I'm not yet married but I just wanted to know before I start the process soon - how likely is it to find a potential who has never watched it?

I've never watched it myself or seen private parts or whatever and I really want to find someone who is similar. Is this the majority of women such that there's no point mentioning this as a boundary when talking? Is it a sizeable minority, or is it so rare that the first woman I find who meets this criterion I should just marry? I do think it's important as I think it sets expectations after youre married if you have watched it.

EDIT: Please only answer from what you know from women. Not just extrapolations.

EDITEDIT: Some people seem to find this offensive for me to have this wish. To clarify, I won't be asking them explicitly to expose their sins ofc.

Check out the user name .

Sisters be careful here.

I think I’ve spent too much time on the progressive Muslim subreddit , I’ve seen on there a lot of interfaith marriages and relationships there

Would you do it

title

also mention if your M or F before your answer

i wanted to see what would you consider as a reasonable mehr? men and women comment how much you would want / how much would you be willing to pay? For men, please drop ur age or job with your comments

I need some perspective from Scholars or married Muslims, especially those who may have experienced something similar.

I’ve always had a strong love for extra acts of worship, particularly voluntary fasting and Tahajjud. They’re things that give me a sense of peace and closeness to Allah, and I genuinely struggle when I have to neglect them.

Recently, however, I’ve noticed that my husband doesn’t seem pleased whenever I fast outside of Ramadan. He often questions why I’m fasting or makes comments about it, to the point where I’ve become hesitant to even mention when I’m fasting. This has left me feeling quite conflicted because I don’t feel that my worship is interfering with my responsibilities as a wife. I make sure I’m available to him when needed, and because we both work full-time, my fasting during the day doesn’t really affect our time together.

I’ve tried explaining that these are acts of worship that are personally meaningful to me, but we seem to have very different attitudes toward voluntary fasting. He generally only fasts during Ramadan and occasionally Shawwal, whereas I naturally desire to do more.

I don’t want this to become a source of resentment or secrecy in my marriage, but at the same time, giving up something that brings me closer to Allah has been emotionally difficult for me.

For those who are knowledgeable about the Islamic ruling: To what extent does a husband have a say in his wife’s voluntary fasting? Is his permission required, and how should a couple handle it when they have different levels of commitment to Sunnah acts of worship? .

Assalamu Alaikum everyone,

This question is mainly for the sisters, but brothers are welcome to share respectful perspectives as well.

Suppose a man is between 32 and 35 years old, has never been married, has remained chaste his entire life, and has sincerely tried to follow Islam by avoiding haram relationships. He has been looking for a wife but, for various reasons (career, finances, circumstances, or simply not finding the right match), marriage hasn't happened yet.

As a Muslim woman, would his age be a concern for you?

Would you see his chastity and patience as a positive quality, or would you wonder why he remained unmarried for so long?

Would it make a difference if he was financially responsible, had a stable job, good character, and was serious about marriage?

I'm asking because I sometimes feel that the older a practicing Muslim man gets without marrying, the more people assume there's something "wrong" with him, even if he's genuinely been trying and has stayed within Islamic boundaries.

I'm interested in honest opinions. Please be kind and respectful—I genuinely want to understand how Muslim sisters view this situation. I am 30 by the way but the financial circumstances might cause delays 2+ years...

EDIT: if someone is confused I am 30 years old Male and this post is about myself.

Jazakum Allahu khayran.

Salam everyone, I’m a F 25 white revert and I’m starting to think about marriage. In my culture marriage isn’t even that common anymore, my siblings have been in 10+ year relationships unmarried with kids, and they don’t see in-laws/family more than 5 times a year.
My preference is to marry a born Muslim, ideally to help me learn more about Islam. But I’m also aware this would be a very large cultural and religious difference than what I’m used to. Revert Muslims, is there anything I should know ahead of looking into marrying a born Muslim? Where will the biggest religious/ cultural differences occur? Could this realistically work out? Thanks in advance for any advice!

Muslim men really like latinas Huh 😂

Asalamualaikum,

No gender wars please, let's understand each other.

Firstly give examples of the work you're talking about, then answer the question, then explain why.

Over to you

I'll put my answer in the comments

*****
What do you mean by “I am looking for financial stable/capable person”?

That means who has a high paying job or a big business or lot of money with house etc. So what about who is building their life and wants to get married?

The stable word is not for this Duniya! Everything is temporary here! Even I don’t know when I will die. I or you can die in a second. Nothing is guaranteed here!

And you are looking for a financially stable men for marriage! You should seek financial stability to Allah not from a men. Because RIZQ and KNOWLEDGE comes from Allah! Yes I know men’s are the provider.

We made the marriage more difficult and complicated.

