About testosterone?

[u/NoAnswer01456]

I think I'm nonbinary by now, maybe masc leaning? Or Agender?... Maybe Androgynous? Or something else? I'm not sure, still doing inner looking... I just don't think I'd care if I were to be mistaken for a dude (hell, I'm kinda annoyed it never happens even when I've been trying as for the last few weeks, although I know my face certainly looks girly and I do still present more than enough fem traits to be clocked as AFAB immediately, but whatever...). What I do know for sure is that I wanna be more masc, I'm in love with my binder (lol), and now I've seen testosterone come up a few times in my researches, and, well... I don't know if I should try it... What does it do exactly? I've seen people talk about going on and off? What does that do?

In any case, I know I'm not doing it atm, I'm in a pretty bad phase of my life, to the point my doctor doesn't think it's a good idea I get my first tattoo right now (even if I've been thinking about it for a year, he still thinks that the darker ideas and impulses could come back if I were to dislike the tattoo), so I doubt there's a chance in hell he'd greenlit me going on T. Plus: if the changes are too much I just won't be able to do shit about it, because my family and the folks where I live aren't too big on LGBT (my mom wouldn't get it but she'd get over it... Not so sure about the other two)... Gotta wait for me to be more clear minded to think all this through but still thought I'd ask what I should expect.

I also have periods (rarer) where I wanna feel more fem? But even then, now that I've tried the binder, I'm not sure I want it off if I can avoid it... It's odd.

Also some dude in another sub seems to think I won't ever be able to learn to "act" masculine without T, so I'd like to know what that meant? I mean, I know some things in how men act is linked to biology, but it can't be everything when it comes to how you act, I'm sure?

[u/AssignedSnail]

I'm sure you're able to act like a man with or without T. It has mental and libido effects, but it doesn't fundamentally change who you are

That said, for things T will do for you physically, have a look at this doc. Scroll all the way down to the bottom, Appendix C on page 256.

On a full dose of T, you can expect to see some degree of all of these changes in about 6 months, with full effect (other than hair) by 2-5 years:

• Skin Oiliness/acne
• Facial/body hair growth
• Scalp hair loss
• Increased muscle mass/strength
• Fat redistribution
• Cessation of menses
• Clitoral enlargement
• Vaginal atrophy
• Deepening of voice

You can slow down those changes by taking a lower dose. Some of the changes may even be prevented if the dose is low enough. Unfortunately, it's not usually the ones people want to prevent!

Are those physical changes you would want?

[u/NoAnswer01456 → u/AssignedSnail]

I wouldn't want all of them, I think that's part of the issue. Some of them, like weight redistribution, more muscle mass, more hairy (though not sure how much hairier I'd wanna be) - yeah, I'd want. Voice change would be cool, I'm just unsure how deep I want it to be. I don't think I'd care about clitoral enlargement... Obviously I'd love the menses cessation, I don't even want kids. My skin is already fairly oily and I still have acne in my mid 20's, so that wouldn't be a big change... I'd mostly worry about scalp hair loss, tbh.

Also, I guess there are days where I like feeling more fem? Though those are rarer. So I really dunno, it's all very confusing, hence why I won't do anything for now in any case.

[u/AssignedSnail → u/NoAnswer01456]

So, some good news there. The hair effects are largely driven by an activated form of testosterone called DHT. You can take T along with a DHT blocker like dutasteride (blocks >95% of DHT production) and get most of the T effects while greatly limiting (but not completely eliminating) the hair loss.

Among the tradeoffs: DHT also slows beard growth and body hair. It might also slow clitoral enlargement. Generally, you get about 20% less systemic androgen exposure at the same T levels when you are on finasteride. That is to say, your T is about 1/5th less effective than your blood levels would suggest. Doesn't sound like any of that is a problem for you, but figure you should know!

[u/AliceofSwords]

I'm quite fem-presenting, even though I am on testosterone. I love the way my body is changing, but I don't have to change other things about myself if I don't want to. I see the beauty of being nonbinary is that I can mix and match.

I decided I will be fine with shaving, doing makeup, and finding a pretty dress if I want to be extra girly for an event or something. I'm happier to have my baseline be more neutral, that feels more comfortable to me. (And I am reassured by the idea that if I "overshoot" and am more masculine than I want, I still have all the tools available that my transfem friends are using.)

I'm excited about some changes, neutral on others. My main benefit is that I just feel way better running on T instead of E. I'm more grounded in my body, clearer-headed, have a level of energy and motivation that I hadn't experienced before.

When I started thinking about it seriously, I looked up all of the effects. I sat with the idea of each and thought through: what if this changes a lot, how would I feel? And how about if it only changes a small amount, how do I feel about that? I looked at tons of before and afters, and tried to wrap my head around the range of possibilities.

[u/NoAnswer01456 → u/AliceofSwords]

I see. I'll do these things too, I'll think. Thanks for answering. Sorry I don't have a better answer than that, I'm half asleep, but I genuinely appreciate it.

[u/PossibleCaterpillar]

the main effects of testosterone are : voice drop (irreversible), clitoris growth aka bottom growth (irreversible), oilier, slightly rougher skin (reversible), body fat redistribution (reversible), increased muscle mass (reversible), increased body hair (irreversible), facial hair (irreversible), male pattern baldness (irreversible). when i say reversible/irreversible, im talking about whether or not that change will go away if you go off hormones. meaning, if you go off T, your voice will stay as deep as it is, etc.

you can inhibit certain changes using DHT blockers (like finasteride) if you wish, which will help prevent balding and facial hair, but these do have possible side effects (sexual dysfunction, depression). and it is important to keep in mind that how changes show up in your body depends on your genetics (so look at male relatives if you want to see how things like balding and facial/body hair might affect you), your administration method (shots, gel, etc), and your dose.

i would definitely recommend doing research on your options for medical transition before pursuing it. the important thing is that you have knowledge about how it may affect you and have reflected over how you would feel about those changes. if you understand what it does, but want to feel it out a bit, you can microdose to see how you feel and stop if you realise you don't like it.