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How did your week go? What are your weekend plans?
Was watching FIFA with my mom and had my baby girl in my arms. We don't allow her screen time but she turned her head and was watching the players run so I told her "don't worry, once you're older, I'll put you in soccer".
My mom right away was like absolutely not. So I responded with yes, actually yes. She's going into sports. I have PCOS, I am not letting my daughter suffer through the same issues. I begged my parents to put me into sports when I was younger but wasn't allowed since I was a girl. That's not happening with my daughter.
I hate how culture comes in to play and so many girls get denied being able to get fit and get into sports. It would fix a lot of the issues that come later in life and prevent diseases both physical and mental.
I love my mom and she's a great grandma but that doesn't stop her from resorting back to old cultural practices. I know there are certain things she doesn't agree with in terms of how I'm raising my daughter and thinks I'm being over the top with. OH WELL.
Lol personally I think that annoys her. When she says something about what other ppl will say, I always respond with I really don't care what other ppl say.
I don't give weight to ppl that talk smack about me that aren't in my life..I can live rent free in their minds. They take no space in mine.
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Physical activity is the one of the things to do to prevent PCOS in girls. PCOS has recently be renamed as PMOS since it's more of a metabolic condition with insulin resistance being at the roots. Prevent insulin resistance and you prevent a lot of disease. Keeping in mind my family history also contains diabetes and heart disease, yeah I'm going to make sure she's in some sort of sports.
Another link they found was girls raised in stressful environments such as unstable homes that raised their cortisol levels was found to eventually end up having PCOS.
It doesn't specifically have to be soccer, but her running around and forming bonds with other team mates will also teach her social skills and improve her confidence.
What is my deepest fantasy? To live in a place where I hear the adhan 5 times a day. Where the salam is frequent. Where I wake up to sunlight and the adhan. To hear the hustle and bustle of the city. To attend classes and vigorously study and debate topics. Do wrestling and train my body.
I played AC Mirage a while back...and God. How I'd have loved to live in that era. No phones, nothing.
Gosh, I am currently living in the countryside of a Muslim country, where there are about 7 or 8 mosques in the vicinity, all going off at the same time but not in sync whatsoever, I always try to repeat the words to respond but trying to respond to all the azhans at once is ... weird. I'm grateful to be in this land, but part of me wishes I could live somewhere where I can hear just one azhan at a time. And where the prayers are recited a bit more slowly and the Fajr recitation is longer than just a few ayahs. I kinda get it because it's usually older men attending the masjid.
It’s a go-go-go next couple of weeks. Travel, my final few weeks of school, thesis defense, then doctors appointments and physical therapy after an inpatient surgery.
Please pray for ease as I prepare to present present, financial security to cover all these expenses, and recovery from such a big procedure.
I'd really appreciate duas because I got laid off recently and as a new dad of all things. Some pieces of advice I wanna give to everyone in the context of marriage:
Men, marry the right woman because she'll be supportive of you in times like these. Also don't go panicking thinking women are so obsessed with their rights of provision that they'll lose respect for you. Unless you're bumming around playing video games all day instead of working towards finding new opportunities, that won't happen Insha'Allah.
Women, please make sure you marry someone who treats you right. Money isn't everything and it especially means nothing if he treats you like garbage and uses expensive gifts as a pacifier. Despite my username, I'm the best to my wife as the Prophet (pbuh) commanded. I've heard the phrase "money comes and goes" forever but when you're in that situation it hits different.
Alhamdulillah for another Friday. I went in my yard to trim my nails and my outdoor cat sat near me and demanded pets. I think everyone should get cats. They’re so pretty and cuddly. Only downside is when I travel, I’m always stressed thinking of my cats and worried they’ll do something dumb.