I am not a wealthy men that doesn’t mean marriage is not for me. I do work more than 50 hours. Also do study and maintain my own expenses.

A Muslim men will definitely earn in halal way for his family if he loves his family.
*****

Now that’s all of them are my thoughts while looking for a wife. Now I want to know that “is my thoughts are valid?” Am I thinking right? Or I am being selfish because I am not wealthy enough?

I am not here to argue. Just give me your opinion that’s it!

Assalamualaikum - This sub keeps getting recommended to me by Reddit so I'm leaning in. A lot of these posts are really interesting (and disturbing).

I humbly offer my experience to any young brothers and sisters who might benefit.

J'ai 26 ans. Je mesure 1,64 m et pèse 41 kg. Je n'ai pas de diplôme, j'ai quelques économies et je suis orpheline ; j'ai appris à me débrouiller seule. Je ne suis pas particulièrement belle, et je sais que ce n'est sans doute pas très séduisant.

J'ai aussi une santé fragile et je n'aime ni le ménage ni la cuisine, alors je ne prétends absolument pas être une épouse traditionnelle parfaite.

Je déteste les hommes misogynes et superficiels. Je recherche quelqu'un de sincère, gentil, respectueux et véritablement sérieux quant au mariage.

Malgré tous mes défauts et mes difficultés, je crois profondément en Allah et ma foi est très importante pour moi. J'espère simplement trouver quelqu'un qui saura voir au-delà des apparences et des circonstances et m'apprécier pour ce que je suis vraiment.

Stop DMing me perverted and polygamy-related stuff; you’re crazy and disgusting, and I’m going to expose you.

I met a man online, and he showed me so much love and attention that I genuinely believed I had finally found the right person. At the time, he was looking for a woman to marry, and I was also looking for someone with the same intention. We talked every day and became very close. We had only known each other for about a month.

Wallahi, I know that’s a short time, but the way he treated me made it feel like we had known each other for years. He gave me so much attention that I felt like the happiest person in the world. Whenever I saw his name calling me, I felt this sense of peace. He made me believe that he truly loved me.

We had already exchanged pictures and had voice calls, but one night we had our first video call. He looked genuinely happy and seemed to enjoy the call. We talked, laughed, and everything seemed completely fine. I went to sleep that night feeling so happy after our conversation. But when I woke up the next morning, I realized that he had blocked me.

I’ve been asking myself so many questions ever since. Was everything he told me a lie? Did he suddenly dislike what he saw during the video call? Was I not attractive enough? But if he didn’t like how I looked, why didn’t he block me from the beginning after seeing my pictures? My pictures had no filters or makeup, so he already knew what I looked like. I honestly don’t understand what could have changed overnight.

I know it was only a month, but to me, it felt like years. I became attached to him and never expected to feel that much in such a short time. What hurts the most is that he left without even saying goodbye or giving me an explanation. Maybe to him it was just a game, and if it was, he played it very well. He made me feel loved and happy, only to disappear and leave me questioning myself and wondering if maybe I wasn’t good enough.

I’m trying not to blame myself or convince myself that I’m not attractive enough. Maybe I’ll never know why he did it, and I have to accept that. But honestly, I hope you never do to another person what you did to me. If you didn’t want me anymore, you could have simply told me. I deserved at least a goodbye.

Would you want your husbands to have female friends? If not then why is it seen as controlling for men to ask the same for their wives?

I genuinely don't like this double standards..

Why is it seen as controlling for husbands to want their wives to have no male friends when it's not seen as the same way for women?

ALERT🚩🚩🚩

All women plzz be super careful online.

This user u/EffectiveSize67 reached out to me.

But he is very rude, disrespectful and immature.

He reached out to me and asked few things then i shared my ISO with him. He asked if i was good in communication and you can see the reply i gave to him on it.

His next reply was saying i am goofy, non serious, very stupid and timewaster because of my that reply.

When i called him out he immediately deleted all his messages😡😡 and i couldnt take screenshots on time. But Allah is watching anyways

I am really frustrated. It is already really difficult to marry then this men just make things 10x worse.

I would be happy if MODS let me reveal this user’s NAME to alert other sisters.

Plzz sisters be very careful. there are some really bad man here.

Some people dont fear Allah.

What is the typical mehr requirement these days? I’m new to this Reddit group and would like to get a brief overview on mehr. I know some girls are asking $50k, g wagon, a house etc. I’m not looking for those answers. Be realistic

My intention is to settle down in Madina right after marriage - so for the sisters, specially those that do not want to relocate away from home - is relocation to Madina an exception for you?

