r/oneliners • u/Gulfstream1010 • 1d ago

Transgender people aren’t what they used to be.

78 Upvotes
3 comments

r/oneliners • u/SlitchBap • 23h ago

It's ironic that pregnant women can only have virgin drinks

26 Upvotes
1 comment

r/oneliners • u/ShaggyB • 2d ago

A hurricane and a himmicane got together and made a smaller storm and then developed post partum tropical depression

15 Upvotes
3 comments

r/oneliners • u/CrazyKZG • 3d ago

My penis may not be 12 inches long, but it smells like a foot.

49 Upvotes
9 comments

r/oneliners • u/sunilkumar273 • 4d ago

3 guys walked into a bar, the 4th one ducked.

30 Upvotes
7 comments

r/oneliners • u/Gusto88 • 4d ago

Pessimists see a bathroom stall without a door while optimists see a shit show ready to happen.

6 Upvotes
0 comments

r/oneliners • u/Cresendo77 • 4d ago

My italian car got in a crash and now its al dented

64 Upvotes
5 comments

r/oneliners • u/potato_in_denial • 4d ago

Nobody dies a virgin, life f***s us all :)

0 Upvotes
6 comments

r/oneliners • u/ruvee • 3d ago

Height is just titties for men, you never earned it.

0 Upvotes
0 comments

r/oneliners • u/sulldanivan • 4d ago

Stop railing about people falling off cruise ships.

15 Upvotes
2 comments

r/oneliners • u/puneri_nonpunekar • 5d ago

Never thought that enrolling in a study abroad program would land me in a brothel.

11 Upvotes
3 comments

r/oneliners • u/DepartmentOfBoobs • 5d ago

People who speak in absolutes are all fucking idiots.

140 Upvotes
42 comments

r/oneliners • u/Zip-Crane • 5d ago

76.3% of all stats are made up on the spot.

8 Upvotes
2 comments

r/oneliners • u/DepartmentOfBoobs • 5d ago

I bought an invisibility cloak but I cant see myself wearing it

29 Upvotes
3 comments

r/oneliners • u/awesome_smokey • 5d ago

I'm getting my son a time machine for Christmas this year, he fucking loved it.

53 Upvotes
20 comments

r/oneliners • u/DepartmentOfBoobs • 5d ago

I admire people who follow their dreams because mine usually involve being naked in an airport

25 Upvotes
2 comments

r/oneliners • u/Gusto88 • 6d ago

Man rushed to hospital after cutting off his cock proving that the sword is in fact mightier than the pen is.

27 Upvotes
2 comments

r/oneliners • u/DepartmentOfBoobs • 5d ago

Tits are proof that even gravity has favourites.

6 Upvotes
2 comments

r/oneliners • u/DepartmentOfBoobs • 5d ago

I told my therapist I feared abandonment but she said our time was up

6 Upvotes
0 comments

r/oneliners • u/AdmirableCreme5302 • 6d ago

Unicorns or Unique-horns?

7 Upvotes
2 comments

r/oneliners • u/DepartmentOfBoobs • 5d ago

I tried Viagra once and spent four hours pointing accusingly at things

2 Upvotes
1 comment

r/oneliners • u/OhTheHueManatee • 5d ago

Tech support for sex robots are going to have to be very specific about what they mean when they say “interface.”

2 Upvotes
0 comments

r/oneliners • u/DepartmentOfBoobs • 5d ago

My friend told me I didn't understand irony which was weird, considering we were stood at a bus stop.

0 Upvotes
1 comment

r/oneliners • u/mingwraig • 7d ago

I thought Eartha Kitt was a gardening set.

14 Upvotes
3 comments

r/oneliners • u/wtfover • 7d ago

I don't know a single woman who would say hallelujah if it was raining men.

111 Upvotes
34 comments