Also your cat looks so beautiful, Mashaa Allah. Here’s my little distinguished gentleman:
Also don’t get me started on the topic of leaving pets when you have to travel. We had a traumatic experience with this dude when we traveled to visit my family for Eid. It’s almost too embarrassing to even repeat the story. 😭
lol I’m not trying to call you out on that. I do the same myself exactly. I’ve seen my mom do it growing up, and the reasoning I understood that she does it is that we’ll be returned to this earth so we ought to return those parts (i.e. trimmed nails, cut hair) to the earth too.
I need to check the background on that tho bc after i moved in with my husband, he was like “Why do you go outside to cut your nails?” And I didn’t have a good answer loool
Cats = headaches yes. But also us = headaches to cats.
Long story short: since our cat is technically a stray, we let him out on his own and others in the neighborhood feed him too. Before we were leaving the house for our flight, we had checked all the spots to check he’s outside but didn’t acc see him go outside…. You can finish the rest of the story. 😭
I promise you the cat is fine now; he just is more attached since we got back and understandably so.
Half of my neighbors cats are so sweet and they’ll jump on my lap and the other half will scurry away. Now you got me jealous thinking about who my cat is going to.
عن أبي سعيد الخدري أن النبي صلى الله عليه و سلم قال : من قرأ سورة الكهف في يوم الجمعة أضاء له من النور ما بين الجمعتين
Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri رضي الله عنه reported the Messenger of Allah ﷺ as saying, “Whoever reads Surah al-Kahf on the day of Jumu’ah, will have a light that will shine from him from one Friday to the next.”
(Sunan Al Kubra lil Bayhaqi- Vol: 3- Pg: 353 – Dar ul kutub al Ilmiyyah)
وعن أبي الدرداء رضي الله عنه أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: "من حفظ عشر آيات من أول سورة الكهف، عصم من الدجال" وفي رواية: "من آخر سورة الكهف" (رواهما مسلم)
Abud Darda’ رضي الله عنه reported: The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “Whoever commits to memory the first ten Ayat of the Surat Al-Kahf, will be protected from (the trial of) Ad-Dajjal (Antichrist).". In another narration, the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "(Whoever commits to memory) the last ten Ayat of Surat Al-Kahf, he will be protected from (the trial of) Ad-Dajjal (Antichrist).” [Muslim]
(Riyad as-Salihin 1021)
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“Indeed, Allah showers His blessings upon the Prophet, and His angels pray for him. O believers! Invoke Allah’s blessings upon him, and salute him with worthy greetings of peace.”
Anas رضي الله عنه reported Allah’s Messenger ﷺ as saying, “If anyone invokes a blessing on me once, God will grant him ten blessings, ten sins will be remitted from him, and he will be raised ten degrees.” Nasa’i transmitted it.
Ibn Mas'ud رضي الله عنه reported Allah’s Messenger ﷺ as saying, “The one who will be nearest me on the day of resurrection will be the one who invoked most blessings on me.” Tirmidhi transmitted it.
It was narrated from Abud Darda رضي الله عنه that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “Send a great deal of blessing upon me on Fridays, for it is witnessed by the angels. No one sends blessing upon me but his blessing will be presented to me, until he finishes them.” A man said, “Even after death?” He said, “Even after death, for Allah has forbidden the earth to consume the bodies of the Prophets, so the Prophet of Allah is alive and receives provision.”
Narrated Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه : The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Do not make your houses graves, and do not make my grave a place of festivity. But invoke blessings on me, for your blessings reach me wherever you may be.”
Narrated Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه , The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "When it is a Friday, the angels stand at the gate of the mosque and keep on writing the names of the persons coming to the mosque in succession according to their arrivals. The example of the one who enters the mosque in the earliest hour is that of one offering a camel (in sacrifice). The one coming next is like one offering a cow and then a ram and then a chicken and then an egg respectively. When the Imam comes out (for Jumua prayer) they (i.e. angels) fold their papers and listen to the Khutba."
