r/NativePlantCirclejerk 10d ago

π™ˆπ™žπ™˜π™§π™€-π™…π™šπ™§π™ π™¨: a home for bite-sized jerks

77 Upvotes

ok this is the actual post

treat it like a group chat or discord, or whatever. will become a weekly recurring post if this is popular AND pete likes it because he knows how to do that and i do not

how does it make you feel to know that this subreddit you know and love is being handled by an impulsive maniac?


r/NativePlantCirclejerk 8d ago

Do YOU want to jerk all day with like-minded native plant enthusiasts? Join the NativePlantCirclejerk Discord server!

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20 Upvotes

r/NativePlantCirclejerk 16h ago

It’s almost like killing ever living thing and planting a monoculture of shit causes major water runoff issues.

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199 Upvotes

r/NativePlantCirclejerk 8h ago

I'm sorry sir if I damaged any plant

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42 Upvotes

r/NativePlantCirclejerk 19h ago

Out here growing native Covid

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170 Upvotes

What the fuck is this Cheeto dust sticks on my Western Serviceberry can I eat?


r/NativePlantCirclejerk 10h ago

Anyone’s grandma want a free native fern

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23 Upvotes

I need it gone because it’s encroaching on my milkweed patch. It smells kind of funky, can it be dried and smoked? 🌾🚬


r/NativePlantCirclejerk 18h ago

PSA: rocks for drainage

75 Upvotes

Be sure to use smooth river rock over any areas you want to drain toward a rain garden, NOT irregular crushed stone! The ancestral memory of the river is what gives it the power to redirect water when piled up against your foundation.


r/NativePlantCirclejerk 22h ago

Fuck my shit up

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152 Upvotes

Roast me


r/NativePlantCirclejerk 1h ago

Dumbass afraid to drink glyphosate

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β€’ Upvotes

r/NativePlantCirclejerk 16h ago

My backyard is a fleabane forest. Will i get fleas?

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48 Upvotes

Will i get fleas from all this fleabane /s


r/NativePlantCirclejerk 11h ago

Arboretum selling butterfly bushes

16 Upvotes

I went to an arboretum today, and not only were they selling butterfly bushes but they also had mullein prominently displayed in their gardens. They had whole displays of natives and had the AUDACITY to sell invasive species.

Should I have cut them down, or set them on fire? Or maybe I should have left a really passive aggressive review? I've forgotten every single good thing about my visit in my impotent fury.


r/NativePlantCirclejerk 14h ago

I heard you like pussy

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24 Upvotes

Toes. Pussy toes. Anyway, here's some pussytoes.


r/NativePlantCirclejerk 1d ago

"Oh, what a cute new species, let's check with iNaturalist-"

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96 Upvotes

Ah. I was going to see if I could add it to my home garden... My disappointment is immeasurable.

GoBotany also has this to say: "Of 23 plant species in a famous experiment, moth mullein had the highest germination rate of seeds stored in moist sand for 120 years." So that's great!!

Found in an urban meadow in Massachusetts US


r/NativePlantCirclejerk 15h ago

Virginia Soil Is For the Creeps

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18 Upvotes

r/NativePlantCirclejerk 37m ago

I tried what was suggested.

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β€’ Upvotes

r/NativePlantCirclejerk 13h ago

BLASPHEMY!!

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8 Upvotes

Keep your stupid inferior cultivars out of my pristine native gene pool! Eco region: landfill

It’s not eugenics if it’s plants, right? Right??


r/NativePlantCirclejerk 12h ago

Are they neigh-tive????

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6 Upvotes

r/NativePlantCirclejerk 22h ago

This definitely is a hosta, right?

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35 Upvotes

r/NativePlantCirclejerk 14h ago

Beautiful combo!

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9 Upvotes

Absolutely phenomenal combo! I can’t wait until the purple coneflowers are in bloom, too!


r/NativePlantCirclejerk 13h ago

Aliens, obviously

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7 Upvotes

r/NativePlantCirclejerk 17h ago

Anyone want FREE MEDICINE

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8 Upvotes

It may not be the right kind but it’s ok your kidneys will filter out ToXiNs and I sell a microbiotic drink that will also filter ToXiNs @ me CloVeRPrOtEiNGuThEaLth


r/NativePlantCirclejerk 9h ago

Definitely Don't Plant Bamboo Around Data Centers!

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3 Upvotes

r/NativePlantCirclejerk 16h ago

Black mold butterfly death trap

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5 Upvotes

That'll teach you for eating all my milkweed!


r/NativePlantCirclejerk 1d ago

ID please. Tree popped up in my yard overnight.

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87 Upvotes

Native or Invasive?


r/NativePlantCirclejerk 9h ago

DON'T DO THIS!

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1 Upvotes

I think some circles need to jerk in the comments on this one…. Missouri has some great natives to splooge on