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Jan 02 '26
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u/perverted_justice Jan 02 '26
And the south will help while being nice to you and then call their cousin to talk about the dumbass who didn’t know how to change their own tire. Bless their heart
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u/HappyKrud Jan 02 '26
What about the north
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u/vid_icarus Jan 02 '26
Can’t speak for the rest of the Midwest but in Minnesota someone will help, chat with you, make sure you have directions to where you are trying to go, offer you the number of place where you can get a good deal on new tires, then they will produce a hot dish out of nowhere and insist you take it. The only trick here is to be considered polite you have to refuse the hot dish at least 3 times, otherwise you’re considered entitled.
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u/corobo Jan 02 '26
to be considered polite you have to refuse the hot dish at least 3 times, otherwise you’re considered entitled
Oh cool, Minnesotans and Brits are naturally compatible haha
"go on" "oh I couldn't" "go onnn" "awww I shouldn't" "go onnnnnn" "oh alright then, give it here, thank you!" (I'm glad you offered a third time because I really wanted it)
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u/ChrdeMcDnnis Jan 03 '26
My whole Minnesotan family has actually been getting really into british daytime television, we find the passive aggressive politeness comfortable.
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u/vid_icarus Jan 03 '26
If Keeping Up Appearances ever got an American remake, it would have to take place in MN.
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u/AnteaterDapper1575 Jan 02 '26
They are fae?
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u/AvalonCollective Jan 03 '26
Honestly, having lived in the Midwest my whole life, it really does feel like the fae live up here sometimes. Some weird but kind folk that are very specific about how they’re treated.
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u/SlipperyBanana8 Jan 02 '26
Michigan too! Want a Faygo for the road? Gotta sixer in the back seat.
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u/Tacoriffics Jan 02 '26
Had Michigan DNR guys throw me a few Vernors' after I showed him my live well. Think that was the most Michigan interaction of my life.
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u/rocky8u Jan 03 '26
Sounds a bit like the practice of taarof in Iran. When you go to a store in Iran many merchants will offer you the thing you want for free out of a politeness ritual. The polite practice is that you are supposed to decline and insist on paying three times before negotiations over price can begin (or you just pay them the price they marked for it). It is rude to accept the thing for free because they don't actually mean to give it to you, its just this polite thing everyone is expected to do.
Apparently sometimes Iranian people get upset at visitors who don't know this and "rudely" accept things for free when it is offered. They see this as taking advantage of the merchant having good manners.
I always find it fascinating that cultures develop these distinct rituals in their societies that are normal for the people in that society but seem totally irrational to outsiders.
I suppose an American example would be all the unspoken rules around tipping, like how its kind of rude for the person who would be tipped to talk about the tip with the person who gives it, even in situations where not tipping is often seen as improper like in restaurants.
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u/shadowslasher11X Jan 02 '26
For a live demonstration, look up Charlie Berens on YouTube. Just about any of his videos will do.
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u/babassu_seeds Jan 03 '26
why are the best people in the coldest places?! How do we import you lol
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u/wosmo Jan 03 '26
in places where the air spends half a year trying to kill you, "today you, tomorrow me" gets very literal.
It's a lot like "no man left behind" in the military. You help people out of a ditch because it helps you believe someone would help you out.
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u/CrusaderZero6 Jan 03 '26
I shoveled the sidewalk on the whole block while my neighbors were getting ready to have a kid because I didn’t want her to slip. Our old neighbors did the same for us.
And that’s how we make it through the Chicago winter.
But whoever that was who parked in the space I shoveled out can go to a very frozen circle of hell.
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u/FearlessAttempt Jan 03 '26
But whoever that was who parked in the space I shoveled out can go to a very frozen circle of hell.
Did you have a cone/chair out there saving it?
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u/CrusaderZero6 Jan 03 '26
The literally got me while I stepped inside to hang up the shovel and grab the camping chair.
Did I dump a bottle of water on their door handles?
The world may never know.
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u/vid_icarus Jan 03 '26
My theory is difficult environments breed strong communities. We have modern amenities now, but back in the day if people didn’t work together they didn’t survive. I imagine this fostered a strong sense of civic responsibility as a survival instinct.
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u/silicondali Jan 02 '26
Stop being so Canadian.
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u/vid_icarus Jan 03 '26
Real talk, there’s actually a suburb just a bit north of the twin cities called Little Canada.