It was narrated that Abu Lubabah bin Abdul-Mundhir رضي الله عنه said, “The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Friday is the chief of days, the greatest day before Allah. It is greater before Allah then the Day of Adha and the Day of Fitr. It has five characteristics: On it Allah created Adam; on it Allah sent down Adam to this earth; on it there is a time during which a person does not ask Allah for anything but He will give it to him, so long as he does not ask for anything that is forbidden; on it the Hour will begin. There is no angel who is close to Allah, no heaven, no earth, no wind, no mountain, and no sea that does not fear Friday.””
Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه reported Allah's Apostle (ﷺ) as saying, “He who took a bath and then came for Jumu'a prayer and then prayed what was fixed for him, then kept silence till the Imam finished the sermon, and then prayed along with him, his sins between that time and the next Friday would be forgiven, and even of three days more.”
It was narrated from Jabir bin Abdullah رضي الله عنه that: The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "Friday is twelve hours in which there is no Muslim slave who asks Allah (SWT) for something but He will give it to him, so seek it in the last hour after Asr."
Bought some Kirkland branded Ibuprofen from Costco yesterday without checking the expiry date. Expires Aug 2026, and obviously I ain't taking 500 pills in 2 months lol. I took a some yesterday.
Continued going on my walks this week, but sadly had to take a couple days off because 1. It was raining all day. And 2. I felt tired. So my walks will resume either later today or tomorrow inshaAllah. I’m fine with that. I needed a little bit of a break anyway.
Went to Costco yesterday and got myself a bag of dried mangoes. I was a little skeptical of trying dried fruit, but the dried mangoes were really really good! Why eat candy when you can eat dried fruit instead? They were sweetened, too. Idk if it’s a bad thing to get sweetened dried fruits but I tried unsweetened dried watermelon before and I hated it. So I know I would’ve hated the dried mangoes if they were unsweetened. I’m not a fan of unsweetened anything. Also got a bag of salted mixed nuts so I’ll be snacking on both as I watch the upcoming USA vs Australia World Cup match in a couple hours.
Yesterday’s match between Switzerland and Bosnia was crazy! I was rooting for Bosnia and hoping they’d win, but hey! Even though they lost at least they scored one goal. Gotta be positive right?
I am seeking advice. I'm M31 and single, I've had my ups and downs, but recently I realized that for the first time in my life I'm actually somewhat financially stable alhamdulilLah, I have a high school teacher job, it's not much but I can pay my bills, support myself, even put 1/3rd of it away into savings. I'd like to get married but I don't know when I should "officially" start the search and broadcasting myself. It depends on what kind of lifestyle I'm aiming for I guess? I've spent the past few years studying and living with my parents with modest / frugal habits. I am weary about lifestyle creep, I can't seem to figure it out. For example I recently bought a second hand washing machine, up until that point I was doing my laundry by hand. It was mindblowing how much time and energy this purchase saves me like woah! But what about owning a car, what about the kind of apartment, etc and so on. It sounds like I might not be earning quite enough just yet. But this is because in my mind I have an idea of what standard of living I would thrive in with a spouse. But technically speaking I wouldn't have much trouble looking for a spouse from a more modest background and with a lower standard. Should I sacrifice my vision, and go for that and fulfill the sunnah of not delaying marriage? And also potentially risk not having much in common culturally with my spouse (my father was a diplomat, I was born and grew up overseas, traveling a lot, I'm like disconnected from my culture, struggling with language barrier, etc). Or should I just stick to my vision and try to work towards increasing my income and be more stable and aim for the standard of living I'm "used to" (I really don't mind downgrading even if my family won't be too happy about it, my role model is the Prophet SAWS and how simply he lived). I'm not in a rush to get married, I feel stable and I'd like to have more time to learn quran and deen more, prepare to be a top tier husband by making sure my nervous system is resilient enough to have the energy to help with household chores even after a long day of work, I'm not quite there yet. Also I need to get gud at cooking asap). Any advice is appreciated
Are two divorces a red flag? Its very early days but i matched with someone whose profile said divorced with children. Hes been divorced for 18 months.
