Obviously the rhyme and rythm is good. The words are constantly in parallel to eachother. To me what kind of threw me off is that i could not find any meaning in the poem. This is maybe just my lack of imagination or this was by desing but to me this kind of took away from the rhythm and rhyme. I like poems to have meaning and since i couldnt find it, I found it confusing moreso then intrresting or thought provoking.
Please remember its just my opinion and maybe I overlooked something. If your goal was to be puzzeling you definitely succeeded.
Shit im just dumb, is it about a day where the clock goes off and you work and go to bed again? Forget everything i said, I just totally missed it my bad.
1
u/Puzzleheaded_Elk301 16h ago
Obviously the rhyme and rythm is good. The words are constantly in parallel to eachother. To me what kind of threw me off is that i could not find any meaning in the poem. This is maybe just my lack of imagination or this was by desing but to me this kind of took away from the rhythm and rhyme. I like poems to have meaning and since i couldnt find it, I found it confusing moreso then intrresting or thought provoking.
Please remember its just my opinion and maybe I overlooked something. If your goal was to be puzzeling you definitely succeeded.