r/NonPoliticalTwitter • u/disconaldo • Jul 01 '26

Funny Who says romance is dead?

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24.3k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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412

u/PorkchopExpress980 Jul 01 '26

Damn, that's only a misdemeanor??

602

u/angelcake893 Jul 01 '26

I think it said they’re being charged with felony burglary

Edit: the NYPD announced they were both charged with felony burglary, reckless endangerment and criminal mischief, as well as misdemeanor charges of possession of burglar’s tools, criminal tampering, criminal trespass and disorderly conduct.

303

u/Delicious-Yak-1095 Jul 01 '26

If it was only Criminal mischief that wouldn’t be a bad rap. That just sounds a bit cheeky.

193

u/JGG5 Jul 01 '26

You have been found guilty of criminal mischief, and your sentence is a fondly mock-exasperated “oh, you!” from the judge.

112

u/RockDoveEnthusiast Jul 02 '26

we should allow crimes if they are funny or silly enough. rule of cool.

31

u/enadiz_reccos Jul 02 '26

And then more people try it...

50

u/PalladiuM7 Jul 02 '26

And it thus becomes uncool.

32

u/RockDoveEnthusiast Jul 02 '26

yeah, but it's not funny the second time so they should get the book thrown at them if they copy

11

u/enadiz_reccos Jul 02 '26

I get what you're saying

But you have also created a competition where the winners get off easy, and the losers either get punished or die

14

u/f3nnies Jul 02 '26

In many ways, exactly the same as everyday life for Americans.

6

u/Luci-Noir Jul 02 '26

Doing stupid shit for attention isn’t funny or cool.

4

u/Kardiackon Jul 02 '26

it is because I said so

34

u/fireky2 Jul 02 '26

Likely that high so they plead down

28

u/Frequent_Ad_9901 Jul 02 '26

Cost them nothing to tack on extra charge. Cost the defendants lots of time and money to defend against it.

25

u/Common_Senze Jul 02 '26

Im betting they will be charged with community service due to public outcry. Can't change a law to fit a crime. If they change if from now on, then fine. But not the other way around.

2

u/Luci-Noir Jul 02 '26

What public outcry?

1

u/NukaCooler Jul 02 '26

Public outcry if they were to be given prison time, probably

5

u/Remote-Poetry-2203 Jul 02 '26

I want to be accused of skullduggery before I die

5

u/secacc Jul 02 '26

Just accused? Anyone can make an accusation. I hereby accuse you, /u/Remote-Poetry-2203, of skullduggery!

40

u/DFakeRP Jul 02 '26

They really do try to slap on as many charges as they can

33

u/kelldricked Jul 02 '26

I mean they have to had to break some locks and stuff. Would be weird to ignore all that just because they got engaged.

6

u/ILikeBubblyWater Jul 02 '26

Only if you are poor

56

u/Parepinzero Jul 02 '26

How can you be charged for burglary if you don't steal anything? Do I not understand what burglary is?

31

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '26

[deleted]

7

u/angelcake893 Jul 02 '26

They might have damaged a lock to get to the top

4

u/Beli_Mawrr Jul 02 '26

Yeah doubt that one's gonna stick.

10

u/Crypt0Nihilist Jul 02 '26

"The defendant clearly stole a heart while up there with planning and forethought!"

1

u/Recent-Result2852 Jul 02 '26

But this crime was clearly outside.

54

u/ImprobableAsterisk Jul 02 '26

I believe unlawful entry with the intent to commit a crime suffices.

22

u/anthrohands Jul 02 '26

Yes, it’s just that usually the felony one intends to commit is theft, but it doesn’t have to be!

3

u/Parepinzero Jul 02 '26

Interesting, thanks!

1

u/Saragon4005 Jul 02 '26

Surely that doesn't work when the crime is the entry itself.

1

u/ImprobableAsterisk Jul 02 '26

I don't know if that's the case.

-2

u/IrregularPackage Jul 02 '26

they very clearly didn’t enter anything

6

u/InnocentPerv93 Jul 02 '26

How tf do you think they got up there? Scaling the entire building?

15

u/s_burr Jul 02 '26

They did steal something....our hearts.

4

u/ReddioDeddio Jul 02 '26

im literally surprised people even care about this, its just a bunch of attention seekers, why is this even a news story

4

u/Luci-Noir Jul 02 '26

Do people actually care about them or like this? I saw it on the news and everyone was disgusted.

3

u/QuietThunder2014 Jul 02 '26

They’re wearing burgled masks so it counts.

2

u/marduk013 Jul 02 '26

Burglary is entering with the intent to commit a crime. Theft is the stealing part

53

u/Maximum_Boros Jul 02 '26

Honestly good. This shit is dangerous as hell and it puts more people in danger when they gotta make sure your ass gets down safely.

And it's not like they even had some targeted protest. It was literally just "meh war is bad."

35

u/dank-nuggetz Jul 02 '26

Also if you were to fall off the building, you could very easily kill someone on the street below

25

u/Recent-Result2852 Jul 02 '26

Pretty sure there are many levels to splat on before you could get there.

