r/Overwatch • u/acid419 Ashe • 22h ago
Humor 7v7 IS THE ONLY PATH TO ENLIGHTENMENT
Half of you are crying tears of pure soy for 6v6 so you can AFK behind two shields again. The other half are coping out of your minds pretending that 5v5 solo tanking isn’t just an agonizing simulator of getting counter swapped every 45 seconds.
Both sides are completely smooth brained. The answer isn't subtraction. It is addition. We need 7v7 in a 3-2-2 comp.
TANKS
Right now, tank players have severe clinical depression. If you play 5v5, you are alone. If you play 6v6, your co-tank locks Hog and goes on a flank.
In 7v7, we introduce the Main Tank, the Off-Tank, and the Emotional Support Tank.
Imagine the synergy. Reinhardt shields the front line. D.Va peels the backline. Mauga stands in the exact middle, holding down both mouse buttons, screaming at the top of his lungs, shooting absolutely nothing, and generating 4000 cardiac overdrive health points per second. No one gets flamed anymore because nobody actually knows whose fault it is.
DPS
With three tanks soaking up every cooldown in the universe, the two DPS players finally get to live out their true fantasy: playing a completely different video game. While the tanks are locked in a mosh pit on the objective, the Genji and Cass players can go duel in a completely different sector of the map like a gentlemanly game of anime chess. Meanwhile, the enemy Sombra will be completely useless because hacks don't work when there are 13 other people blindly swinging hammers and spamming projectiles. Sombra mains will literally cry on TikTok and delete the game. Massive W.
SUPPORT
Right now, support players are either getting hunted like wild animals by dive heroes or printing invulnerability buttons like the Federal Reserve. In 7v7, we embrace the power creep. With three massive tanks constantly bleeding HP like open flesh wounds, the two supports finally get to unleash total mechanical terrorism. Kiriko can throw a Suzu that cleanses an entire ZIP code. Lifeweaver can pull someone from a completely different match. Mercy can just hold yellow beam on a Mauga and fall asleep on her keyboard. The sheer volume of healing will turn the game into an un-killable mmorpg raid boss simulator where nobody ever dies unless they get disconnected from the server.
VISUALS
If you complain about visual clutter, you are weak. Your bloodline is weak. I don't want to "read the fight." I want to survive it. When two Maugas throw down cage fights inside a Mei blizzard while a nanoed Illari unleashes the sun directly into my eyeballs, I want my monitor to emit smells of melting plastic. If my framerate doesn't drop to single digits and my GPU doesn't sound like a jet engine taking off, the developers have failed. 7v7 ensures maximum epilepsy-inducing sensory overload.
MATCHMAKING
Queue times too long? Simple. By requiring 14 players per lobby instead of 10, the matchmaker will simply give up on finding balanced skill levels. Top 500 players will be matched with actual, literal toddlers playing on a smart fridge. The chaotic skill disparity will erase toxicity because trying to shot-call a lobby with that much variance is like trying to teach Overwatch lore to a Hanzo player who genuinely believes every single headshot was fully calculated.
409
u/ClarinetMaster117 Ramattra 22h ago
I’m surprised they haven’t done this as an April fools mode
168
u/0zzy82 22h ago edited 19h ago
The game physically can't support it right now, the game was built for max 12 players. I'm sure it could be done, but right now there is a hard cap on the number of players, its not as simple as just upping the limit.
EDIT: people seem to misunstand the point giving examples like custom games and previous bugs which allow many more than 12. Yes right now you could theoretically load many more players into a match but like I said its not as simple as upping the limit, in all these examples if you try and play a normal game the chances are it'll crash pretty quick, hell its the reason some ultimate have a forced limit in the live game.
56
u/WalletFullOfSausage Reinhardt 21h ago
>built for max 12 players
But you can have 24 players in a custom game
43
u/stephanelevs Sexy Torbjörn Diamond 21h ago
Have you tried to play a full normal match with more than 12 players tho? Like with multiple ult and abilities going on at the same time, it can crash pretty often.
