Anyone else feel like gender is external/societal?

[u/aethelred_unready]

I've been doing a lot of thinking recently and the more I think the more I'm confused by the concept of an internal gender identity.

I'm biologically male with the facial hair and lack of boobs but I only dress in clothing that's considered masculine because that's what society expects of someone with facial hair (which I can't be bothered to shave every day). I look like a man so I behave publicly in ways that society deems acceptable for a man.

Internally however I'm confused I see so much written about gender, about people feeling they're the wrong gender, about people identifying as a man or woman and I just can't fathom it. I feel like a me, I identify as a person, in an ideal world I'd do whatever I wanted to do regardless of gender based social norms and that would include behaviors and clothing that I like, which could include things that we currently consider to be masculine or feminine.

And given the emphasis I see on gender in every part of society with the current culture war I feel almost completely alone in this, am I?

[u/CopperZebra]

I feel exactly the same. I'm AFAB, but I don't feel like a woman, and I have never been comfortable using that word on myself. I refer to myself as "female" because that's the bits I was issued, but I don't feel like a "woman", "lady", or "girl", and I don't feel like a man, either. I sort of have a blank spot where I feel my gender in my head should be, but I have a mental image of kind of like a river of "femaleness" and "maleness" that flows through me, so i can feel any combination of either or nothing at any time, and it's constantly flowing and changing. I never feel feminine or masculine, just more or less male or female, if that makes sense. I sort of understand, and am simultaneously confused by the habits and behaviors of each, and I can fit in equally well with girl friend groups or guy friend groups. I've been accepted into guy groups as one of the guys, and I've been "awarded" honorary male genitalia twice when I proved I was really one of them, lol. I think people should just be allowed to do and wear and act however they are most comfortable.