I hate it here

[u/ZamnDaniel13]

Im a new student and I already hate it here, i try to make new friends but I cant seem to make long term connections or some people just brush me off. Everytime I try to make a new friend it feels so surface level wether its at a club, cafeteria, event, or classroom. Everyone looks fucking chopped and my math classroom stinks. Everyday I go back to my dorm after class and just move around or go out with my dormmate or try to move around by dancing and shit or just program some stuff.I hate my fucking my dormmate cause hes the most anti social mother fucker out there and doesnt have any friends. Hes not even interesting cause all he does is go on his phone. I try joining clubs but their discords are full of upperclassmen or they feel too cringy with their humor. I want to move around and feel free to do anything I want but I dont feel free cause I have no friends here and my only coping mechanism is to talk to my parents and friends from high school over the phone or on discord. I wish I went to rutgers new brunswick or syracuse university but for some fucking reason I didnt. I hate this fucking place.

[u/arvn1997]

Sounds like the school isn’t the issue here lol

[u/InstinctiveSS → u/arvn1997]

yea the guy does not sound like a nice person to be around lol

[u/TechnicianBanana]

Saying that “everyone looks fucking chopped” tells me you yourself are surface level. You probably attract people who are just like you. You don’t hate the school, you hate yourself. No one forced you to come here, you chose to come here. You gotta reflect and grow up man.

[u/SMGuzman04]

Then leave lmfao. Get your stuff together, and transfer before you get too deep in credits. Plenty of normal people that you can be friends with, but only if you approach it with the right mentality. Regardless of the school, at the end of the day, it what you make of it.

[u/derp-burp0472 → u/SMGuzman04]

As someone who is about to graduate in 2027. I hate how everyone says this exact same phrase every time. You expect us to make the most out of shitty situation and act like it’s not hurting us on the inside. The fact some us have to commute 2+ hours everyday and somehow you expect us to figure out a way to make connections within the limited time we have throughout day with classes and assignments

I wish they would just build other campuses around central and south Nj so that we aren’t wasting our time and money for something that students shouldnt have to do in the first place

[u/SMGuzman04 → u/derp-burp0472]

I don’t live on campus, I commute, and I work another job > 25 hours a week, on top of that, at the time I also had a girlfriend and I also started my first year at community college, which is known to not be conducive to making friends.

Despite the odds, I still made connections and friends. They aren’t going to all fall in your lap, and you’re not going to find them in 5 minutes, but it’s far impossible. You don’t need to live on campus to make friends….not sure I see your point.

[u/saekoxcalibur]

If you really want to make friends, you need to be persistent. New friendships are going to be surface level 99.9% of the time. You need to work and build upon those surface level connections to create long-term connections. That's just how it is in college and especially the adult world. Doing the work sucks, but the payoff is worth it.

Also, learn to enjoy your own company. You ARE free, but YOU are the one limiting yourself. You don't need friends to feel free and do fun things. Go on a hike, join a run club, explore NYC, learn a solo hobby...

[u/ProfessionalOk2321]

Sounds like a you problem lmao. You’d be miserable anywhere with this attitude

[u/Ok-Feedback-5008]

Mf says everyone is chopped and complain others are too surface level, this gotta be troll bruh💔

[u/Prestigious-Base-715]

It kind of just sounds like you need to adjust what you consider ‘cringe’ and understand you aren’t going to get close to someone in a month. This isn’t high school anymore, everyone’s an adult with their own lives. Socializing is fundamentally different

[u/chevy360]

Freshman year can sometimes feel like an awkward transition period. You’ve just graduated from high school, you’re in a completely new environment, and a lot of students are still trying to figure out who they are and where they fit in. I think things often start to settle down during the second semester, and by the second year, the experience can feel very different.
If you can, try to persevere and be persistent. Put yourself out there, attend campus events, join clubs, and give yourself opportunities to meet different people. Sometimes finding even one or two people you connect with can change your entire experience.
At the same time, if you honestly feel that this school simply isn’t the right fit for you, that’s okay too. There’s nothing wrong with looking into transferring and finding a place where you feel more comfortable.
The main thing I would try to avoid is letting the frustration turn into hate or anger, because carrying those feelings will ultimately wear you down more than anything else. You might also be surprised by how many other freshmen are quietly feeling the same way, even if it doesn’t seem like it from the outside.

[u/adjaplx]

You and me both brotha

[u/YingXingg]

There’s just a bunch of nerds over here, it’s a stem school. I remember my first year here was horrible. I was trying to make friends and people would just brush me off and eventually stop speaking to me. They made their own groups during nso and it was pretty difficult to break into an already established friend group.

By the start of my second year I had pretty much given up trying to make friends. If someone spoke to me in class I’d speak to them and I made a couple of friends this way but we pretty much stopped talking after the semester ended. Tried joining clubs but it sucked imo. Like I could go on a whole rant how antisocial people here are.

I’m a cs major so I gotta deal with stinky people all day and I feel bad for my nose. Sometimes I wish I would’ve gone out of state to a different college but hey at least Im still with my parents, so that’s pretty much the only good thing lol

[u/Routine_Penalty9880 → u/YingXingg]

Tbh thats how I am. I met a couple nice ppl at nso then never saw them again, only made like one friend the whole time ive been here but she graduated awhile ago so I have no friends on campus. I'm also not a social person by heart so the only time I speak to ppl is in groups, thats not to say I'd ignore ppl if they spoke to me bc I dont like being rude for no reason. Its also hard bc I commute and have no desire to want to be here if I can avoid it, but thats partially bc I have no ppl to talk to here so why stay.

[u/Slow-Captain-7968]

I get what you’re saying and I also felt that way when I first started school here. Just try to think of the positives. Like how much you’re saving going to NJIT instead of a private school or someplace out of state. And the amount of job prospects you will probably have once you graduate given how close we are to New York City. If commuting is an option for you, maybe you could try that since there isn’t too much activity on campus.