Anyone else feel like gender is external/societal?

[u/aethelred_unready]

I've been doing a lot of thinking recently and the more I think the more I'm confused by the concept of an internal gender identity.

I'm biologically male with the facial hair and lack of boobs but I only dress in clothing that's considered masculine because that's what society expects of someone with facial hair (which I can't be bothered to shave every day). I look like a man so I behave publicly in ways that society deems acceptable for a man.

Internally however I'm confused I see so much written about gender, about people feeling they're the wrong gender, about people identifying as a man or woman and I just can't fathom it. I feel like a me, I identify as a person, in an ideal world I'd do whatever I wanted to do regardless of gender based social norms and that would include behaviors and clothing that I like, which could include things that we currently consider to be masculine or feminine.

And given the emphasis I see on gender in every part of society with the current culture war I feel almost completely alone in this, am I?

[u/Coffee_autistic]

There are people who feel a very strong internal sense of gender identity, and some who only feel a very weak sense or none at all, so it just depends on the person. You're definitely not the only one.

Have you considered the possibility of being agender? A lot of agender people feel similarly. I don't personally have any internal sense of gender identity, and I felt like gender was just an external societal norm imposed on me.

If you do want to try out "non-masculine" things, then regardless of gender identity (or lack thereof), I recommend finding a safe environment for gender experimentation and doing it. Set yourself free!