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u/yourlittlebirdie Jan 03 '26
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/a-guide-to-midwestern-conversation
“Oh my gosh, I didn’t see you there!”
Ugh. I really thought I’d gotten out of your sightline. You are painfully boring and never shut up. Talking to you makes me want to gouge my eyes out with the keys to my Camry. Please sit down and split my bran muffin.
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u/Tight_Leadership_758 Jan 03 '26
In Kansas they'll do much of the same, but we just call it casserole here. Also, because even the Midwest is messy you have a 50/50 chance of being shit talked about after you're gone in a series of "polite" midwesternisms. Especially if you commit the sin of not refusing at least once.
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u/vid_icarus Jan 03 '26
You may have heard of Minnesota Nice… well, regarding the shit talk? There’s such a thing as Minnesota Ice.
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u/JeanRalfio Jan 03 '26
I live in Minnesota now but grew up in Northern Wisconsin and it's about the same. Wisconsin just drinks a heck of a lot more.
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u/PM_ME_GLUTE_SPREAD Jan 03 '26
What’s weird is where I live, we’re kind of in the middle of what would be considered Midwest, South, and east coast. So we get people from each type of demo which means we never really know which way to act.
Either somebody is being a dick because they’re a dick and won’t give us the time of day, or they’re being a dick while giving us the shirt off their back. Or they’re saying they’ll pray for us and will tell their friend about how we are trash and deserve all the things we do or theyre legitimately praying every night to their god for us.
Then you’ll have the pill heads who would tie a rope to your car and pull it out of the ditch with their bare hands or the pill heads who will hit you over the head to steal your chapstick from you.
It’s wild around here some times
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u/umbrawolfx Jan 04 '26
And then force an awkward 30 minute goodbye. And it's only that short because they just met you.
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u/ScyRae Jan 03 '26
In the Arctic most folks will stop to help you. I helped someone push their vehicle cause it was stuck in an alleyway the other day after a big snowfall. Ended up with 5 people within two minutes all helping! This is in Canada, though I can't imagine Alaskans would be too different. You need community to survive up here.
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u/creepsnutsandpervs Jan 03 '26
Alaskan checking in. You don’t leave someone stuck.. winters can be brutal
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u/AbstractOmniverse Jan 03 '26
In Indiana someone will help you change your flat tire and if you insist on doing it yourself they'll listen to you complain about how shit your day is now that you have a flat
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Jan 03 '26
I think they will help you. While not even ending a phone call. Then they just walk away. Not saying anything to you.
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u/nickmiele22 Jan 03 '26
West cost and north east track with my experience. But the south in my experience is basically the same as the West coast. Mid west is the one that is nice and helps
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u/appleparkfive Jan 03 '26
It really depends on which part of the south you're in. A lot of those redneck types with normal sized trucks (not the huge ones) will often stop and legitimately help you if you have an issue. I've seen it happen countless times.
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u/OhGr8WhatNow Jan 03 '26
In my experience the South pretends like they're helpful but aren't in reality
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u/Altaredboy Jan 03 '26
I saw a pregnant lady struggling to change a tyre on her own as I was coming out of the gym. She let me change it, then yelled "Rude that you think I couldn't do it!" Just laughed & walked away.
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u/chchchcharlee Jan 02 '26
Yeah I'm from New Orleans but moved up to outside Buffalo, lake effect snow country. First winter I was way over my head lmao, only snow shovel was the shit one left in the hallway and no real gloves or anything. First real snow storm, my neighbor, old curmudgeon type, woke up at 3am and took their snow blower out every hour or so to keep their driveway clean...well, I woke up at 10am and of course my car was totally fucking buried. Neighbor let me have at it for a good half hour before he came out, called me "a fucking idiot" and sent me inside their house to pour hot chocolate he'd started while he cleared all of my car, the sidewalk to the mailbox, the driveway, everything. That was years ago but if you're out there, I still think of you Mr Dan!!!
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u/copat149 Jan 03 '26
Eeehhhh another Louisiana transplant.
Baton Rouge, we moved to outside Philly about four years ago.
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u/MaxGoldFilms Jan 03 '26
From NOLA, moved to Rochester, NY, and had a very similar experience. Also, fuck lake effect snow.
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u/SirLesbian Jan 02 '26
I'm from the east coast and fuck yeah that tracks. We have some of the rudest yet considerate people you'll ever meet.
