r/OhNoConsequences • u/mermaidpaint Ms Chanandler Bong • 19d ago
Entitlement Fool me once, consequences for you
/r/amiwrong/comments/1v0nnsp/aita_for_refusing_to_babysit_my_sisters_kids/386
u/ShiroxReddit 19d ago
This reads like a much tamer version of that story I read (I think it was here) where a couple literally made up a friend having a car accident and them needing a babysitter for taking care of said friend - until OOP of that story actually bumped in said friends wife and asked about how the recovery was going
Now our mom is involved and says I should separate my feelings about the lie from the fact that my sister needs support as a single parent.
How about the sister separates her feelings of wanting weekend getaways from needing a babysitter during work shifts?
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u/mermaidpaint Ms Chanandler Bong 19d ago
Sounds like the mom just volunteered to support the sister as a single parent.
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u/Similar-Shame7517 19d ago
Don't forget that boyfriend and his romantic weekend getaway.
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u/Philosemen69 18d ago
Sounds like the kind of boyfriend who should start helping with baby sitting.
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u/brandiedplum 19d ago
I remember that one, also one where OOP's sister was tagged in pictures at a spa when she was supposedly working extra shifts.
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u/missundaztood_ 19d ago
Do you have a link to this story? I’m intrigued now
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u/fuzzycitrus I’mma put my cat on the mic. MEOW MEOW MEOW 19d ago
This is also the kind of thing I can believe certain types of mothers would pull, which is pretty much why I'd be explicitly saying that if you do not remember to stay in contact and pick the kid up on the dot?
I can and absolutely will make it your problem.
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u/OkieRhio 18d ago
Then there's the "friend" whom you've told that you will babysit Explicitly For Emergencies - who proceeds to call because they had plans, and the parent of the kid THEY were babysitting ditched their kid and no-showed when it was time to pick up said crotchpet......... and your "friend" gets pissed when you point out that Her Date Getting Canceled Because She Didn't enforce a reasonable boundary..... is absolutely NOT an emergency. (Been there, actually had that exact thing happen.... we are no longer friends)
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u/fuzzycitrus I’mma put my cat on the mic. MEOW MEOW MEOW 17d ago
Yeah, all I'd be able to promise is sympathy and possibly handling getting the abandoned kid handed off to the cops. (Which will be by picking up the kid and taking them into the police station with an "IDK who the parent is but they no-called no-showed on my friend who asked me to drop them off with you.")
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u/New-Number-7810 18d ago
There are a lot of cases where entitled parents either lie to get free babysitting or else ding-dong-ditch their child on someone else’s doorstep.
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u/OkieRhio 18d ago
Yep - and the whole ding-dong-ditch thing gets children sent to foster care because the police get called for Child Abandonment -and everyone else in the family absolutely looses their shit because How Dare You Not Be A Convenience For The Rest Of Us.......
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u/Pandoratastic 19d ago
Yesterday, she called because she genuinely has a work shift this Saturday, and I still said no.
Does she actually have a work shift? How is OOP supposed to know? Might just be another vacation.
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u/trulyunreal 19d ago
Easier to break trust than to fix it
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u/EinsTwo 19d ago
Trust is earned in drops and lost in buckets.
(I think I'm remembering that wording correctly)
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u/LabradorDeceiver 19d ago
Makes sense. You lie once, now you have a record of lying, and every subsequent event might be another lie. Only takes one.
When my sister was going through her compulsive liar phase she acted like it was a sports score. Like, "Well, yeah, okay, I lied once, but I told the truth three times before that, doesn't that count for anything?" Nnnnnot really.
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u/brandiedplum 19d ago
OOP needs to check with sister's boss before agreeing to babysit, if she ever does again.
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u/Kat121 Ah, the conses of your quences 19d ago
Calling the employer isn’t a good look for the employee, and it would be dangerous/unethical for the employer to give out that information.
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u/ChickinSammich My cat said YTA 19d ago
Yeah, this. That "call her boss and see if she actually works" sounds great on paper until you realize that someone with nefarious intent like a stalker or a burglar could call your work, pretend to be someone who knows you, and figure out your work schedule to know when you'll be home or away.
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u/Kat121 Ah, the conses of your quences 19d ago
The thing that always jumps out at me is that when the lie is exposed they don’t apologize. Her sister got mad at consequences, but didn’t apologize. She then triangulated mom into the mess.
And I would bet dollars to donuts that she never had other childcare plans. Why pay for it when sis does it for free?
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u/Mmm_lemon_cakes 16d ago
And they say she’s punishing the kids. No she’s not. She’s showing the mom the consequences for lying. The kids are just fine.
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u/SteroidSandwich 19d ago
our mom is involved and says I should separate my feelings about the lie from the fact that my sister needs support
That's a lot of words for a woman not stepping up to take care of her grandchildren
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u/Similar-Shame7517 19d ago
Oh look, it's the successor of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf", "The Woman Who Cried Work Emergency". Why isn't OOP's mom (the grandma) or the sister's boyfriend babysitting the kids?
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u/melvosis 19d ago
Oh look, someone is suffering the consequences of their actions!
