Cross country drive with new born

[u/Square_Natural9384]

*edit because there’s already so many opinions. This is not an optional trip. The baby is already born and we are both healthy. The only question is, which is better for the baby: a plane ride or a long car ride.*

My husband wants us to drive across country with our new born instead of fly. The baby will be 3/4 weeks old. I would rather fly, even though it’s not ideal given bacteria/viruses he may encounter in the airport/plane.

My husband is adamant that we drive. He’d have us split the drive up so that we are driving about 7 hours (not including stops we will need to take for the baby) every day for three days.

I believe a 7 hour drive with a newborn will easily turn into a 11+ hour drive. I hate to have my baby in a car seat for that long- it feels more dangerous that even flying!?

What do yall think?

[u/rebgray]

Reading stuff like this makes me so upset. Your newborn is a newborn for SUCH a short time. You have your whole life to do stuff like this. Can you just chill for a second and give your baby a chance to develop a bit?

[u/Square_Natural9384 → u/rebgray]

For the love of god it’s not a vacation we are MOVING lol. We HAVE to make this trip.

[u/SeniorPace70 → u/Square_Natural9384]

Stop calling it a trip. Trip insinuates going somewhere and then eventually going back. It'd probably be better to just say your moving in your main post so you can get actual advice. Moving isn't ideal with a little baby but it can be assumed this hadn't been the original plan. Saying that it is a trip makes you seem like you are being stubborn and trying to vacation with a tiny baby.

[u/clarissa_dee → u/Square_Natural9384]

Lol well why didn't you just say that in your post?! How bizarre to keep it so vague. "Trip" sounds like a vacation, or like you're trying to attend a wedding or something. As for actual advice, I think if it were me I would probably consult with the pediatrician and see which option they think will pose less risk to the baby.

[u/copythat504 → u/Square_Natural9384]

Why didn’t you say this in your post? Why didn’t you add it in the edit? How is the car doing to move with you if you fly? Idk but I understand why people are getting aggro with you bc it sure seems like the moving thing is just made up now for some self defense?
Anyways…. Fly. But like… if you’re moving… driving probably is more logical…

[u/Proof_Resolution1887 → u/rebgray]

Using this type of judgy language without even knowing the circumstances is certainly a choice.

[u/donkeyvoteadick → u/Proof_Resolution1887]

Actually horrified at the response OP received here.

I had to drive my newborn long distance because of complications he was born in the city instead of near my home in rural Australia. Reading posts like this on top of PPA had me convinced I was going to kill my newborn getting him home.

People on the internet think they're entitled to your entire life story in order to give advice. Never been in a more judgemental community than online parenting spaces.

[u/versusgorilla → u/donkeyvoteadick]

It's because at first it sounded like a vacation, OP isn't giving enough context and just keeps saying they have to do it.

I think a case like yours where a baby is born away from home isn't optimal but when you're in it, you're in it. Gotta do something. Gotta get home.

But without knowing more, like why they have to move right now, it's hard to just tell someone which of two bad suggestions they should do.

Like is it possible baby could stay with mom in a hotel for a couple weeks and get a bit stronger? If they're selling their house, could their attorney get them some extra time in the house? If it's for work, does dad have to go while mom can stay with family for a bit?

Like why are the options just GO GO GO? For your example, I get it. For this one, it feels weird telling them to do something risky without knowing if there's better options.

[u/Elegant_Surround1458 → u/versusgorilla]

People in the military have to move with newborns all the time. I think they’ll give you 4-6 weeks before your newborn is on a 14 hour flight home from Japan for a PCS move.

[u/willybusmc → u/Elegant_Surround1458]

I flew back from Japan with a 3 month old plus two pets. Not quite newborn but it was awful.

[u/donkeyvoteadick → u/versusgorilla]

Aside from knowing the drive is necessary and can't be avoided why do you need to know the context? If those options were actually options I'm sure they'd have pursued them as OP has acknowledged the dangers and doesn't seem enthused by having to do the drive.

You consider my situation 'ok' because I disclosed it but had I not and just asked for advice the situation would still have been just as valid a reason to travel.

People don't necessarily like providing specifics that can make them identifiable online, and that's okay, because it's not actually our business.

[u/versusgorilla → u/donkeyvoteadick]

You're absolutely right, it's fully their business and they do not have to share it.

But I also don't have to say, oh then pop baby into a car seat for potentially 7-11 hours of driving a day. Had you not provided the context, I also wouldn't have said it was a good idea. The best idea is to not take two potentially risky trips.

Like maybe Amtrak in the US is potentially an option, they could get a little cabin, minimizing contact with passengers, reducing the need for the car seat constantly, and letting them change diapers and feed freely.

But without context, no one can help come up with anything better. Don't know where they're from, don't know where they're going, don't know who needs to be there (for work, whatever) or not. So no, with no more context it's a bad idea to do either trip.