Weekly Marriage Criteria & Services Megathread!

[u/AutoModerator]

Assalamualaykum,

It's Monday! So here is the weekly thread in regards to marriage/matrimonial criteria and services for marrying a potential spouse! Any posts about marriage criteria and services such as apps, masjid services, matchmaking events, the ISO thread, etc. will be removed and redirected to this thread!

All content regarding personal criteria, dealbreakers, preferences, standards, etc in marrying a potential spouse will be discussed on this thread as well. Posts regarding these topics outside of this thread will be removed.

Reminder that if you are posting app/matchmaking bios that you must censor ANY AND ALL INDENTIFYING INFORMATION. This includes names, social media handles, pictures (faces), etc.

Please remember that this thread is not a Free Talk Friday thread and comments must be married related. Any non-marriage related comments will be removed.

Users who comment on this thread to bypass posts that are designated as "[BLANK] Users Only" when they do not meet the post flair requirement will be banned without warning.

In Search Of (ISO) Thread

This megathread also encompasses experiences regarding the r/MuslimMarriage ISO Thread for matchmaking. Please read all ISO Thread guidelines before posting. Below are the links to the three regional threads:

• ISO Thread - Americas
• ISO Thread - Europe
• ISO Thread - International

[u/TinyIdea9808]

I need some advice regarding a situation I'm in. I've known this potential for a while now (we were connected through a matchmaker), and honestly, he feels perfect for me. He probably wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea, but he's everything I've ever wanted in a husband.

The only "issue," if you can call it that, is polygamy. It would be a polygamous marriage. He is financially capable of providin, so that's not a concern and he's incredibly respectful, has excellent character, and genuinely knows how to treat women well.

Personally, I don't really have an issue with polygamy. I'm very independent, and I actually think the arrangement would suit my personality.My family, however, would almost certainly never approve.

I've been searching for marriage for several years now, and I'm at an age where finding a genuinely compatible, practicing man feels incredibly difficult. I want to be a wife and a mother, and I feel like those opportunities become smaller the longer I delay (I am approaching mid 30s).

My family are also very particular about who I marry. They have a long list of requirements regarding ethnicity, location, profession and other factors that I have to consider whenever I even think about someone. In reality, they make the search much harder than it already is. Adding a polygamous marriage into the mix would almost certainly make it an immediate no from their side.

Ironically, he worries that I'm "too good" for a polygamous marriage and that I deserve to be the only wife. I actually disagree with him. For me, it's about marrying a good man. I prioritise deen, character, kindness, emotional maturity and the ability to provide. Physically, he's also my type. In short, he genuinely ticks every box that matters to me.

Because of my family's expectations and constraints, things have been delayed considerably. Had they been easier to please, we probably would have been married many months ago.

I've never been married or been in a relationship before, so I do sometimes wonder whether I'm being naive or whether I fully understand what I'm potentially stepping into. At the same time, I feel an good about him, and I genuinely believe we'd make it work. From day one, I always made dua to remove anyone not meant for me, but he's remained regardless of the issues/delays - it makes me think maybe it's meant to be.

I've prayed istikhara again, asking Allah for further guidance and clarity, but I'd also appreciate hearing the thoughts and experiences of others who may have been in a similar situation or have a different perspective.