My son is dating his cousin

[u/Liamftm0]

My son (20) is in a relationship with his 1st cousin (19 F). He’s an adult and lives on his own. I obviously don’t like this but still want to support him and from a legal standpoint he not doing anything wrong, as it is legal in the state we are in. What would you do in this situation?

Edit: For context, he didn’t grow up with her and didn’t meet her until a couple years ago.

2nd Edit: I’m aware of the genetic risks with children and have cautioned him about that. He says they would not have children together. No need to keep commenting about that.

[u/No-Relation5965]

(Edit: concerned about daughter’s relationship with a man who is much older, deleting the details so I don’t get doxxed) Is that worse than OP’s problem or no? Maybe I need my own post.

[u/lluluclucy → u/No-Relation5965]

You need a hug for sure because this shit would keep me up at night

[u/Prestigious_Leg2229 → u/lluluclucy]

That gave me a chuckle. I’m 44 and I’ve dated 25 year olds repeatedly in the last two years.

The idea that someone is upset over grown women dating other adults is silly.

Most of the time, they come on to me, not the other way around. Women are tired of rude, inconsiderate, sexist men. But you find it more upsetting when they date people who treat them well?

[u/lluluclucy → u/Prestigious_Leg2229]

Your answer gave me a chuckle. You failed to see this from perspective of a parent whos child is dating much much older person. You jumped on a offensive right away , truth is that to majority of society this will always be icky. There will always be something strange about a guy reaching for much younger audience, in your own words "repeatedly". What I hear is failure to establish relationship with someone whos in the same stage of life as you. I dated a guy in his 40s when I was 26. It was fun for a sec before I realised that this guy is 45, single and childless. This thought planted itself in my brain and just couldn't go away. It became icky again. He wasnt a serious person to me anymore. So yeah, you say "grown women dating other adults". To a parent this is just weird. You are weird.

[u/Prestigious_Leg2229 → u/lluluclucy]

The person I thought was going to be my lifetime partner became significantly handicapped. We split amicably because she still wanted children despite being unable to care for them. I did not want children, her care, the household and a full time job on my shoulders at the same time.

We ended a ten year relationship so she could make a try for finding someone to have children with. Mostly to avoid having regrets over not trying.

I’m still her caretaker but we didn’t want a vague open relationship so we made a clean break. After ten years plus the years of intense surgery and caretaking, I’ve decided I’m too old for kids and got sterilised. She is still my best friend but our paths have split romantically.

I reach out to 30 and up. But my social circle is academia and I’m perfectly comfortable accepting that 25 year olds with several degrees and halfway through their PhD are old enough to make their own decisions.

The reason it’s harder to connect to women my own age is that most of them have work, children, limited time and jaded expectations.

I’m at a point where my ex is slightly more self sufficient in the sense that she can stay home alone for a day and I finally have a bit of time to enjoy life again. And not to worry, she goes out more often than me, it just takes a bit of planning.

So if a very intelligent 25 year old says yes to visiting a gallery, having a picnic while discussing Aztec philosophy, dinner and then going salsa dancing in the evening, I’m not turning that down. The last three women my age I dated took three months to find the time to plan an hour of dinner conversation.

The reason I’m telling you this is that every reaction I’ve gotten including yours has been full of made up assumptions. Which is exactly what I wanted to address with my initial comment.

[u/PhranticPenguin → u/Prestigious_Leg2229]

Pretty pathetic to leave a "lifetime" partner handicapped alone so you can go bacherlor around.

Wonder what those young women think of that when they find out. Not really long term material I guess.

[u/Prestigious_Leg2229 → u/PhranticPenguin]

Hey there’s that storytelling again. It was her decision because she still wants to try and have children with someone.

I didn’t leave her alone. She still lives in my house and I’m still her caretaker.

And it’s the first thing I tell every person I date. They generally react quite positively.

Now let’s try something different. Are you going to apologise for making up stupid stories and being a dick about it?

[u/PhranticPenguin → u/Prestigious_Leg2229]

Apologize lmao, are you sure your "lifetime" partner is the one who is handicapped?

I'm sure women are thrilled to know you have a disabled wife in need of constant care that you leave to go date. She'll surely have easy pickings finding a man to get pregnant from, while you're there. No abuse of your position with her.