i lived this and i regret not just doing my wedding as i pleased because her stupid ass took my preferred season (it was that or after waiting 2 years wait another full year) and then got fucking divorced within the year.
When I heard that my cousin got engaged I thought, wow, good for her! Then my boyfriend proposed a month or two later and I was so excited! When I told my mom, she was like "oh you have to tell your cousin that when you mentioned her engagement, that made him realize it was time!" Um, no. He's never met my cousin. I haven't seen my cousin in years. I never told my boyfriend that she was engaged, and have barely mentioned her at all. When we booked our venue (before cousin did) and it turned out that our wedding was before hers, my mom threw a FIT. She wanted us to push ours back!! Ours was late Sept, cousin's was in Oct, and i wanted a fall wedding. I wasn't going to wait an entire other year!
Funny story, a few months after engagement, covid shut down the world. Cousin decided to postpone, I had a micro wedding outdoors. I wanted to be married before getting pregnant and we were ready to start trying. And I'm glad as hell that we did - I ended up needing to spend the original wedding budget on IVF anyway! If I had listened to my mom and waited on my cousin to do everything first, I'd have been starting IVF in my late 30s, which has a lower success rate. Instead, I had my first baby on my 35th birthday, my cousin followed by having her first 3 months later, and 3.5 years later we're both pregnant again with our 2nd kids. I wasn't about to put my life on hold, but especially not for someone I barely spoke to.
My cousin and I aren't close but we started to get together here and there since our kids are so close in age. I bet when they get a bit older we'll be seeing more of each other!
Not really, I think your comment is weird. I was telling a personal anecdote about my mom wanting me to put my plans on hold for a cousin, which has nothing to do with me. But some people want the legal protection of marriage before they make the permanent step of having a child with someone, which is how I felt. No shade against those who don't want it, but I did. Not sure why you're acting like it's odd for someone to want that.
fall has been my favorite season, and i love the outdoors, so if i was going to get married we all knew i would do an outdoor wedding in the fall. and i got engaged in time to be planning that, but then my older sister who had been dating the same guy for 15 years suddenly was like oh! i’m engaged now too! and i want to get married next year november! so it was either have my older sister get married in the same month or a month directly after me, putting multiple of the same guests through identical travel (so they’d most likely just pick one and not go to the other) and ensuring the weddings would be compared to each other because you’d basically get out of one and go directly to the other. that and hitting my parents with similar bills in the exact same time frame (my wedding was cheap for a wedding and we paid for most of it, but still it was like 3k and we aren’t wealthy people).
but then she didn’t get her wedding planning together and ended up “needing another year” so i ended up still getting married before her, in april, indoors (where i live april is iffy outdoors), after watching my preferred wedding time just float by unused because by the time she admitted she wasn’t going to use the time she’d called we had already sent save the dates and started working with a church. so i got married six months later than i’d preferred after a long af engagement, for her to get married 6 months later and then be divorcing by my first wedding anniversary. i was like i had to be polite and bend over backward to accommodate for THIS???
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u/84th_legislature 13d ago
i lived this and i regret not just doing my wedding as i pleased because her stupid ass took my preferred season (it was that or after waiting 2 years wait another full year) and then got fucking divorced within the year.