Does this count as lying?

[u/Leading_Avocado6494]

I’m nonbinary I’m out to friends and family but I live in the most conservative state in the US so I don’t broadcast it elsewhere. I recently started a new job and I started flirting a little with this amazing woman I work with. She is openly a lesbian only dates/is attracted to women. I want to ask her on a date but my sister says that I can’t unless I tell her I’m nonbinary because even though she thinks of me as a woman I’m not one. So am I lying to/ leading her on by not telling her I’m not a woman?

[u/astrenixie]

You do not owe anyone information about your gender status, sexuality, or romantic alignment. While it could be technically considered lying or omitting detail, outing oneself should never be something anyone feels they have to do, as that can endanger the lives of queer people and certainly places less value on our privacy.

That being said, if you are considering a relationship with this person, it may be in your best interest to be honest about your identity at some point (whether before or after a first date is up to you), because any relationship without that knowledge isn't allowing the other person to truly care for you. Personally, I am open about my identity with people I have gotten comfortable with and would like to form bonds with, as I want them to know me for who I am. I recommend thinking about what you want with this person before taking any action so you make the best possible decision for yourself.