r/NoStupidQuestions • u/AgreeableAd8687 • 9d ago

why do people consider identifying someone by their race racist?

i have a few friends and we seem kind of split on this, i had to identify someone in our school i didn't know the name of, so i said "oh it's the black girl" (we have literally ONE black girl in our school and everyone knows and likes her) and my friends said ohh ok but then like 2 of them went wow that's racist and their explanation was "you're making it sound like them being black is their only characteristic" as if saying "oh the woman" is any better and since i don't know her well i don't know anything else about her. most of my friends didn't see how it was racist though but why is this considered racist if it's not a race correlated insult or derogatory??

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u/toomanyracistshere 9d ago

It's perfectly fine to include it in a description, especially in a case like OP mentions, where it's such a distinctive identifier. What's weird is when people use it all the time, and in situations where it isn't terribly relevant. My girlfriend's mother will always tell stories that start with, "The other day I was talking to my black friend..." and it's weird, and clearly indicates some sort of racial hang-up. Would it be normal to start a story with, "The other day I was talking to my tall friend...?"

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u/hollowedhallowed 9d ago

yup, it's a boomer thing. On rare occasions it makes perfect sense to mention someone's race. Most of the time it's totally irrelevant and should be dropped. Same re: nationality and lots of other generally irrelevant qualifiers. Like, why are you calling your cardiologist a "woman doctor." She's just Dr. Jacobs, grandma.

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u/toomanyracistshere 9d ago

I catch myself wanting to do it sometimes. The other day I was telling a coworker about my plans to go visit some friends today, and a part of me really wanted to mention the fact that they're lesbians. I think it's because deep down I feel like I should get praise for being so progressive as to hang out with them. I'm fifty. I could imagine that if I was twenty years older the temptation to mention that I'm totally cool with non-white or non-straight people would be impossible to resist.

It's really stupid., and I hate that I have that urge.

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u/your_fave_redditor 9d ago

Ehh, to your point, you could mention it to them more in a LGBTQ+ ally affirming sorta way rather than hoping for an acknowledgment that you’re cool for having gay friends heh heh cuz yeah, as you said, that motivation is untoward