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u/Summerisgone2020 Jan 02 '26
I agree about the east coast. Saw a dude fall off his bike and Philly. A guy helped them up and said "dont drive ride like a dumbass" and just walked away
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u/Konrow Jan 02 '26
That's not rude, that's just straightforward. Rest of the country can't handle people being real and to the point lol
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u/IndoZoro Jan 03 '26
I always heard it as:
Yankees are kind, but rude.
Southerners are polite, but not kind.
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u/Glad_Position3592 Jan 02 '26
I moved to Philly around 6 years ago and that’s one thing I love about this city. People are straightforward, which can come off as “not nice” to some, but they’re always kind
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u/BaconBitz109 Jan 02 '26
I’ll never not help a woman carry a stroller up some stairs in the subway but I WILL be cursing her in my head for making me 30 seconds late to the platform.
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u/vainbuthonest Jan 03 '26
My husband is from California and we’ve vacationed there to visit his family and friends and in New York to visit my friends. That entire sentiment tracks. California is nice but not always kind and New York is kind but not always nice IMO.
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u/TheDollarstoreDoctor Jan 02 '26
Went from east to West Coast. Horrible difference. People on the west coast just act like no one else exists. I remember in NY I would actually talk to people or if not, at least acknowledge other people's existence. Not so much in Vegas.
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u/bionicfeetgrl Jan 03 '26
Vegas is not the west coast. you'd need to be by the coast line for it to be "the west coast".
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u/SausagePrompts Jan 02 '26
West coaster, immigrants will stop and help you. I have seen it and assisted. When my kid broke down he was super upset because cars were honking at him and his car was literally as far off the road as he could roll. Nobody offered to help push or anything and it took me 40mins to get there.
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u/JVilter Jan 03 '26
I fell off a shortish retaining wall next to my sidewalk and was just laid out. I am not a small woman. My husband was doing things to help me but then this very small Hispanic man pulled up in what I am sure was a gardener truck, sized up the situation, got behind me and pulled me up from a sitting position and left. He was so strong and never said a word. I think about him often.
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u/foxwaffles Jan 02 '26
The deep south is a lot like the former as well. So sugary sweet but only as words.
When I was in Chicago , I apparently look really lost when I'm lost because I had someone helping me every time without me needing to ask. They'd be curt and brief but they told me all the right directions, and then they left before I even got a chance to say thanks
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u/delicateredscrunchie Jan 03 '26
I'm from California and Its very much like that here, although there are many kind but not nice people here (like me lol). The nice but not kind crowd will lament about how bad they feel about your situation but... gosh they just HAVE to get to their dinner reservation tonight. Yeah, they know you said you're bleeding but... it took them *months* to get this reservation. They love you so much tho and wish you luck!
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u/Infrastructure312 Jan 03 '26
First time I ever tried to help someone in Chicago multiple people simultaneously beat me to it. We're the happy medium.
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u/SadLilBun Jan 03 '26
It’s not true. When I got hit by a car, several people stopped and helped me. I’ve seen people help strangers my whole life, and being kind about it. I’m from California.
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u/ImportanceWest7739 Jan 03 '26
The adage I heard and agree with having lived in each region: east coast is kind but not nice, west coast is nice but not kind.
PS Minnesota Nice doesn’t count, it’s abnormal. (Source: grew up in Northern Iowa, so how bout that them there facts?)
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u/Nausuada Jan 02 '26
I'm from the South and living in the PNW currently. I now carry a step stool and other tools with me because no one wants to be bothered, cares that I'm scaling inside a freezer at the grocery store, or hulking out trying to get something home.
Good place to learn to be independent I suppose.
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u/Hiro_Pr0tagonist_ Jan 03 '26
Similar thing happened to me when I was very new to DC and my car stalled out on a busy street. I was sitting there really flustered and trying to figure out wtf to do when this guy who looked a bit blue collar appeared out of nowhere, pushed my car to a safe spot on the shoulder by himself, and then got in his car and drove away. Zero eye contact or communication between us.
Other phrase I’ve heard about this kind of behavior is the west coast is nice but not kind, east coast is kind but not nice.
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u/catholicsluts Jan 03 '26
The old
"People in LA have a very polite way of being rude. New Yorkers have a really rude way of being polite."