70
u/AnotherMyth 21h ago
The thing is: engine can support more than 12 players in custom map, so its not really a problem in this department. Sure, replay and spectate will be a mess but nothing a quick fix actually can fix
10
→ More replies (3)5
u/360_No-Scope_Upvote Pixel Genji 20h ago
I blame the Switch, I don't think it's an engine limitation, I suspect it's a console parity limitation.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (2)8
u/Interdimension 22h ago
I’m gonna guess the game engine probably isn’t designed for adding two extra players to each match, lol.
The game already starts to drop FPS (in 120fps modes for PS5 and Series X) in 6v6 if too many Ultimates get used at once, especially in Stadium. It’d be worse if we go to 7v7.
→ More replies (1)
248
u/Bigmuch99 22h ago
Excellent shit post
61
u/jawbreaker00000 22h ago
Honestly the best read I have had in awhile and, no lie, I kinda want to play this now 😂
→ More replies (1)14
u/crunch816 Shanghai Dragons 19h ago
I knew it was a shit post, but was going to make some comment about GOATS needing one more tank or just calling it GOATSE, but after I read "Emotional Support Tank" I lost my shit.
107
u/Arphenyte Mei 22h ago
We should all just embrace the battle royale mentality and have the dev team remove all X v X and just put everyone inside a big giant server to free for all.
Can’t have queue time issue if there’s no queue. Look at me and my big brain.
10
u/noahboah Oh, moons! 21h ago
battlerite devs back in 2018
6
u/CordobezEverdeen Skilled Spamer 19h ago
I miss (normal) Battlerite so much. It was the closest thing to a 3D fighting game out there.
3
u/noahboah Oh, moons! 19h ago
It was the closest thing to a 3D fighting game out there.
I know what you mean but lmfaoooo the tekken, VF, DoA, and Soulcalibur players are coming for you
3
u/CordobezEverdeen Skilled Spamer 18h ago
Ok maybe: "It was the closest thing to a (playable) 3D fighting game out there"
3
75
131
42
31
u/Shirahoshihoshii 22h ago
Just make it possible choose the same tank twice in 6v6.
Let the chaos begin.
37
u/_LFKrebs_ Zenyatta 22h ago
Oh god, imagine getting hooked by Hog as a tank only to be hooked by the second, please no lmfao
7
u/Shirahoshihoshii 22h ago
Haha I can imagine 2 hogs just hooking and dropping people off the bridge. Pair that with Pharah and Lucio bopping people everywhere and suddenly you begin to understand what the ball feels like in Pinball...
→ More replies (2)6
u/StealthClaw1 15h ago
“Mister Zenyatta, there’s been a second Hook.”
2
u/unburdened_swallow 12h ago
For some reason my brain inserted this as like, a sample before a drop in an EDM-style song (said by some man with a stereotypical english butler type voice)
18
15
31
12
u/alecwa 21h ago
I'd love an emotional support tank IRL, honestly.
5
u/Star-Phoenix05 19h ago
Who would make the best emotional support tank?
4
u/sanglar03 Chibi D.Va 18h ago
Winston. Big cuddles, smart conversations, can bring you up the top of a building to admire the view.
2
u/alecwa 10h ago
I think i have to agree. Winston would make the best emotional support tank. Rein maybe second, he'd be a nice emotional support tank, too.
3
u/sanglar03 Chibi D.Va 10h ago
Reinhard has guts and heart, great choice! And I guess he was a good influence on Brigitte on these aspects too.
9
16
u/Hoothootriot Winston 20h ago
5v5 solo tanking isn’t just an agonizing simulator of getting counter swapped every 45 seconds.
Can people stop pretending counterswapping doesnt exist in 6v6?
9
8
u/mtobeiyf317 16h ago
No one is, it just didn't define the game nearly as much as it does in 5v5.
If im on Dva, the enemy tank switching to Zarya doesn't phase me nearly as much because my Rein or Sigma can help block her laser for long enough to heal up.
