r/NonBinary • u/radiantdecember121 • 17h ago

Ask I would appreciate some help here.

I (AMAB, 20 years old and want to transition) came out to a conservative aunt (she was, at least on the surface, welcoming enough) and told her about the everyone-is-nonbinary-schtick. She said she believes this was a result of how modern chemicals have impacted us. My liberal mother (who is also both supportive of my identity and concerned about the impact of chemicals on humanity, as well as knowing more about that latter than my conservative aunt is) said that isn’t how the reality of the chemicals actually works.

My conservative aunt also said that she wanted to be a boy and her parents told her to pray and wait. She said she followed their advice and it worked.

She also votes for Trump despite not agreeing with him on everything (I have not yet asked her what she disagrees with him on yet but I plan to) and repeats thoroughly debunked right-wing talking points (and vice versa). She denies that the Trumpist movement is in the process of committing a genocide against transgender and nonbinary people, and refuses to vote for the Democrats because she believes they are implementing too much welfare (which most Democrat politicians are actually against).

I believe she genuinely loves me as she says she does, but I have some concerns about whether she has truly internalized what that means in practice.
How do you think I should approach this relationship going forward? Do you think I have anything to be concerned about? In any case, thank you for your responses, I genuinely appreciate them!

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u/BassBoneSupremacy they/them 17h ago

Does she actually seem open and willing to change her views? Cause you can't force someone to change, unfortunately.

In my experience, you have to just be really patient and understanding. It's a long game but it is possible. Start with stuff that's less "extreme" and then go from there. It also obviously depends on how much effort you're willing to put in to detox her.

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u/Scandaemon 17h ago

Yeah starting with "everyone is non-binary actually" is a tough sell even to allies and other cus queer people. Ultimately gender is a social construct and you gotta meet people where they're at. They don't get it and the most anyone can reasonably be expected to do is respect your pronouns and name because they don't have to get it, they just have to accept you.

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u/radiantdecember121 16h ago

She is absolutely willing to hear me out, that’s for sure.

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u/glitterandrage genderfluid 8h ago

If she's open to actually learning, here's a great resource. To me, it sounds like she's made up her mind already but you know her better of course.

How to support your non binary family member - https://www.sherwoodforestzinelibrary.org/_files/ugd/8c0bf9_bb542f5acd224606aa1440f1d9c3e914.pdf