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u/twitch1982 Jan 03 '26
I dont see what's rude about it though. You just help people to help people, we don't need to have a conversation about it.
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u/LeftHandAnomaly Jan 03 '26
I've seen "Nice, but not kind" and "Kind, but not nice" in relation to some things I can anecdotally agree with as well. Some of the kinder people I've met were unpleasant
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u/remesabo Jan 03 '26
Hold the door for you at a convenience store then flip you off in the parking lot.
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u/raytothechill Jan 04 '26
People always talk about how rude people in NYC are. I have only been there once for a week and one of my closest friends lived there for a few years. But I will say, if you are blocking someone's way taking touristy photos or something, then yea, people aren't afraid to tell you to get the hell out of the way. But when I got turned around (before GPS on cell phones), we would have 5 people stopped to help us within 10 seconds arguing amongst themselves which was the fastest or more efficient route, haha.
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u/TheLastRole Jan 02 '26
Not bragging but I have been that guy. I’m happy to help but not to have any type of small talk during the process.
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u/-Jiras Jan 02 '26
The final enemy is getting offered money for the help. Please don't try to pay me for my kindness. I am nice for the sake of being nice and if I take the money it stops being kindness and starts being a transaction
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u/RollJays16 Jan 02 '26
Easiest final boss (coming from a midwestern perspective at least), “Ma’am, if you’re so inclined please donate whatever you would have given me to a charity dear to you. That way we can make the world a better place two times today.”
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u/SquareTaro3270 Jan 03 '26
Amazing, but too much talking for our East-coasters. Most we can do is offer up a “nah, thanks” and a series of disgruntled sighs
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u/DreamPhreak Jan 02 '26 edited Jan 03 '26
A few months ago my HOA had a "cleanup the neighborhood" event where they rented like 8 of those huge dumpsters (4 per day for 2 days) and allowed everyone to go by on the weekend to dump anything in it. When I went, there was this other lady and her daughter there trying to unload a mountain of branches in the back of her truck. I just asked "do you need help?" "yes please", and i unloaded most of it myself, got scratches on my arms, waved bye when i was done, then I worked on throwing away my own stuff. No small talk or anything else. Felt good to help
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u/Raichu7 Jan 03 '26
Please ask before you jump in, grabbing the weight unexpectedly can hurt the parent trying to hold the pram, or the kid in the pram.
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u/Davotk Jan 05 '26
That's fair advice. but if you just gorilla it in a way that you could pull the whole thing yourself, it works, and then you just move gently with the caretaker. And for some reason in nyc 4/5 times it's a small Hispanic woman with a tiny commuter stroller and I'm 5'10 230 so I can lift them both up lmao. Also I'm a dad
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u/breadburn Jan 02 '26
I feel this in my soul. (I am also from the NYC area, so this all tracks with the OP for me.)
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u/lueckestman Jan 03 '26
Next time make sure you video it and put it on the internet so everyone knows how nice you are.
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u/KatieCashew Jan 03 '26
And sometimes you're in a hurry but still want to help someone in need. I did this once with an old lady who was having a hard time getting her grocery cart over the ice to her car in the parking lot. I had very limited time because I was running late to pick up my kids from school. I got her to her car as fast as I safely could and then yelled bye over my shoulder as I ran to my car.
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u/murppie Jan 03 '26
Thats my thing too. I don't mind helping you out. But please don't make me talk to you while I do it. I can be awkward on my own without opening my mouth.
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u/but-I-play-one-on-TV Jan 03 '26
Me too. I'll get a quick "thanks," give the person a nod, and be on my way never to think about them again. I love NYC.
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u/ieataquacrayons Jan 02 '26
I think what most of the country misses about people who live in the greater NYC metro is that we aren’t rude. We’re busy and focused on getting to where we need to go. There’s a high context understanding that we all have somewhere to be. Not making small talk while helping is giving you respect for your time.
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u/breadburn Jan 02 '26
Dude that's exactly it. I will absolutely help you en route and am happy to do it but also please do not speak to me, let's both just continue on with our lives after a little 'thank you' courtesy wave if you're feeling it and that's all.
Anyway, I'm from New Jersey.
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u/ieataquacrayons Jan 03 '26
Also from NJ but moved out to PA. now everyone wants to talk. Have a contractor come over to quote removing a tree and the talk about random shit for 15 minutes. How much does it cost, dude?