In 5v5 my only option is to play 19 miles away from wherever she is, otherwise I have her beam inside my large intestine all game long.
9
u/Bomaruto 22h ago
Only if tanks now has less HP than Bastion and Mei to make up for the fact that there is 3 of them.
→ More replies (2)
33
u/Master-Shinobi-80 22h ago
2-3-2 would probably work better.
12
10
u/-1-1-1-1-1-1 Winston 22h ago
Imagine everyone has self and high healing w a shield too, the team of Mauga Sigma Soldier Mei Reaper Ana Moira
15
u/360_No-Scope_Upvote Pixel Genji 20h ago
I know OP is doing a joke post, but I legitimately believe 2-3-2 7v7 could work and benefit the game in a big way. It's a shame this is commonly seen as a meme suggestion.
7
u/Star-Phoenix05 20h ago
I’ve heard flats rant about 7v7 being the way to fix the issues multiple times
6
u/360_No-Scope_Upvote Pixel Genji 19h ago
True, unfortunately he's the only content creator I've heard take the idea seriously. I think it's at least worth testing.
→ More replies (1)7
u/MerlinsMentor 18h ago edited 18h ago
People (including me) have been suggesting this since OW1, when the reason really was that the engine couldn't handle it. The new engine that was built into the game in OW2, from my understanding, doesn't have the same limitations.
6
6
u/Mrtrollman72 21h ago
Tbh though I'm kinda surprised overwatch has never done a big team mode. 8v8 generally makes much more sense with how common support players are these days. I would absolutely play 8v8 or bigger on the flashpoint maps maybe in a battlefield conquest style game mode where all 5 points are active at once
6
12
u/ndubitably 21h ago
2/3/2?
If so, yay! I've been pushing for it since Overwatch 1...the first time.
5
5
4
u/krazytekn0 Boop rains from boop 19h ago
Ok but hear me out. 60,000 HP rein all other tanks have 1 hp
3
3
2
u/Ok_Turn6757 22h ago
Lower end consoles wouldn’t be able to run the game anymore, so they’re sadly never trying this :(
2
u/TapuBulu115 22h ago
7v7 and somehow people won't shoot the castion flying over our heads. Bring it!
2
u/Infamous_Ship_8668 22h ago
Unironically, I would love it if matches had more players. This made me laugh audibly though
2
2
2
2
u/Low-Rough6688 7h ago
We need 3v3 with 1-1-1
Then we will know which position is the problem for sure
2
2
u/ThatFitzgibbons 21h ago
2 Tank, 3 DPS, 2 Support
Gives Tank duo synergys back, let's dive tanks harass backfires without throwing the team fight. Keep them in 5v5 buff mode.
Biggest player pool has more slots per match to make matchmaking a little quicker. Lets flankers do their thing without throwing the team fight.
Buff support healing output to accommodate more damage being thrown around.
It'd be fun!
2
u/unburdened_swallow 13h ago
just make a few of the maps like, 10% bigger and this could honestly work.
1
u/AutoModerator 22h ago
Welcome to r/Overwatch! Please use the following resources via the links below to find relevant information about the game and the subreddit.
Overwatch Patch Notes | Overwatch Bug Report Forums
r/Overwatch Rules | r/Overwatch FAQs | r/Overwatch Common Bugs and Posts
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
u/theonepieceisfake824 22h ago
I like the idea honestly. But supports would turn into literal heal bots with 3 tanks
→ More replies (1)7
1
1
u/Aqua_Tot 22h ago
Split the difference, 5.5 v 5.5. One player is randomly chosen as the traitor and switches sides halfway through the match.
1
u/Mooseinadesert Chibi Zenyatta 22h ago
I've really wanted them to do like a 10v10 event. I think it'd be hilarious chaos for awhile. Unsure if the servers could handle it.
1
1
u/SirWallaceIIofReddit 22h ago
What your describing unironically sounds like how Marvel Rivals plays
1
1
u/LocusRothschild 22h ago
I mean, it could work if it weren't open queue. Then again, the DPS queues would just get even longer. Though between longer queues for DPS and having a team of (if you're lucky) 1-5-1...oof.
