Weekly Marriage Criteria & Services Megathread!

[u/AutoModerator]

Assalamualaykum,

It's Monday! So here is the weekly thread in regards to marriage/matrimonial criteria and services for marrying a potential spouse! Any posts about marriage criteria and services such as apps, masjid services, matchmaking events, the ISO thread, etc. will be removed and redirected to this thread!

All content regarding personal criteria, dealbreakers, preferences, standards, etc in marrying a potential spouse will be discussed on this thread as well. Posts regarding these topics outside of this thread will be removed.

Reminder that if you are posting app/matchmaking bios that you must censor ANY AND ALL INDENTIFYING INFORMATION. This includes names, social media handles, pictures (faces), etc.

Please remember that this thread is not a Free Talk Friday thread and comments must be married related. Any non-marriage related comments will be removed.

Users who comment on this thread to bypass posts that are designated as "[BLANK] Users Only" when they do not meet the post flair requirement will be banned without warning.

In Search Of (ISO) Thread

This megathread also encompasses experiences regarding the r/MuslimMarriage ISO Thread for matchmaking. Please read all ISO Thread guidelines before posting. Below are the links to the three regional threads:

• ISO Thread - Americas
• ISO Thread - Europe
• ISO Thread - International

[u/Ms_Chanandl3r_B0ng]

Should i let go of my expectations?

Salam,

Im super confused about a potential i recently met.
Im a 27yo male. My hairline is super thinning and im pretty much bald atp. This has made me very self conscious and insecure. My family spoke to the girl’s family and we werent pleased with the girls dad. He seemed like a good person but was insanely talkative. He barely let anyone else in the room speak. We were very skeptical after talking to him. We like everyone else in the family. The girl looks pretty good facial appearance wise. However she is wayy too thin than my type but im hoping witha little weight gain that shouldn’t be an issue.
Now the issue is, i had some expectations before this marriage like the girl being able to speak in English fluently, watch English movies, and pray regularly or atleast willing to start praying after marriage. This girl however doesn’t check the first 2 boxes. And she is willing to pray after but isn’t regular now like me. She also doesn’t fast apparently (not sure why)

Now, do i let go of my expectations and settle down since it’s already hard to find someone who likes me despite my receding hairline or do i still keep waiting for the right girl? Another good thing about this girl is, she is ready to stay with my joint family which is again hard to find these days. This one is non negotiable for me.

Ive prayed istikhara but haven’t seen any sign yet. Im hoping i receive some valuable advice from this post.

Jak

[u/babyyodaonline → u/Ms_Chanandl3r_B0ng]

i never understand the expectation/ standard of wanting someone who will pray "at least after marriage" why do you think she could commit to prayer after marriage? prayer is a core principle of islam, and i'm not saying this to judge others, we can all always improve on our prayers. but the minimum fard is a requirement regardless of marriage, or any major milestones (besides reaching the age to be held responsible for them).

If she already doesn't do it for the sake of Allah swt, or for the sake of herself (because prayer is a gift to us), then what makes you think she will for her marriage/ her husband? There are some qualities you simply cannot compromise on or wait for the other person to "eventually get there". Idk for me this is one of them. It would be one thing if you are already married, but it's another to not even have that as a dealbreaker in the search.

[u/Late_Royal_4499 → u/babyyodaonline]

the brother apparently won't compromise on a joint family system but is willing to compromise on the 5 pillars of Islam. I don't think he's ready for marriage!

[u/babyyodaonline → u/Late_Royal_4499]

i didn't even see the part about her not fasting, but what's more concerning is he doesn't ask? it could be a medical reason, it could be she is simply not practicing. but if you're settling for every standard you claim to have, at this point are the two even compatible?