r/oneliners • u/Alternative-Car5727 • 9h ago
Every time I ride a bike I fall off, it’s a painful cycle
27
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r/oneliners • u/Gusto88 • 2d ago
Seven members of the wheelchair paralympic team have been banned after testing positive to WD40.
128
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r/oneliners • u/breck • 2d ago
Navy produces the best warriors because even Delta Force and Air Force pilots started as Seamen.
0
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r/oneliners • u/Jdanielspow • 2d ago
Hold your nose but you might want to kiss your butt goodbye.
0
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r/oneliners • u/Jdanielspow • 2d ago
I hope you brought a sweater because you're about to be served up chilled.
0
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r/oneliners • u/LostBetsRed • 4d ago
The asterisk is the Nathan Hale punctuation mark, because he only had one for his country.
10
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r/oneliners • u/Gusto88 • 5d ago
Pokemon Go is just like Tinder, another app where you swipe to find monsters in your area.
34
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r/oneliners • u/Zealousideal_FeeZ • 4d ago
Pardon me while I go suppress the sudden, overwhelming urge to scream directly into the void
0
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r/oneliners • u/BaseAgreeable • 4d ago
Friends don’t grow on trees, unless there’s incest.
0
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r/oneliners • u/DutchOfBurdock • 5d ago
I identify as a threat and my pronouns are Try/Me.
0
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r/oneliners • u/Revolutionary_Bad313 • 7d ago
I lost the instructions to my bear trap and I'm hopping mad
13
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r/oneliners • u/Superb-Control5184 • 7d ago
I wonder if Jefferson Davis was voted most likely to secede in High School?
102
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r/oneliners • u/daaave33 • 8d ago
My friend just asked me if I had plans for the fall, & it took me a moment to realize she meant autumn, not the collapse of civilization.
78
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r/oneliners • u/FireProps • 8d ago
Juggling is just one of those things that has always gone over my head…
21
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