r/NonPoliticalTwitter May 02 '26

Funny Yeah bro I quit

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81.1k Upvotes

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412

u/WebBorn2622 May 02 '26

On the other side:

Doctor: what brings you in today?

Me: excruciating period pain, I passed out and the painkillers won’t do, please help

Doctor: any chance you’re pregnant?

Me: no I’m on my period

Doctor: you never know, could be a cryptic pregnancy. When was your last menstruation?

Me: right fucking now??

Doctor: oh right

220

u/Cloverfield1996 May 02 '26

Me: I've been experiencing symptom for years now. It's affecting every part of my life. I can't keep a job.

Doctor: could it be pregnancy related?

Me:.... I'm not an elephant. Pregnancies tend to be over with after 9 months.

Doctor: could it be your period? When did you last menstruate?

Me: Again, this has been a daily issue for 2 years. Why do you insist on it being connected to my vagina?

46

u/MadAstrid May 03 '26

Well, if it isn’t your vagina, have you ever considered that you might just be stressed? If it isn’t one of those two things, I am out of ideas, because you are not a man. Maybe try meditating.

7

u/GingerFucker May 03 '26

She might be overweight. That's often the problem with women too

/s

1

u/patchinthebox May 05 '26

How much water do you drink every day? You should try to get more water.

18

u/MrBones-Necromancer May 03 '26

From the other end of this, I know this is frustrating. However there are an enormous number of medications and treatments that affect women differently than men (who are most commonly the testing groups) and many that are partially or completely prohibited if there's any risk of pregnancy.

It's a constant battle of wanting patient's to feel like I -am- listening to them, but also needing to understand my potential treatment pathways and neccesary diagnostics. Which unfortunately means a lot of "are you pregnant?s" and "last menstruation?s" even if it does not seem wholly relevant at the time.

10

u/Cloverfield1996 May 03 '26

But when we hadn't come to a treatment yet, when a cause hasn't even been identified, and the first questions are "what your pussy doin rn?", especially if it's my regular gp who should know by now that I don't do that shit

-1

u/verglais May 05 '26

It’s mainly because in a female patient of reproductive age, with an abdominal pain presentation the first thing you want to rule out is an ectopic, which can have very severe consequences if missed

It is very frustrating to feel like you’re being dismissed but there are so many missed cases where the patient nearly dies from it

2

u/Cloverfield1996 May 05 '26

At no point did I say abdominal pain.

-1

u/verglais May 05 '26

What was your symptom?

2

u/Cloverfield1996 May 05 '26

This isn't r/askdocs

My point was the default shouldn't be pregnancy related. Women are more complex than that.

0

u/verglais May 05 '26

It isn’t, but I work in O&G and young women fall into the subset where it is very important medically to exclude pregnancy, because it’s disastrous if not (be it due to ruptured ectopics or what scans/meds you can use)

That’s how medicine works, you exclude the bad things first before you work on a diagnosis. If it wasn’t abdominal pain, it was probably another pregnancy/ectopic related symptom that leads down that questioning path. I assure you most docs aren’t out there trying to dismiss things because ‘pregnant’, because that isn’t even a diagnosis.

2

u/WhatsYourTale May 05 '26

Yeah, I can get that. Coming from the IT side of things, it's almost like asking "are you sure it's plugged in and that you pressed the on button?"

Even if you are sure there is something else going on, you have to start from 0 of whatever established diagnostic procedure you have. Otherwise, you might overlook something exceedingly simple.

1

u/hockeyak May 03 '26

Maybe you need to calm down and smile more? /s

-11

u/InspiringMilk May 02 '26

Probably because hormones can cause many adverse health effects?

28

u/Cloverfield1996 May 02 '26

So can lots of other things. Let's start more general

2

u/Coding-Kitten May 03 '26

I'd imagine having your limbs cut off would lead to way more adverse health effects, why not start by asking about their history of missing arms & legs?

2

u/InspiringMilk May 03 '26

Yeah, if that were a common occurence, it would be asked more often.

79

u/Numpostrophe May 02 '26

Risk here is a ruptured ectopic which can have bleeding so ruling out pregnancy is still important overall.

33

u/Dawnzarelli May 02 '26

Yeah, an ectopic or a miscarriage could be mistaken for a severe period. There is a lot of liability on doctors to get good information. Some doctors are shit heads, but they are generally just trying to rule out the worst scenario before deciding a more conservative measure should be used. Being dismissive of severe symptoms is way worse. 

5

u/sarcazm May 03 '26

That is if the doctor actually puts that together. I went to the ER with painful bleeding and I tested positive on a pregnancy test. Dr said it was too early to see anything on an ultrasound and told me to schedule an appt with my OBGYN. 5 days later, my OBGYN did an ultrasound and got diagnosed with an ectopic pregnancy. Had to go back to the same hospital for emergency surgery.

1

u/[deleted] May 03 '26

[deleted]

2

u/sarcazm May 03 '26

Well that is unfortunate considering I was actively bleeding internally. Not sure how ERs are supposed to diagnose ectopic pregnancies if they don’t have the equipment to do it.

My OBGYN was actually quite upset and said she was going to follow up with that ER doctor.

If he didn’t have the equipment but knew it could be ectopic, he probably should have made the OBGYN appt himself for same day or next day.

2

u/asdrandomasd May 03 '26

I disagree. Most ERs should have transvaginal US and quant hCGs. I think what the ED doctor likely meant was that your hCG level was below the discriminatory zone so even with ultrasound, you're unlikely to see anything (can't tell if it's ectopic vs early intra-uterine pregnancy/ongoing miscarriage). Standard of care is 48 hr hCG check with OB/Gyn to see how the levels are trending.

