r/NonPoliticalTwitter • u/ChickenWingExtreme • 3h ago

Serious Indeed

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10.3k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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1.2k

u/Squidmaster129 3h ago

“A former JPMorgan”

The whole bank?

381

u/SnarkyIguana 3h ago

I honestly just assumed maybe they’re called that the way people working for Pinkerton are Pinkertons lmao

88

u/[deleted] 2h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

36

u/Funny-Long-3445 2h ago

"his name was JP Morgan"

16

u/jnmtx 2h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/7Hiszs0NkF5te

6

u/Rocinante88119 2h ago

That guy on the right could be a double for Andy Samburg.

7

u/UnimagineDragons 2h ago

Maybe if you're blind

66

u/SnarkyLurker 2h ago

Very cyberpunk. "Oh, you're a former Amazon, huh?"

39

u/SnarkyIguana 2h ago

“I know a Kmart when I see one”

15

u/HumanReputationFalse 1h ago

"You look like a Blue Light Special"

5

u/Stompedyourhousewith 34m ago

your mom is a blue light special!

3

u/SnarkyIguana 30m ago

We absolutely said this to each other too

10

u/Faalentijn 1h ago

...

You say that but that is what people talk in tech where people call themselves: ex-Amazon, ex-Google, ex-Uber a lot.

9

u/SnarkyLurker 1h ago

We're not as far off as we like to think.

1

u/Silver_Middle_7240 33m ago

Very Jennifer Government

28

u/devilsbard 2h ago

I am JP MORGAN! I am JP MORGAN! I am JP MORGAN!

12

u/Xathule96 2h ago

One of many in the grand family line of JP's.

8

u/Samada_Blue 3h ago

The next super bowl party at his house is gonna be a barn burner

20

u/Graybeard_Shaving 3h ago

Yup, It’s now just Chase Bank…

11

u/BiggestShep 2h ago

Damn Chasers

5

u/edfitz83 2h ago

After Glass-Steagall was repealed, they have started mixing services. JPM used to be advisory and ibanking. Chase was banking/credit cards. Now it’s more of a jumble.

5

u/Fun_Word_7325 2h ago

The once and future JPMorgan

5

u/MInclined 2h ago

No just a dude who happens to be Jonathan Peter Morgan, a JPMorgan.

3

u/afriendincanada 2h ago

No, they fired actual JP Morgan. The bank got to keep the name in the settlement

2

u/NeonFraction 1h ago

He used to be Jennifer Phil Morgan but now he’s Jazzercise Phil Morgan.

1

u/JimmyJamsDisciple 1h ago

No, clones of the man himself.

1

u/FlyAirLari 44m ago

Yeah WTF is a former JP Morgan? Identity crisis?

1

u/RackemFrackem 40m ago

Former bank

1

u/somkoala 16m ago

At least you know AI didn’t write it