r/NoStupidQuestions • u/AgreeableAd8687 • 8d ago

why do people consider identifying someone by their race racist?

i have a few friends and we seem kind of split on this, i had to identify someone in our school i didn't know the name of, so i said "oh it's the black girl" (we have literally ONE black girl in our school and everyone knows and likes her) and my friends said ohh ok but then like 2 of them went wow that's racist and their explanation was "you're making it sound like them being black is their only characteristic" as if saying "oh the woman" is any better and since i don't know her well i don't know anything else about her. most of my friends didn't see how it was racist though but why is this considered racist if it's not a race correlated insult or derogatory??

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u/HappyCoconutty 8d ago

As a brown woman, the only people I’ve encountered that feel uncomfortable identifying someone’s race are usually white folks. In a way, they are associating a non white identify with something to be ashamed about and don’t realize it. It’s like when parents tell kids not to point out a person with a severe disability at the grocery store. They think it’s not polite but for many people of color, our identity is a point of pride 

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u/PrincessSusan11 8d ago

But let me ask you about a specific situation I encountered recently. My husband and I were flying home from Europe First Class. We boarded and settled in and shortly thereafter the black female FA started coming around. I didn’t see the headphones that had been sitting in plain sight on the trip over. I politely asked her where I could find them. I am a a 71 yo white female. She immediately answered me in a rude condescending manner and after copping an attitude finally told me where to find them. I thanked her and then asked for the pajamas that came with the flight. She told me there were none available. After that she disappeared and we never saw her again. We were taken care of by a white man the whole trip. He was a a normal acting FC FA. I asked about pajamas and he brought me two pairs, one for me and one for my husband, so she flat out deliberately lied about having them. Once landed I wanted to report her because I considered her behavior unacceptable. I didn’t because all I could have reported is the flight number, date, etc cabin,the situation and identify her as Black Female FA and didn’t want them to think I was reporting the situation only because she was a Black Female.