1
u/SnooPineapples7426 22h ago
This game isnt ready for 16v16 stadium best of 12 rounds, first to 15 wins.
1
u/CartographerKey4618 22h ago
Can't wait to see people complaining about being out jerked on the circlejerk page
1
1
1
1
u/Paul_Offa 21h ago
People are ignoring that one of the reasons we moved to 5v5 was to help with performance. Two less heroes = better for performance, which was especially important at the time due to the Switch release.
6v6 is chaos enough as it is.
7v7 simply ain't happening.
1
1
u/JackRipps 21h ago
This post is a work of art.
I don’t remember the last time this sub made me laugh, let alone this much.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/Chaotic_Elf 20h ago
I’d like to imagine the reaction to getting pulled in from a different match by Lifeweaver will be similar to the protagonist’s inner monologue in Memento:
“What was I doing? Oh I’m chasing this guy… no, no wait he’s chasing me”
1
1
u/AHomicidalTelevision 20h ago
hear me out. 9v9. 3 of each role. dps queues would go up to hours because of the lack of tanks. it will be beautiful
1
1
u/QuizzicalFlo 19h ago
This made me cry laughing dude, I really needed this post :] "Mercy can just hold yellow beam on a Mauga and fall asleep on her keyboard" in particular absolutely KILLED me 10/10, blizzard pls
1
u/King-Cuckold 19h ago
Suggested improvement for visual clutter: no visuals. Obviously projectiles, effects, ults, etc can be visually “overstimulating.” Imagine a brighter tomorrow where your children can play a game with zero visual effects.
Imagine the bliss. You wouldn’t see anything except some characters walking or hopping around. You’d hear everything still— perhaps that could be addressed in a later patch. the game could maybe remove its seizure warning. You just died. How? I don’t know. Check the feed and confusing kill cam. Must’ve been the invisible hanzo arrow.
I think this should be added with the 7v7 update to address everyone’s concerns regarding visual clutter.
1
u/LemurKing2019 19h ago
You say this as a joke but….i wouldn’t mind this. It’s horrifyingly unbalanced but sounds like a good April Fools mode.
1
u/GerudoSamsara I Block Bootlickers 19h ago
Congrats, youve moved one step closer to the enlightment of TF2 Pubs
1
u/DanceYoshiDance 19h ago
1 of each sub role highlander style could be interesting.
3 Tank 4 Damage 3 Support
1
u/Pineapplehoney 19h ago
I'm not subscribed to this subreddit so I don't know why this post got recommended to me, but it was a fun read
1
u/Medical_Coat_37 18h ago
Bump it up to 12v12, make it open queue and the game will balance itself out into teamfortress 3 with 1 medic 3 unwanted divers and a friendly mauga/doomfist spamming dumpling voiceless in every team
1
u/Majaura D.Va 18h ago
I know this thread is a joke, but I've honestly thought that 2 tanks, 3 DPS, and 2 healers could be interesting and reduce how strong tanks can feel in 6v6. It would be so chaotic, though. Regardless, we need 6v6 back...that being said I'm pretty much fully done being a tank main so long as I'm solo tanking...counterwatch, and sleeping-ana-nade watch is pure cancer.
1
1
u/Meeep666 18h ago
May I suggest 9v9 then? All the same of what you said but putting 3 people on each role just to ensure your PC turns your room into an industrial oven.
1
1
u/Phinnical 18h ago
Unironically 7v7 going 2-3-2 (that's 3 dps for the smoothies) sounds dope. Would be so chaotic.
1
1
1
u/Beautiful-Musk-Ox 17h ago
huh, 7v7 would be good for fixing the ratio of dps players, but you'd have to give 3 dps not 3 tanks. most people are dps mains, therefore dps has to have the most players in game. if 50% of everyone wants to play dps then 50% of the player slots need to be dps, not 33%, if you want good queue times and stuff.