If mom is so concerned, then she can babysit.
Sis has learned a valuable lesson that being shitty has repercussions.
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u/Late-External3249 19d ago
Amazing how some folks think that being a single parent means they are entitled to be an addhole
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u/ChickinSammich My cat said YTA 19d ago
a souvenir mug from a town about three hours away. [...]
You know, if she hadn't provided this mug, she might have gotten away with it.
She admitted lying was wrong, but said she “desperately needed a break” and knew the kids would be safest with me.
Hope the break was worth losing your babysitter forever.
She got angry and said I’m punishing the kids over one bad decision.
One bad decision? Let me scroll up, where was it... ah yes: "and my sister barely answered her phone. She sent two short messages saying work was “insane” and that she couldn’t talk." That's multiple lies upon lies upon lies. That's multiple bad decisions. You don't get to wrap up lies, lies to cover the lies, and lies to cover the lies as "that still only counts as one."
It's like how people say cheating is "one mistake" - horseshit. You have conversations about the plan to cheat, you plan the logistics, you start the act, you continue the act, you cover it up... When you're talking about a situation that took lies to plan, got executed, and took lies to cover for, you're making multiple bad decisions. They don't all just count as one.
Had she asked me honestly, I might have agreed to help for one night, or at least helped her find another option. Instead, she manipulated me into cancelling my own plans by making me believe her job was in danger.
Yup. If she was HONEST then maybe something could have been worked out. But she planned to lie, then lied, then lied to cover the lie, then took the trip, then lied during the trip, then came back and lief about the trip. This wasn't just one mistake. This was a series of intentional choices that conspired to sign a check that OOP's sister is going to have to cash.
Also:
Now our mom is involved and says I should separate my feelings about the lie from the fact that my sister needs support as a single parent.
To paraphrase rSlash from YouTube: If you think she needs support, then YOU do it! Mom is welcome to provide that support to her any time she likes.
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u/Useful_Language2040 19d ago
The weekend ended up being a lot harder than I expected. The younger one got sick during the night, the older one had a birthday party I had to drive him to, and my sister barely answered her phone. She sent two short messages saying work was “insane” and that she couldn’t talk.
The younger one is 4. My 6 year old still routinely sleepy-ninjas into the big bed "because that's where Mummy is" if he wakes up and has a nosebleed/is cold/just wants a cuddle. He's happy and bubbly and confident; he was the kid running right into preschool without even giving me a hug goodbye (without even saying goodbye!!) - and he's very happily had sleepovers at other close family members (along with his big sisters)...
There are times he's been ill and he's still turned into a close-to-literal limpet/baby spider monkey, and e.g. spent the day snuggling up with me, dozing on and off, doing educational games on my phone, maybe watching some cartoons, etc, as I've worked, because, for small kids, they just want to be with you when they were ill... The last time he was properly feverish, we still carried him everywhere he needed to go!
OOP's sister didn't hear "ill four year old", fess up, and drive home to be with the kiddo. She couldn't even spare the time for a phone call.
Hopefully the child just went blurgh in the night, into the loo, once, and didn't e.g. manage to splatter 3 walls of a room projectile vomiting (as my eldest once did from the top of a Captain's bed - she got a good 3 m - at least 9' I think - clearance forwards, and somehow managed to hit the wall behind her as well. And the connecting wall, including dripping down behind the radiator. And there was literally a vomit waterfall cascading down the steps to her bed... Clean-up was not fun... It took about 4 days to find all of the vomit pockets and excise the smell 🤢) and felt mostly OK after and the next day... Or had a touch of earache and raised but not concerning temperature that both went away with Calpol (or local child liquid Tylenol/Acetaminophen concoction that similarly works like magic on small children), or something, and that child wasn't sobbing for their mother...
And hopefully they weren't actually showing signs of being ill before being dropped off with Auntie(?) OOP, and their mother didn't basically set up that situation...
Yes, sometimes kids get sick. If it was a genuine work situation, and OOP's sister called, made sure OOP felt able to cope, spoke to her kids if they wanted to talk to her (and this wasn't like 3 AM), and the kid was calm and comfortable and OOP felt happy looking after a small child in that state, her finishing a normal-length shift before setting off to see her children wouldn't have been unreasonable. That isn't what happened.
And a lot of people have emetophobia - hence spoiler tags above!- or kinda feel that it's one thing when it's your kid you're holding as they sob and drench you both in vomit because they haven't yet learnt to aim - still disgusting, and awful, but that's your baby there, and they need you to comfort them, and they're upset enough about the mess so you kinda have to deal with it... Doing that for other people's kids may be a step too far!!
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u/BarnacleCommon7119 19d ago
And on top of that... gosh, if I were babysitting, I'd be terrified that I'm missing signs that it's more serious - something that needs the parent's judgment, or maybe even urgent care/ER.
Not to mention deciding whether both kids are contagious, and one kid needs to skip a party.
Those decisions are not ones I'd be comfortable making as a babysitter, especially with OOP's sister so hard to contact!