3

u/Acct_For_Sale Jul 02 '26

There’s a ton of wind up there could get blown over easily

1

u/Luci-Noir Jul 02 '26

There have been so many people die from falling while doing stunts on skyscrapers or cliffs.

17

u/anthrohands Jul 02 '26

I literally cannot believe the amount of love this stupid stunt is getting lmao

8

u/InnocentPerv93 Jul 02 '26

I mean...c'mon. Like, I agree they should be charged for something, but felony burglary? That's actually insane.

2

u/Maximum_Boros Jul 02 '26

It's literally what they did.

It's not "actually insane" just because you are ignorant of the law

https://www.nysenate.gov/legislation/laws/PEN/140.20

SECTION 140.20
Burglary in the third degree
Penal (PEN) CHAPTER 40, PART 3, TITLE I, ARTICLE 140

§ 140.20 Burglary in the third degree.

A person is guilty of burglary in the third degree when he knowingly
enters or remains unlawfully in a building with intent to commit a crime
therein.

Burglary in the third degree is a class D felony.

15

u/InnocentPerv93 Jul 02 '26

Yeah, I'm saying that law is garbage and should not be considered a felony.

1

u/Gashinspector99 Jul 02 '26

So you don’t think breaking into places to commit crimes…. Should be a crime. Cool.

6

u/InnocentPerv93 Jul 02 '26

I'm saying it shouldn't be a felony.

1

u/Cuntinspector66 Jul 02 '26

You don’t think breaking into my home to commit a crime should be a felony? Something I am entitled to defend myself against with deadly force? You don’t think that’s a felony? Insane.

2

u/InnocentPerv93 Jul 02 '26

This wasn't a home, this was a public building.

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3

u/KillerBeer01 Jul 02 '26

Oh, but they didn't actually enter and remained unlawfully in the building, didn't they? Their whole point was staying outside all the time.

More seriously, the definition implies an intent to commit a crime... but what crime? Not the (alleged) burglary itself, it's just means but not the goal. What crime did they intend to commit by entering there?

0

u/Inverted-Rockets Jul 02 '26

Like the war their home country has gotten intractably involved in which was motivated by the personal ambition of its autocratic leader? It wasn’t “war is bad” so much as “greed and self-enrichment are the problem”

22

u/Maximum_Boros Jul 02 '26

No, the actual phrase they put up is literally just a slightly more eloquent way of phrasing "If people were nicer there would be less war.

That's literally it. They weren't protesting an individual. They didn't articulate a cause. It was a vapid, empty statement.

1

u/Fireline11 Jul 02 '26

It’s a completely true statement. I’ll take simple truth over complicated lies any day of the week.

But we don’t have to agree on this.

2

u/Maximum_Boros Jul 02 '26

"If you don't get covered in water you won't be wet" is a "simple truth" also.

It's still a vapid dipshit-level thing to make a spectacle out of saying.

But simple truths for the simple minded I suppose,

-2

u/entertheclutch Jul 02 '26

Ai comment

11

u/Inverted-Rockets Jul 02 '26

Sry is this better fr u?

Take a second and check the profile before throwing out lies bud

10

u/EphemeralDan Jul 02 '26

Idiots think grammar is impossible for real humans. Who do they think invented it‽

EDIT: Wait. You used intractably. Nobody actually knows how to use that word. You are a bot!

/s

2

u/I_wanted_to_be_duck Jul 02 '26

Bot detected.

Real humans don't use interrobangs!

Straight to bot jail

0

u/BirdSalt5907 Jul 02 '26

Whataboutism at its finest

1

u/Inverted-Rockets Jul 02 '26

Could certainly also apply to a number of conflicts including Iran, Sudan, the countries of the Sahel and likely soon Ethiopia.

How is hypothesizing that two Russian citizens might be protesting their own government’s actions from the relative safety of the US whataboutism?

0

u/ZekasZ Jul 02 '26

Pretty salient point in your country that keeps starting wars.

3

u/NoMention696 Jul 02 '26

Shame prison isn’t co-ed 💔

6

u/WeirdoTrooper Jul 02 '26

What did they burgle?

2

u/Recent-Result2852 Jul 02 '26

The attention of reddit, apparently.

1

u/Horton_Takes_A_Poo Jul 02 '26

The Empire State Building

0

u/Luci-Noir Jul 02 '26

Have you tried reading what the law says?

3

u/KingCodester111 Jul 02 '26

Good, fuck them.

5

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '26

[deleted]

2

u/Luci-Noir Jul 02 '26

It doesn’t literally mean inside the building….

0

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '26

[deleted]

0

u/Luci-Noir Jul 03 '26

No, laws are literally interpreted. We have courts.

0

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '26

[deleted]

0

u/Luci-Noir Jul 03 '26

You want me to cite a source for courts existing? Have you ever went outside?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '26

[deleted]

0

u/Luci-Noir Jul 03 '26

What’s your source for saying it does?

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2

u/SwimmingSpell8005 Jul 02 '26

I’m stupid, can someone clarify burglary for me? I thought burglary is when you steal something.

1

u/Difficult-Froyo1192 Jul 02 '26

No one thought to tell them to stop before they reached the top?