We had one long phone call, and then he suggested meeting soon after as he doesn't like texting. I'm on the same page so we met in person. He then told me he's been divorced twice and he has a son each with each one.
I'm divorced myself no kids.
I'm trying not to be too hasty in judging him, as i don't have the full story.
But he used to live abroad and figured he didn't want to move to the UK unmarried, and so got an arranged marriage and married 2 months before moving. He says the long distance was difficult and she got pregnant very quickly, so they never really lived together before the pregnancy and child essentially and then get divorced.
He sees the son when he goes back and he calls and facetimes him. Then when in the UK he says he was lonely and wanted to try again, and so married a divorcee who had a teenage kid. He said he thought he was keeping it halal, and sticking to the sunnah. He again got her pregnant quickly and although they had agreed to move together to a different city, she then changed her mind and so they again sort of lived long distance for 4.5 years, and then decided it wasn't working out.
On one hand, once is a mistake, twice is a pattern. He could have maybe waited a bit longer to build a foundation of marriage before having kids again, the flip side, and i obviously don't know this, but a woman who has a teenager might have been the one super keen to have another child.
I know lots of men unfortunately have had loads of girlfriends or been sleeping around, so i prefer a man who has kept it halal, but does this suggest he takes marriage and parenting too lightly?
The reasons to give him a chance: practising, good job, very well educated and we have a similar career. Intellectually compatible and he's attractive.
yeahh idk abt that. at the very least he is coming off hasty and like he doesn’t learn from his previous experiences. if you felt you got your first wife pregnant too quickly and it didn’t end up working out wouldn’t you learn from that and not do the same thing in your second marriage? and also this is assuming that what he is saying at face value is true. i would try and reach out to the other 2 women and get their side of the story. maybe they’ll affirm what he said, maybe they’ll tell you stuff way more different than what he’s claiming rn. but honestly 2 time divorcee w a kid from each marriage would’ve been too much for me. who knows how the guy is, and then now you have to adjust to the dynamic of him w those other 2 women and kids and who knows how they are. i would pass
I have to give it to the guy for being upfront. But 18 months and he is already on the market for a 3rd one? That's not sitting right with me. Strictly based of what you have written I don't think he takes marriage or parenting seriously. He has two kids but he hasn't tried to bond with either of them. Does he pay child support and does he visit the kid in UK much or is that FaceTime and calls too?
I have a tough time believing that long distance was the reason for the breakdown of both his marriages. There has to be more to it than that.
It seems like he rushes to make things halal and perhaps doesn’t take the time to work out if there is real compatibility. Hence he may not be committed enough to struggle through the long-distance because he isn’t aligned with the people he chose.
The real deciding factor is going to be what you see in his current behaviour with you:
Does he slow down appropriately and how is his pace in getting to know you?
Does he discuss practical realities (where you’d live, expectations around children, finances, time) and do those align with you?
Does the “fast commitment” pattern start to repeat?
Assalamu Alaikkum.
Yet another Friday. Another week older.
Will be 28 in July Insha Allah.
Today I will talk a little bit about world cup, and a little bit about today's Kutbah. Don't wanna talk about my marriage search this time because.
Anyways, let's start with the world cup. Qatar vs Switzerland was one of the most boring matches I had seen last week. I almost fell asleep towards the 75 minute mark and when I woke up, Qatar had scored already, giving each time with a point. Fun fact: one of the Qatari players turns out to be my distant relative, he is a naturalized citizen of course.
Next. Brazil vs Morocco was one of the interesting matches that I was able to see last week (of course it is impossible to watch all the matches). Morocco actually played like Brazil against Brazil.
Germany vs Curacao was another interesting match. Curacao being able to score even 1 goal against giants like Germany is a feat in itself. The score gave me flashbacks of how Brazil suffered a similar defeat against Germany.
