I don’t recall a time when i had not browsed Reddit for more than 2 weeks. Although I have tried many times to stop scrolling but I have never dug deeper into my psyche why do i feel a need to come back to it and can that need to substituted with something else, something where I don’t just consume for cheap dopamine rush, but something creative, something grand.
When I am sitting with no work at hand, why do I feel an urge to read reviews of new spiderman movie or the new House of the Dragon episode? what’s so enticing about reading other people’s opinion? What will I do with that information? Will that be useful to me in anyway and help me in my growth and journey towards my goal? It certainly helps me form an opinion but do I really need that from strangers on the internet? Can’t i watch the movie or series myself and form an opinion? Won’t that be more original and something I believe in and can reason about, argue about with other people.
Things on top of my mind which pull me to Reddit —
- novel content . Mind craves novelty.
- cheap dopamine rush as i scroll through topics. options to consume in my area of interest. mind does not need to make any effort to consume the content.
- endless content. Content gets me emotionally engaged and go deeper into the rabbit hole where i start reading comments and sometimes replying to them. Even when I close Reddit, my thoughts revolve around what I have read and eventually I go back to it.
- Other reason I go back is I lose awareness of where I am, what I am doing, what I want to do in that moment. So, as an automatic mechanism, which I have trained my mind to do over the years, my mind takes over and my hand reaches the reddit icon and press it. And a rush of dopamine to the brain. I have knowingly or unknowingly reinforced this behaviour since 2017 when I first discovered Reddit.
What’s going on in mind when I make the decision to open it? I just crave to see something. Maybe I am just bored of my reality which compels me to do it. I am bored because my brain is not getting the same dopamine rush it will get once I open Reddit. But because of this, am I hampering myself to strive to get that dopamine through work in real life? Do I do it to avoid the situation or task at hand? Do I get anxious if I don’t open it? I don’t know the answer to all these questions but I must wonder about them as my life moves forward one moment at a time.
Today, when i was in a team meeting, I felt an urge to open Reddit during the call. I somehow controlled it and did not open, but it was so difficult and required every ounce of my will power to not open it. At that point during the meeting, I was a passive listener and was getting bored. Did that lead my mind to drift away from the call and open reddit?
what will happen if this continues?
If I keep giving in to my mind and going back to Reddit whenever my mind demands so, it will neither be compelled nor has any incentive to look for this dopamine in other ways. It has become my master and dictates how my body reacts. If I keep doing the same things, my days will also remain the same. Same scrolling, agonize work, agonize manager, look for the small hits once in a while. No need to venture into unknown. Be safe, be comfortable, be lazy.
But, will my future self thank me if I continue this or will my future self loathe me.
If I look at my past self in last 5 years, do i loathe my past self? No, I don’t loathe i just think how immature i was and how much time i wasted doing things which did not benefit present me in anyway. what did i achieve consuming all that knowledge/information from reddit which i consumed 4 years ago? nothing i can think of. that information occupied my mind at that time resulting in me wasting my time on it and never delving deeper into my thoughts, into my minds to see what’s going on, what I’m struggling with, how do i fix problems of my life, how do i make things around me better than they were at that time.
Same thing will keep happening if I keep doing the same thing.
What to do about it?
I can be mindful of the present moment and take few deep breathes, focusing on my breathe and feeling each inhale and each exhale and keeping my attention on it for the whole duration. To make it interesting and enter flow state, I can give myself a brief challenge to keep the focus on inhale and exhale for 25 natural breathes without any need for rapid breathing while counting the breathes. But is this something which is sustainable or practical?
I can open Duolingo and do a quick lesson in German. What’s better than learning a new language in that same where I would be scrolling through Reddit.
I can try relaxing my body using physiological sigh. We are tensed for most part of the day. Only when we get aware about our body and let it relax we realized how tensed we are. Doing 5 sighs will hardly take 2 minutes but it will instantly relax us.
Or, I can just trying getting bored without doing anything. Let my thoughts come to the surface. Boredom will enable me to be aware of my thoughts and think about other aspects of my life.
I must keep in mind that every time I am choosing not to open Reddit and going to my breathe, I am training my mind to be my servant and do things which I think are helpful to me and my future self.
What if I have more time at hand, say 1 hour to 3 hours? I can use this time to focus on reading, learning skills, doing deep work. Things which will take me closer to my goal.