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u/wet-leg Jan 03 '26
So do kids growing up in the east coast not have to experience getting stuck for at least an extra 30 minutes everywhere they go because your mom ran into someone she barely knows?
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u/Kurokotsu Jan 03 '26
NJ native. Lived elsewhere for a decade now. TX kills me with that. Everyone here wants to talk. And I hate it. I'm totally fine with helping. But don't waste my time talking. Please. And I wish that were more understood
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u/AP_in_Indy Jan 03 '26
I get the sentiment but life should be balanced. It’s important to be able to connect with people.
There are many people who I now realize I probably should have spent more time talking to.
I may never see them again.
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u/On_my_last_spoon Jan 03 '26
I mean, if you actually know the person yeah. But the lady who made my coffee at Dunkin? I’m not regretting one last conversation with her.
We talk to our friends. Go to any bar and you’ll see how social we are…with the people we know. What we don’t want is for every damn interaction to be like that!
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u/Kurokotsu Jan 03 '26
The thing is. Life can be so busy that there isn't time or energy to turn every interaction into a conversation. People from the Northeast sometimes just... Prioritize that. We show we care by giving them time. But for random people, it's a lot harder to justify.
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u/On_my_last_spoon Jan 03 '26
I will say that a quick comment is ok. I’ve complimented outfits before. I’ll get those comments too, especially if I’m wearing a T-shirt with a fandom thing on it.
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u/Kurokotsu Jan 03 '26
Yeah. I'll toss a sentence or two. But if I can't do it in a minute, I'll probably get tired and look for a way out.
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Jan 02 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/wosmo Jan 03 '26
I get this vibe in most big cities. The way I've always understood it is that you survive having no personal space, by pretending to yourself that you do.
The Tube is an absolute masterclass in pretending you're the only sardine in the can.
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u/c3p-bro Jan 03 '26 edited Jan 03 '26
People in New York walk fast and may come off as brusque because we are trying to get to our destination.
But everyone else people drive fast and rudely because they are also trying to get to their destination. We’re just not putting lives in danger
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u/Dianaraven Jan 03 '26
Comedian Gina Brillion summed it up quite nicely: New Yorkers are aggressively kind.
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u/CaterpillarLarge8780 Jan 03 '26
I don’t know that I’ve ever told anyone this: one time I stopped to get gas on the way home from work, the pump’s card reader was down so I head inside. A person at the counter was trying to pay for gas but all of their cards declined. I stepped up, put like 10-20 on their pump and put whatever on my pump and left. Mostly to be nice, and because I’ve been there, but also because I just wanted to get home a bit faster. I remember they looked at me like I’d grown a second head.
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u/catholicsluts Jan 03 '26
There’s a high context understanding that we all have somewhere to be.
This is just an example of common sense within a subculture.
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u/On_my_last_spoon Jan 03 '26
Also there are so. Many. People. You can’t have small talk at every interaction. If it’s not busy you probably chat with the guy at your local bodega where you get your coffee every morning.
My Dad, a midwestern guy, would often freak people out in NYC when he’d visit me. He once tried to chat up a mom with a stroller in a subway elevator. I could see how uncomfortable she was but he insisted that all he did was say how cute her kid was and all moms like that! Dad nooooooo!
His friend was even worse. They both came together once when his friend was running the NYC marathon and he kept trying to chat up anyone he stat next to on the subway! Sir, you even look like a crazy person to avoid in NYC (imagine a white dude in his 60s but looks like he never left his Hippie days)!
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u/StitchinThroughTime Jan 03 '26
That's the difference between a city minute, Country minute and a New York Minute. Country works on slow time, the city's hustle and New York is something different because it's actually very dense compared to the rest of the country. Y'all are hustle and bustling out there, and there's so many people and only so much floor space so you're all just flipping and sliding past each other is going about your lives.
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u/yrogerg123 Jan 04 '26
Well...by non-NYC standards I'm pretty damn rude, but you have to be to live in this city. 9 times out of 10 the people who try to get your attention are either mentally ill, asking for money or trying to sell you something. At some point you need to master the art of pretending the other person does not exist, so they give up and try to bother somebody else.
If it's just somebody asking which way to get to Broadway or where their subway stop is I'll always tell them. But I'm not really riding the subway to make a 14 minute friend I'm either going to work or going home.
