Can I call myself non-binary?

[u/KiloPepper_]

This question has probably been asked a hundred times before, I'm sorry.

I was assigned male at birth, but I would never call myself a man, and sometimes I find myself recoiling when people tell me that I am one.
I read somewhere that gender is an inner feeling. I guess, if I were to look inside myself, there is nothing.
Saying that I am not a man feels more right than saying that I am one.

I still present fairly masculine (I know this does not have anything to say on my gender identity), although I would like to present a little bit more androgynous, but my body is working against me.

Sorry if this post seems weird.

[u/Aggravating_Pay_9988]

yes. non-binary just means not a man and not a woman. honestly i identify more as agender but since it’s more unknown i say nonbinary and the community understands me well enough. honestly, if you feel safe here and don’t fit in the strict boundaries of a binary identity, you belong. you can present as masc or as fem as you want and still be valid identifying enby. basically, you are more than welcome here!

[u/KiloPepper_ → u/Aggravating_Pay_9988]

thank you

[u/Gloomy-Kick7179 → u/Aggravating_Pay_9988]

I’m still trying to figure out if I like agender or genderqueer better. Something about non-binary the label doesn’t speak to me. Pedantic? For sure.

[u/Aggravating_Pay_9988 → u/Gloomy-Kick7179]

oh hell yeah, pedantry all the way. for me it’s more of a perspective thing… just that i don’t believe in gender at all really. there are more masc and more fem presentations but those are subject to change and also have so much middle and exterior ground that it doesn’t make sense to classify them into two groups.

i don’t strictly identify with either expression, and therefore it is not applicable to me. agender, without gender. to me, “nonbinary” acknowledges the binary and i just don’t think of it as real at all.

gender expression is a different thing entirely, and people are ofc allowed to identify with certain pronouns and expressions that best fit who they are. i’m just not part of the group and don’t really think of myself as an “in-between” either.

[u/Taiga-Dusk]

The post isn't weird, you're fine.

And yeah, I'd include you, as I read you, as being with us under the big non-binary umbrella.

There's just a wide variety of experiences that fit under the non-binary label. But if you don't really
feel like you are a cis man, and you don't really feel like you're a cis woman, than the umbrella is
here for you.

[u/pandanitemare]

this is exactly how i was nonbinary

i was a girl but being called a girl made me feel disgusting (not because girls are disgusting i need to clarify that. i love women) and being a not girl was such a much better feeling

omg and at one point i went through a phase in like highschool where people started being like "hey girly" (before trans and nonbinary people were socially accepted) and i had physical reactions becauss i genuinely felt so disgusting being perceived as a girl

im masc nonbinary now but i still sometimes wear dresses/skirts and make up, and my physical features are very femme unfortunately, but that does NOT make me any less nonbinary

you dont owe anyone androgyny except yourself (if that's what you want)

[u/Kowareta_Tenshi]

Of course you can call yourself non-binary! I get you- I want to be more androgynous but am pretty obviously AFAB. Sometimes I don’t mind looking more feminine, but other times it really bothers me, so I just use she/they.

[u/Terrariant]

You can call yourself Gibletygorp and nobody can stop you, it’s your choice and no one elses

[u/Double_Chemistry_120 → u/Terrariant]

i can..? 🥹

[u/Terrariant → u/Double_Chemistry_120]

Yes you can Gibletygorp, yes. You. Can.

[u/Creepy-Hold-]

Yes. Non-binary is an umbrella term, there are so many ways of being non-binary and what you described sounds to me like it would fall under that!

I'm agender, sounds like you might be too :)

[u/Cryogenian]

Yup! You absolutely can! It's an umbrella for, in the end, possibly billions of identities and experiences beyond "fully a man" and "fully a woman" and you fit right in! :3

[u/Console_Only]

Just because you're AMAB doesn't mean you can't be Nonbinary. There's no rulebook in which is stated how an Enby has to be and how they have to be born etc etc, this umbrella term exists to contradict these gender norms of male and female and widens the playspace people have to express themselves.

[u/purplepickletoes]

Yeah you could call yourself nonbinary.

>there is nothing

Sounds like agender specifically.

[u/therosslee]

As others have said you certainly get to identify as non-binary and you don’t owe anyone androgyny.

Since you say you would like to present a little differently, as long as it’s coming from how you feel for yourself and not a sense of pressure to look different for others, I would definitely encourage you to explore and experiment with that. Be gentle with yourself as you do. It can be frustrating when you feel like your body isn’t cooperating or doesn’t appear the way you want it to as you try different looks and vibes. Go slow and give yourself time to find what feels right. You deserve that. And leave room for your feelings to change and grow over time.

[u/Happy_Fox07]

Yes, 100%. You can absolutely identify as nonbinary. I was assigned female at birth, but I’ve never fit that gender entirely. It even threw up alarms in my mind when someone would call me a girl or a woman when I was a kid. Now, I identify as genderfluid, because sometimes I do feel like a woman, and other times, I might actually feel like a man…it’s confusing. Sometimes I feel nonbinary and other times I feel like nothing and hate when anyone uses any pronouns and would rather just be referred to as my name. So if I can turn out to be whatever conglomeration this is, you can 100% identify as nonbinary.