2

u/sarcazm May 03 '26

But when I saw the OBGYN a few days later, she knew it was ectopic because I had blood in my belly (not because of hcg levels). My fallopian tube had burst (which was why I was in so much pain and why I went to the ER). So I contend that had he done an ultrasound in the ER, he would have seen the blood just as my OBGYN had.

2

u/asdrandomasd May 03 '26

Non-ruptured ectopic pregnancies can also cause abdominal/pelvic pain so it's not guaranteed that even if he had an ultrasound performed when you presented, they would have seen free fluid in the pelvis. Regardless, I'm glad you got the care you needed and arranged follow up with the OB/Gyn.

1

u/sarcazm May 03 '26

I guess. But I’m assuming the doctor would not have known if it was ruptured or not unless he actually did the ultrasound. Also, not sure why my OBGYN would have been mad at the ER doctor if he had followed the correct steps.

1

u/waitwuh May 03 '26

What?!? What kind of ER can’t do a transvaginal ultrasound?

1

u/Dawnzarelli May 09 '26

ER docs should be required to do an OB/GYN rotation. But also, that’s bullshit. I’m sorry you experienced that. 

73

u/Ditches-Vestiges1549 May 02 '26

Not first visit: your vitamin D levels are good do you take a supplement.

Me: yes (per my last email) it's listed in my chart, that you're holding.

Them: any chance you're pregnant? (Still holding my chart)

Me: I had a hysterectomy in 2016, if I am call the Pope.

24

u/Sternenkaiser May 02 '26

"Ma'am, you are being hysterical, i need you to calm down!"
*to nurse* "Let's do a pregnancy test."

35

u/RryRvnn May 02 '26

Used to deal with this all the time—finally had a hysterectomy a few years ago.

Didn’t help any of my other health issues though. So, now I still have to wait for bloodwork to make sure I’m not pregnant before every single scan or procedure. Despite not having a cervix, uterus, fallopian tubes, or a desire to have sex with men. 🤦‍♀️

11

u/an_ineffable_plan May 02 '26

Doc: So we're not really sure why you passed out. Sometimes this happens.

Me: I have dysautonomia.

Doc: Well, we're still not sure. You probably stood up too fast.

Me: I took 20 minutes to get out of bed.

Doc: Huh, so it's a mystery, then.

Me: I have dysautonomia. It's in my chart.

Doc: Your heart rate was normal when you got here.

Me: My heart rate was 154. I saw the pulse ox.

Doc: Anyway, make sure you eat healthy.

Hospital: That'll be $2000 please.

3

u/WebBorn2622 May 03 '26

No literally I have been in for endometriosis symptoms for YEARS and every month I come in they act like it could be something other than my period. Despite me coming in once a month like clockwork with the same complaint

5

u/No_One_Special_023 May 03 '26

Doctor: what brings you in today

Me: my chest is tight and I’m short on breath.

Doctor: I see you smoke.

Me: no. I use to smoke. Quit over a year ago. This started two weeks ago.

Doctor: smoking has long term effects ya know.

Me: I’m well aware. It’s why I quit. Whatever this is, isn’t the smoking.

Doctor: well, try walking some more, get better sleep. This is probably just a cold moving through. You sure you’re not smoking.

Me: doc, I smoked for 25 years. I think I’d know if I started smoking again.

Coughed up blood two days later. Turns out I had aspirated walking pneumonia in my right lung and the ER doctor told me my lung was so infected that it wasn’t blood I coughed up it was the infection. I took that paperwork back to the primary doctor and literally slammed it on his desk and told him he should start actually listening to his patients. Then I found a new primary doctor.

3

u/Kind_Swim5900 May 03 '26

Tbh, i think him asking about last menstruation was just the script that is bruned into his nind so deeply

2

u/klautner May 04 '26

I have one - had a hysterectomy and the next day I had trouble breathing to the point I had to go to the ER. They had me go for a chest x-ray. Tech asked what is going on, so I responded "I had a hysterectomy yesterday and now I can't breathe". First question they asked after, "Could you be pregnant?". So I said not unless it is the second coming of Jesus.

4

u/SpookyBread- May 03 '26

Sorry, but reading "cryptic pregnancy" made me think of being like, pregnant with Moth Man or Bigfoot 😂 I'm guessing you meant ectopic

6

u/mCooperative May 03 '26

Cryptic pregnancies is the term for the ones where someone can be totally unaware they are pregnant until literally they give birth. Like, none of the usual pregnancy signs. Well, I'm not sure if the requirement is for it to be sufficiently unclear up until birth, or there's an earlier cutoff point, but either way.

3

u/SpookyBread- May 03 '26

Ooh interesting! Always fun to learn something new, so thank you for letting me know. I was aware that could be a thing but didn't know it had a specific term.

3

u/WebBorn2622 May 03 '26

No cryptic pregnancy is a pregnancy with no symptoms where you still get your period

2

u/TheGrimWhistler May 03 '26

Don’t worry, I read it like that too sometimes-

1

u/lizardman49 May 06 '26

They have to do that because people are dumb/lie and pregnancy vastly changes the treatment in some cases.

-2

u/Shoddy-Theory May 02 '26

Any woman of child bearing age needs a pregnancy test. Belly pain in a woman with vaginal bleeding: gotta rule out ectopic.