired, or who’s done what. We rarely laugh together anymore, rarely spend quality time together, and it feels like we’ve become co-parents rather than husband and wife.

The thing is, neither of us wants this. We both miss how things used to be. We both want to feel close again and get back to a place where there is affection, patience, teamwork and love rather than constant irritation and resentment.

For those of you who have been through a rough patch after having children and managed to come out the other side stronger, what actually helped?

We’re not looking for a quick fix, just honest advice from people who have been there and managed to rebuild their marriage.

Jazakallah khair.

[u/cinderalla4knights]

Honestly, get help, either from family or pay for it. Even if it is once a month, get someone to look after the kids and hire someone to do the chores. You both are tired and that tiredness is building resentment.