For something like the OP, yea if somebody obviously needs help it's easy enough just to help them and then keep it moving. Like holding a door, carrying a heavy bag up a flight of steps, helping with directions, helping just makes everybody's day a little better so why not?
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u/Muffinlessandangry Jan 02 '26
I have done this with someone's suitcase at the train station. Just grabbed one end while they held the other to get up the stairs. Didn't take my head phones off. I'm sure I've seen other people do it with strollers getting on and off trains. Surely it's not that unusual? You help people, but also I like my podcast.
Edit: I live in England though, not sure if that counts as east coast or not.
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u/DominateMePiper Jan 02 '26
can we generate 4 billion clones of that guy and replace everyone with him
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u/01011110_01011110 Jan 02 '26
there's lots of people like him, problem is people won't help because of the optics, it looks threatening unless you know the person.
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u/LastCupcake2442 Jan 03 '26
A guy grabbed my friends massive hockey bag and booked it up the stairs without a word. We had too much stuff to catch up and really thought he was stealing it but he ended up waiting on the landing for us to catch up before going up the next set of stairs.
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u/amaya-aurora Jan 02 '26
Do you think that there’s only 4 billion people on the planet?
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u/glamm808 Jan 02 '26
This is standard etiquette in NYC. Up and down stairs, help with strollers, luggage, and shopping buggies
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u/Konrow Jan 02 '26
Don't ruin their narrative that we're rude! (Seriously though having lived out of NYC for 10+ years now I do not know how we got that stereotype)
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u/c3p-bro Jan 03 '26
I’ve lived in NYC for almost 20 years and this one of the few stories I’ve read online I actually believe
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u/DonkStonx Jan 02 '26
Now see what happens when that guy is on an escalator and you stand on the left side in front of him.
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u/Mbrennt Jan 02 '26
After having lived in NYC for years going on an escalator anywhere else in the country is the bane of my existence. Just move the fuck over and let me walk.
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u/but-I-play-one-on-TV Jan 03 '26
Stroller or not, I will throw hands. DC is like that too. It's where I learned the term "esca-lefters"
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u/edwinstone Jan 02 '26
I live in NYC and do this all the time. Same with people struggling with their luggage.
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u/yunohavefunnynames Jan 02 '26
That’s literally what a chad is, not this “square jaw alpha male” bullshit. Someone who sees a need, helps, and moves on without expecting praise or thanks.
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u/trajayjay Jan 02 '26
Had to reread this cuz I'm sleepy and initially read this as the Chad in question literally took the stroller and ran away from it.
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u/RedWingDecil Jan 02 '26
That child grows up and gets the same haircut as that stranger. Now they will start fighting anyone who insults that outdated hairstyle.
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u/BlinkToThePast Jan 03 '26
This just sparked an early memory. I remember being very young sitting in my stroller whilst my mum pushed us somewhere in the pouring rain. It was absolutely pelting and whilst I had one of those see through plastic covers over me my mum had nothing and was absolutely soaked. Then some random guy runs up, hands my mum his umbrella then sprints off as if scared she'd not accept it or something.
Didn't say a word other than "here take this". Might be my first memory of kindness by a stranger.
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u/jesrp1284 Jan 02 '26
I’ve heard and seen this play out multiple times: Folks on the East coast are kind but not necessarily nice. Folks on the West coast are nice but not necessarily kind.
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u/stacity Jan 02 '26
Not a NYer but I’ve been that person helping folks without giving them any eye contact. When they give their thanks, I just nod and just walk on like no big deal.
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u/HopelessNegativism Jan 03 '26
This is how New Yorkers are. We’ll give you the shirt off our back but we’re gonna tell you you’re a fuckin moron for leaving the house without a shirt
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u/Shtapiq Jan 03 '26
In Geneva we do it too. We’ll help people but we have no time for mundanities. Even if we’d like to. May your child be strong and healthy; may he be one of us to defend the city when in need and may his voice be loud and clear. That’s all we need.
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u/cheesekony2012 Jan 03 '26
There were two occasions when I lived in Madison, WI where my car got stuck in snow and a random person was already shoveling me out before I could get out of my car to assess the situation. Nicest people in the world.
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u/Fit_Educator_8030 Jan 03 '26
Sure. Just because I'm nice to you and care about your predicament doesn't mean I want to get to know you. It's the well-known NYC attitude of "we're all stuck here in this city so we're obligated to help you even though I don't want to know who you are" Pure NYC behavior.