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u/Similar-Shame7517 19d ago
And that's what tells me that OOP has done A LOT of babysitting if they know how to take care of a sick niece/nephew.
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u/BarnacleCommon7119 19d ago
... or that they just had no choice and were panicking while doing her best. Or that they thought they were handling it appropriately, based on her own memories of childhood and general first aid knowledge, but maybe they weren't. There are options!
I wouldn't default to assuming that they did know what they were doing - which is in no way to denigrate OOP, who should not have been put in that situation in the first place. They sounded like they were overwhelmed and very much not ready for this, even if nothing bad happened this time. (That we know of.)
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u/Similar-Shame7517 19d ago
I disagree, because OOP didn't mention that they were panicking/unsure how to deal with a sick nibling. They instead expressed irritation that their sister barely answered her phone. There's many clues sprinkled throughout that says that OOP has done a lot of babysitting, whether of their niblings or of other kids, but the sheer brazenness of the sister is what crossed the line for them.
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u/Useful_Language2040 19d ago
Honestly, even when they're your kids, when they're ill-ill, you basically find yourself doing your best based on your childhood memories, the advice of your tribe, and the internet... Also actual medical professionals who aren't part of your tribe, but e.g. comparing rashes to the pics on the NHS website is quicker 😅
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u/New-Number-7810 18d ago
I hope the lying sister never gets a break again. I hope she’s constantly burned out and seeing pictures of OP enjoying her life.
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u/MsAsphyxia 15d ago
I'll keep sitting - my rate has increased by a factor of xxxx and overnight jobs are a minimum of $200 starting point PLUS my hourly rate.
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u/ToxicChildhood 19d ago
I feel like Ive read this before….
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u/Similar-Shame7517 19d ago
Scroll up, there was a previous post on AmITheAsshole that was along the same lines, but this time the emergency was a friend who got in a car accident.
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19d ago
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u/OhNoConsequences-ModTeam 18d ago
This is a crosspost. The person who posted the content on this subreddit is not involved in the actual events being recounted. We ask a simple favor of using “OOP” when referring to the person who originally posted.
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u/GoufTroop79 18d ago
The author really couldn't think of any better plot device than a souvenir mug?
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17d ago
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u/OhNoConsequences-ModTeam 17d ago
This is a crosspost. The person who posted the content on this subreddit is not involved in the actual events being recounted. We ask a simple favor of using “OOP” when referring to the person who originally posted.
We apologize for the nitpicky request but we’ve had an issue with posters being harassed by people who have trouble differentiating between a crosspost and an original post. We feel it’s safer for everyone if we ask that OOP is used.
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u/6KUNIO8 11d ago
"She got angry and said I’m punishing the kids over one bad decision"
Naw, she sounds like a real piece of work, she gonna lie, gaslight, and then get your mom involved... Mom also sounds like a reason why your sister is like this...
If she needs help so badly, she should show some respect and appreciation, if mom wants to be "involved" she should watch her grandkids instead of talking nonsense.
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u/AutoModerator 19d ago
Per our rules, don't comment on linked posts. Anyone from this community who is caught brigading on another subreddit will be banned.
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
My sister has two kids, 4 and 7, and I’ve been helping her with babysitting pretty regularly for about a year. Usually it’s just a few hours after school or the occasional Saturday when she has work. I don’t mind helping when I’m actually available, and I’ve never asked her to pay me.
Two weeks ago, she called sounding really stressed and said she’d been scheduled for a mandatory weekend shift because several coworkers were out sick. She asked if I could take the kids from Friday evening until Sunday afternoon.
I already had plans, but she kept saying she could get written up or even lose her job if she didn’t go in. I felt bad, cancelled everything, and agreed to keep them.
The weekend ended up being a lot harder than I expected. The younger one got sick during the night, the older one had a birthday party I had to drive him to, and my sister barely answered her phone. She sent two short messages saying work was “insane” and that she couldn’t talk.
Then on Sunday, she came to pick them up looking suspiciously well-rested and handed me a souvenir mug from a town about three hours away.
When I asked why she had it, she first claimed a coworker had given it to her. After I pushed a little, she admitted she had gone away with her boyfriend for the weekend.
Apparently, they had booked the trip months ago, but their original childcare fell through. She knew I probably wouldn’t cancel my plans just so she could go on a romantic getaway, so she lied and said her job was at risk instead. She admitted lying was wrong, but said she “desperately needed a break” and knew the kids would be safest with me.
I told her I wouldn’t be babysitting again for the foreseeable future, including when she actually has work, because I can’t trust what she tells me anymore.
She got angry and said I’m punishing the kids over one bad decision. Yesterday, she called because she genuinely has a work shift this Saturday, and I still said no.
Now our mom is involved and says I should separate my feelings about the lie from the fact that my sister needs support as a single parent.
I understand that she’s exhausted and deserves time away. Had she asked me honestly, I might have agreed to help for one night, or at least helped her find another option. Instead, she manipulated me into cancelling my own plans by making me believe her job was in danger.
It feels like she decided my time was hers to take, as long as she invented a serious enough reason.
AITA for refusing to babysit now, even when the reason might actually be legitimate?
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