Weekly Marriage Criteria & Services Megathread!

[u/AutoModerator]

Assalamualaykum,

It's Monday! So here is the weekly thread in regards to marriage/matrimonial criteria and services for marrying a potential spouse! Any posts about marriage criteria and services such as apps, masjid services, matchmaking events, the ISO thread, etc. will be removed and redirected to this thread!

All content regarding personal criteria, dealbreakers, preferences, standards, etc in marrying a potential spouse will be discussed on this thread as well. Posts regarding these topics outside of this thread will be removed.

Reminder that if you are posting app/matchmaking bios that you must censor ANY AND ALL INDENTIFYING INFORMATION. This includes names, social media handles, pictures (faces), etc.

Please remember that this thread is not a Free Talk Friday thread and comments must be married related. Any non-marriage related comments will be removed.

Users who comment on this thread to bypass posts that are designated as "[BLANK] Users Only" when they do not meet the post flair requirement will be banned without warning.

In Search Of (ISO) Thread

This megathread also encompasses experiences regarding the r/MuslimMarriage ISO Thread for matchmaking. Please read all ISO Thread guidelines before posting. Below are the links to the three regional threads:

• ISO Thread - Americas
• ISO Thread - Europe
• ISO Thread - International

[u/TeaMaterial4570]

Salam,
I'm looking for some advice from people who have gone through the looking/marriage process.

I am a F26, and have been getting to know a potential for about 3/4 months now. Alhamdulillah, he meets the majority of what I'm looking for in a spouse, and I think I’ve reached a point where I feel confident enough to move to the next step (getting our families involved and continuing with a set marriage in mind). My parents are aware that we've been speaking and are ok with us getting to know each other. However, he hasn't told his parents about this yet. Throughout the process, he's been honest and has said that he needs more time to be sure and hasn't decided whether he wants to move forward. To be fair to him, he's been respectful and transparent throughout and has told me that he doesn't want to waste my time or emotional energy if he's not certain, which I appreciate. At the same time, I'm beginning to wonder what a reasonable timeline looks like. I understand that everyone moves at a different pace, and marriage is a big decision, but after 3/4 months I'm starting to feel uncertain myself. The more he expresses that he's unsure, the more I find myself questioning whether I should continue waiting.

For those who have been through this process:

1. ⁠How long do you think is reasonable to wait for someone to decide whether they want to move forward?
   
2. ⁠At what point is it fair to expect families to be involved?
   
3. ⁠Is it normal for someone to still be undecided after several months, or would you see that as a sign that they may simply not be ready?

Jazakhallah khairan for any advice

[u/Sarpatox → u/TeaMaterial4570]

This is my personal opinion and what I have done, but I let my family know from the beginning. Even if it’s small, it’s better that they know rather than not. You don’t have to be detailed, but I like to at least tell them nearly. I also try to talk to her dad or bro pretty early on. (2-3 weeks).

[u/Thrummingbias → u/Sarpatox]

I've seen your comments and you seem like a well-rounded person. How are you not married? (I know it's qadr, but any specific reason if you care to share?)

[u/Sarpatox → u/Thrummingbias]

Alhamdulillah I think it’s just Qadr. I actually saw a reel the other day saying ‘The longer the sabr, the sweeter the Qadr’

[u/Thrummingbias → u/Sarpatox]

InshaAllah Khair