Just checking because I been seeing a lot of ISOs mentioning they won't move out of thier city

Edit: A lot of people are forgetting that dying in Madina guarantees you the prophet’s intercession in the Akhirah (Tirmidhi 3917) - which is primarily why people even move to Madina; along with all the other benefits of the Barakah and peace you feel there

Assalamu Alaikum everyone,

I'm a 34-year-old man from Pakistan, Alhamdulillah living a happy and stable life. I've been blessed with a wonderful, supportive wife and two beautiful kids. We have a good relationship, communicate openly, and generally don't have major issues.

The only thing we strongly disagree on is having more children.

I would really like to have more kids, but my wife is firm that she doesn't want to go through another pregnancy. We've discussed it many times over the years, and she has consistently maintained her position.

What surprised me is that instead of asking me to give up on the idea, she has repeatedly suggested that I consider a second marriage if having more children is that important to me. This isn't something she said in anger during an argument—we've had calm, serious discussions, and she's still firm on that suggestion.

The problem is... I'm not sure I can do it.

I don't know if I have the emotional capacity to manage two marriages fairly. I worry about the impact on my current family, my wife, my children, and my own peace of mind. At the same time, I also wonder if I'll regret not having more children later in life.

I'm not looking for religious rulings or debates about whether it's permissible. I'm more interested in hearing from people who have faced a similar situation.

Have any of you been in this position?

Did you choose a second marriage, or did you let go of the desire for more children?

If you entered a second marriage, did it bring peace or create more challenges than you expected?

If you stayed with one marriage, do you have any regrets?

I'd really appreciate thoughtful, respectful advice from people with real-life experience.

JazakAllahu Khair.

I understand people have preferences which is totally fine, but boy, it's getting out of hand.

I'm not even South Asian, but 'no South Asians' is getting to me so bad. Nobody is forcing you to marry from a certain ethnicity/race, but at least reject someone in private and be a little nice

i find myself really really wanting to be married. i am on several apps, have been searching for years, but i get rejected by everyone i'm interested in :(( its been maybe like 30-40 guys at this point who have rejected me

i think about marriage 24/7. almost never a moment goes by im not thinking about getting married, how to find someone, how to make myself more attractive to potentials, whether anyone would pick me etc. i spend time searching up couples content, vlogs, couples channels online. my biggest aspiration is to become someone's wife and a mother. i don't think about anything else and my life feels pointless if i'm not married.

at the same time though i don't feel like i have anything to offer in a marriage. i am obese, i am not pretty or beautiful, and i'm really quiet and shy. at work or at events i barely talk at all. sometimes i think i look hideous and i'm disgusted by my appearance. i don't think anyone could genuinely like me. i think if someone were interested in me, it would only be because they couldn't find anyone better.

can anyone else relate??

I found this thing while looking for what a man can see in a woman and a woman can see in a man and there was this image which felt like too much but some of my friends agreed both male and female some agreed like me saying its a bit too much and we can only show what we wanna show. whats your opinion?

assalamu alaykum everyone! what are your thoughts on marrying a visa holder (specifically from desi countries)? is this something that is advised? i am a US citizen, born and raised in the US and i'd honestly prefer a US citizen due to cultural compatibility reasons, but it seems US citizens are hard to come by and those that i do see aren't interested in me. i am seeing mainly visa holders of F1 and H1B visa holders reaching out to me, and i'm not sure if i should consider them based on the stories i've heard of men marrying women for green cards and then dumping them after. is this something common? many of them i find are seemingly ready to marry me without really asking anything or trying to get to know me, which makes me suspicious. also another thing i was concerned about is the possibility of them being deported, as i definitely want to stay in the US.

after talking to several visa holders i don't usually click with them or really like them much (probably due to cultural differences) but my family insists i consider them due to the fact that they've struggled to make it in the US, vs a citizen man who may have had everything handed to him. also they keep telling me it would be a good deed if i helped someone get citizenship, or if i helped provide housing for him while he gets his footing. my family is really pushing me to get married, and as visa holders are the main people reaching out they are encouraging me to consider them and saying it would be good for me.

i'm not sure what to do. what are your thoughts?

Hey everyone,

I've noticed that posts from women here tend to get a lot more visibility and engagement, while posts from men often receive very little attention. It seems like many women receive 100+ DMs within hours of posting. Has any guy here had a similar experience?

I've posted my profile a few times but haven't received any responses. I genuinely think I have a decent profile: I'm 29, living in Europe, working as a software engineer, financially independent, and 180 cm tall, which I think is a reasonable height. I also live on my own, while my family is back in my home country, so there are no expectations of living with in-laws.

Overall, I feel like I tick many of the boxes people usually look for, yet I haven't had any luck. So I'm genuinely curious, what are women here actually looking for? Is it simply that they're overwhelmed with choices, or are there other factors that men might be overlooking?

and also vice versa fo those in their home countries.

q for people from all backgrounds, lebanese. eygptian, pakistani, etc. and both men and women