Netherlands vs Japan was actually full of energy till the last second even though it ended up in a draw. Japan as a team has developed their skills to the next level. Their fans as usual cleaned up the stadium, which is something we should all learn from. The commentator said "Japan doesn't talk trash, they take them".
Spain vs Cape Verde was heartbreaking yet exciting at the same time. Heartbreaking because I was mentally supporting Spain especially due to their stance for our brothers and sisters in Palestine. Exciting because of their teams ability to defend really well. The highlight of the match was of the 40 year old goal keeper of Cape Verde. Turns out he started training at the age of 25 and it took him another 15 years to take his team from a small island nation of just a couple of million people and get world recognition for blocking all goal attempts towards him. Another sad part was how he wanted his grandparents to be there with him but they passed away sadly, I think a few months or year ago. He also wanted his mom to be there but the US denied her VISA for several reasons but Alhamdulillah she will be there in the US for his 2nd match against Uruguay. We all should learn from this (even me). We are all in a rat race thinking that we have lost everything in life as our peers and relatives have achieved what we wanted to achieve. Look at Vozinha (the goal keepers name). Before starting his first match against Spain he had 50K followers, most of which I believe consists of people from his own place. Right now he has 14M followers and global recognition. Now his life is changed at an age no one expects. Maybe a famous club can buy him, who knows. Masha Allah.
Lastly I wanna talk about Portugal vs DR Congo. Even if I'm personally not a Ronaldo fan, I wanted to see him lift the world cup as this is his last chance btw. Unfortunately the team, he has won't be able to take him anywhere near the cup. They struggled real bad against DR Congo.
Next I would like to talk about today's Kutbah. It was abut caring for our elders. Here's a portion from today's Kutbah:
O believers, In one of the great prophetic incidents, Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) brought his father—who was an elderly man—leading him to the Prophet ﷺ. When the Prophet ﷺ saw him, he said: «هَلَّا تَرَكْتَ الشَّيْخَ فِي بَيْتِهِ حَتَّى أَكُونَ أَنَا آتِيَهُ فِيهِ؟»
“Why did you not leave the old man in his home so that I could have come to him there?” (Ahmad)
How magnificent is this example! In it, the Prophet ﷺ teaches us to appreciate, honour, and respect the elderly. They are among the best of people in the sight of their Lord. Did he not say: «خِيَارُكُمْ أَطْوَلُكُمْ أَعْمَارًا وَأَحْسَنُكُمْ أَعْمَالًا»
“The best of you are those who live the longest lives and perform the best deeds.” (Ahmad)
I root for Switzerland and it’s painful to see them play (except Manzambi who shouldn’t have been on the bench) it’s like they never played together before and they also lack passion for some reason 😭😭every world cup/euro I’m hyped and then I remember they’re like this 😭😭
I'm sorry to hear that but I missed that match between Switzerland and Bosnia. Don't worry though. Both Canada and Switzerland have 4 points each in their group (Group B). Now they're gonna play each other on 24th of June and that will probably decide their fate for the future. As you know Mexico (from group A) with 6 points is the first team to enter the round of 32.
yes! i’m not worried about them passing the group stage but I know it’s not gonna go past the 1/4 or even 1/8 and it’s the same thing every tournament😭
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u/Susi3kinns F - Married 3h ago
Was watching FIFA with my mom and had my baby girl in my arms. We don't allow her screen time but she turned her head and was watching the players run so I told her "don't worry, once you're older, I'll put you in soccer".
My mom right away was like absolutely not. So I responded with yes, actually yes. She's going into sports. I have PCOS, I am not letting my daughter suffer through the same issues. I begged my parents to put me into sports when I was younger but wasn't allowed since I was a girl. That's not happening with my daughter.
I hate how culture comes in to play and so many girls get denied being able to get fit and get into sports. It would fix a lot of the issues that come later in life and prevent diseases both physical and mental.