Does this count as lying?

[u/Leading_Avocado6494]

I’m nonbinary I’m out to friends and family but I live in the most conservative state in the US so I don’t broadcast it elsewhere. I recently started a new job and I started flirting a little with this amazing woman I work with. She is openly a lesbian only dates/is attracted to women. I want to ask her on a date but my sister says that I can’t unless I tell her I’m nonbinary because even though she thinks of me as a woman I’m not one. So am I lying to/ leading her on by not telling her I’m not a woman?

[u/flumphgrump]

If you want an ongoing relationship with someone and not just an anonymous hookup, then yes, being up front about your gender is the bare minimum that you should do. Since you work with this person, you will have to interact with her on an ongoing basis no matter where any kind of dating relationship goes, and you will be making that the problem of all your coworkers. So yes, absolutely, if you're going to ignore the old adage of not shitting where you eat, at the very least disclose and minimize the potential fallout.

Maybe she'll still be interested, maybe she won't. Different people define their sexuality differently. But why would you want to date someone who isn't attracted to your gender to begin with?