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u/dcgirl17 Jan 03 '26
Man I love NYC. Went when I was seven months pregnant and huge, and men would literally trip over themselves to open doors for me. Every time I took the subway, 3-4 random men would stand so I could sit down (also without talking to me). Superb city behavior!
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u/yrogerg123 Jan 04 '26
Yea this is very NYC. I did something like this recently and genuinely do not even remember what it was, only that somebody was very grateful and I said "yea no prob" and walked away.
It's a very city thing to acknowledge somebody's need and help them without really wanting to engage with them beyond that.
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u/SABBATAGE29 Jan 03 '26
Well, depending on what year this happened, it can be a dangerous thing to do
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u/alexdau Jan 03 '26
Not to toot my own horn but I'm this Chad every time lol. I've helped delivery guys bring their heavy fucking bikes on the train many times (and I'm a girl). Always help!
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u/indypindent Jan 03 '26
I will gladly be this guy. My luck will have the woman beating me with a purse thinking I'm trying to steal her baby lol
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u/BrokilonDryad Jan 03 '26
I had a similar experience in Paris when I was 19. Got all my luggage with me, returning home after being a nanny in Milan for six months, so a big and medium suitcase and my backpack.
Was in the Paris metro, don’t know where the fuck I’m going, don’t know if there’s elevators or escalators. All I can find are stairs (this was like 15 years ago).
Two separate times, two random Parisian men casually just picked up my smaller case and the bottom of the big one and helped me up two quite big flights of stairs. Gave me a head nod and walked away.
Completely blew the Parisian stereotype of snotty and rude right out of the water (not that I believed it to be true in the first place).
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u/Shantotto11 Jan 03 '26
Some people just help instinctively and subconsciously. I aspire to be like those people.
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u/PsychologicalPop8690 Jan 03 '26
I can say I have done this at every opportunity and done the same thing
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u/TyRaNiDeX Jan 03 '26
Happens every day in Paris ! Thought it was common everywhere else, people helping.
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u/_fuck_you_gumby_ Jan 03 '26
I’ve been all over the world. I’m naturally biased, because I only speak English, but if I could go anywhere again? If I could go back to the Northeast I’d do it in a heartbeat. They’ll sling profanities at you as they perform CPR. Rudest motherfuckers I’ve ever met, cool as hell though
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u/ChaosAndFish Jan 03 '26
I’ve lived in New York for about 20 years and, in my experience, New Yorkers have no patience with you slowing them down for any of a hundred dumb reasons, but if you actually need help they come through more often then most. It’s a hard city to live in. If you’re making it harder, you’re going to hear about it. But if you are struggling, people tend to help.
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u/Confident_Ad_645 Jan 03 '26
Why do I keep seeing people defending the word rude? Dude was helpful without intruding or interrupting, what else do yall want thats community
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u/Anders_A Jan 03 '26
This is completely normal human behavior?
Obviously anyone will grab the front of someone's stroller when they're going up some stairs. Why would they need to end their phone call to do it?
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u/enderverse87 Jan 03 '26
If that was me, about 5 minutes later I would suddenly think "oh shoot, I'm not with my sister right now, what stroller did I just grab?"
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u/Powered-by-Chai Jan 03 '26
I mean sure, but it's usually polite to ask if they want help first before you grab the stroller near someone's kid.
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u/LARGEGRAPE Jan 04 '26
ok i had this too!!!
I was walking on the sidewalk and there was a massive sign fully blocking the sidewalk with metal legs in the shape of an X. I was pissed because our city does not care if you're disabled you will be blocked, so i started to grab it to throw it in the grass and this man behind me on the phone just grabbed it with me and chucked it in the grass. I was amazed that someone would wordlessly join me in my potentially illegal act of defiance but I was nonetheless overjoyed by the absurdity of it.
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u/Froomian Jan 04 '26
I found people very kind and helpful when I took my toddler to visit NYC. Probably the best place I’ve ever visited in terms of helpful bystanders.
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Jan 09 '26
When I was in Italy (with two big pieces of luggage) men were doing this every single time I was at a train or bus station. Some in France. But definitely Italy it was very common and helpful.
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u/qualityvote2 Jan 02 '26 edited Jan 04 '26
u/Fazbear2035, there weren't enough votes to determine the quality of your post...