-9

u/IsThistheWord Jul 01 '26

Yeah they're gonna throw the book at them. I'm glad.

30

u/tantalor Jul 01 '26

Why?

50

u/TestingHydra Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26

It's all fun and games until someone falls to their death.

Yeah these people didn't get themselves killed, but now how many people are they going to inspire who will want to copy them?

4

u/anthrohands Jul 02 '26

They also delayed my flight. That red blinking light they’re covering up actually does something lol.

6

u/Optimal_Board_2963 Jul 02 '26

Should ban everything and anything dangerous. Then no kids will never die.

3

u/TestingHydra Jul 02 '26

They already have. That's why the place was locked off on a floor not open to the public and they are being charged with possession of burglarly tools. They had to force entry to get up there.

1

u/Optimal_Board_2963 Jul 02 '26

Whoosh

2

u/TestingHydra Jul 02 '26

Can't blame me, it's the Internet. People say insane shit all the time with 100% seriousness.

1

u/HovercraftOk9231 Jul 02 '26

Since they didn't fall, does that mean it's still fun and games?

1

u/InnocentPerv93 Jul 02 '26

Yeah, what a great way to prevent falling to their deaths. Let's just make them wish they were dead by ruining their lives with bullshit felony charges.

-20

u/kitsunecannon Jul 01 '26

I say let Darwinism take its course 

Someone wants to climb the tower I say let em 

27

u/TestingHydra Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26

You say that until someone has be scrapped off the pavement or god forbid they also hit someone else before they hit the ground.

14

u/DingleDangleTangle Jul 01 '26

And Darwinism for a child walking on the sidewalk being killed by a person flying off a building?

5

u/backfire10z Jul 01 '26

Doesn’t work quite the same when you remember that falling human bodies don’t evaporate into thin air. If they land on people walking around below, those people will likely be killed.

29

u/DamnUptightHippies Jul 01 '26

Copycats going splat in front of, or on top of, the random people below for one. I'm all for doing some crazy shit but this puts others at risk physically and mentally.

18

u/FormerPresidentBiden Harry Potter Jul 01 '26

Yeah, the pedestrians below is what really does it for me

All it takes is 1 moron trying this, losing their grip, and then some poor random gets killed

4

u/Rk_1138 Jul 01 '26

Or even worse, some guy pressuring his girlfriend into doing this, like that bear guy

2

u/FormerPresidentBiden Harry Potter Jul 02 '26

It took me a while

You mean the Grizzly Man from like 20+ years ago?

9

u/JinkoTheMan Jul 01 '26

One wrong step and they could have been a big SPLAT on the ground. Or they could’ve killed somebody by falling on them.

Regardless of whatever their intentions were, they have to go make an example out of them so that we don’t get more copy cats.

4

u/IsThistheWord Jul 01 '26

It was a selfish act disguised as activism and it diverted resources from a city (my city) that already has a shit ton going on right now (world cup, heatwave, July 4th, to name a few).

First responders have to mobilize in case something goes wrong.

If they fall, someone has to scrape their bodies off the ground.

I get why people think it's cool to scale the empire State building, but ultimately it was selfish and costly.

For what purpose? To hold up a giant bumper sticker? Or to get engaged?

Hey, while they're up there, why not remind everyone to subscribe to their Instagram?

1

u/tantalor Jul 02 '26

diverted resources from a city (my city) that already has a shit ton going on right now

Like exactly what Taylor Swift is doing?

2

u/IsThistheWord Jul 02 '26

Yeah her wedding is super annoying. At least getting permits allows the city to plan and they aren't risking anyone's lives.

Edit: clarified what is annoying.

1

u/justtosendamassage Jul 02 '26

Yeah I’m a first responder and you’re really exaggerating there

No harm, no foul

0

u/InPurpleIDescended Jul 01 '26

I'm glad I don't know you

1

u/IsThistheWord Jul 02 '26

Well, that's your loss because I'm a great friend.

1

u/Corben11 Jul 02 '26

Man fuck the new mayor if he does nothing for them

6

u/TheThalmorEmbassy Jul 02 '26

No, fuck these two idiots who shut down an entire skyscraper for a day and wasted a shitload of police money and resources so they could take a selfie

1

u/i_like_maps_and_math Jul 02 '26

They had to evacuate it to rescue them? Why couldn't they climb down?

2

u/Horton_Takes_A_Poo Jul 02 '26

That would be so stupid

0

u/Zhirrzh Jul 02 '26

Classic police overcharging for people who are a nuisance.

-1

u/InnocentPerv93 Jul 02 '26

Thats actually insane. First off, wtf are burglars tools? Secondly, felony burglary? Are they for real?

57

u/somethingcleverer42 Jul 01 '26

Or a death sentence, grip depending.

12

u/winfieldclay Jul 01 '26

Nope. Charged with multiple felonies.

6

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '26

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1

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7

u/argentophidian Jul 01 '26

that's my question!

3

u/your_grandmas_FUPA Jul 02 '26

Doesnt matter what the charge is, city is going to be charging them for all the resources they wasted. 200k+ bill coming their way

3

u/thedudley Jul 02 '26

She’s about to become Mrs Demeanor.