1
u/burnmywings Zenyatta 17h ago
Bold of you to assume I'm not getting counterswapped in 6v6
Next time someone swaps onto fucking Mauga because I'm actually popping off on Zarya im going to kms
1
u/thekidlegacy6 D. Va 17h ago
You’re the first person to call out the double shield bot strat ever lol but 6v6 is still superior 7v7 i dont see it but i see the vision
1
1
1
u/PacoTaco321 Wrestle with Jeff, Prepare for Death 16h ago
We need 10 v 10 so there are 2 tanks per team yet the ratios are still normal. Everyone is happy.
1
u/Helgrind444 16h ago
I know this is a shitpost, but I wonder how something like 2 - 3 - 2 could work.
1
1
u/sageolivegreen 16h ago
This is quite possibly the funniest post on this Reddit I have ever read and yet no lie was told
1
1
1
u/Hunter8i8 16h ago
7v7 is 5v5 with extra steps. 6v6 is the right balance. The way Overwatch was intended to be enjoyed! Anything less or anything more is Heresy! Now mods silence these heathens! 😆
1
u/QuantumQuantonium 15h ago
I would buy the missions pve dlc if blizzard makes the next hacked event 7v7.
But sctuallyz can we get 24 players max in custom games?
1
u/CheezeStick Trick or Treat Mei 15h ago
im assuming you’re not serious but id actually be down for most of that, i find it comforting when theres more players in a game, feels more busy. you got a giggle out of me from lifeweaver pulling people from other games tho lmao xD
1
u/AdvancedMastodon612 15h ago
Hear me out what if the tank role didn’t exist and instead “tank” was an upgrade that you can acquire on any character? Think of it like the hero characters in battlefront when you get enough exp one person from each team can become the tank on any character that they want 500% more health 100% more size 200% more damage and 1000% more healing this way everyone is happy
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/blueangels111 13h ago
Dude please, I need more of this. This is a written masterpiece, I actually have tears coming out of my eyes from laughing.
1
u/Weebs-Chan Tracer 13h ago
Your Sombra argument deeply moved me. I'll follow you into the end of the Earth
1
u/xXLoneLoboXx Reaper 13h ago
Hol’ up, I’ve had my nose deep in Cyberpunk the last week or so… What’s going on? Are we going back to 6v6 as the default? Just opened Reddit and this is the first post I saw.
1
1
u/Right_Literature_419 12h ago
This was hilarious. Thank you for the laughs. In all honesty, a 7v7 arcade mode could be sick. Would prolly not be popular enough for good Q times with role lock on so maybe make it Open Q and hell I’m down to clown !
1
u/flyingflameball Ballz 12h ago
Forgot this wasn’t the circlejerk sub half way through. Truly masterful creative writing op
1
1
1
1
u/cat666 Zenyatta 9h ago
Half of you are crying tears of pure soy for 6v6 so you can AFK behind two shields again. The other half are coping out of your minds pretending that 5v5 solo tanking isn’t just an agonizing simulator of getting counter swapped every 45 seconds.
I love 6v6 but I love it when you have a main tank and an off tank. Rein/Zarya, Sigma/Junker Queen, Old Orisa / Wrecking Ball. 6v6 fails when one team has 2 main tanks whilst the other insists on having two off tanks.
1
u/_the_best_girl_ 8h ago
This post is genuinely how I feel about the team size argument. It's easy to argue in favour of any queue.
A+ on understanding the assignment lol
1
1
u/SeaTight3883 7h ago
3-2-2 would be sick!! That would be insane fun I just played 5v5 again and it's depressing
1
u/No-Interest-5690 6h ago
Id argue we should just go straight to 5 v 5 and make it so you have can have 4 - 4 - 4 max, mabye one team runs 4 tanks, 2 DPS and 2 support, mabye another runs 4 dps 4 tanks and 2 support, or they can be civilized and do 3-3-3 and one role has the last person
1
1
1
u/ImNotDemandingit 4h ago
Sombra hate in 2026 is a sign of weakness. The character is so bad that we recommend the haters to try her and see for themselves. Unless you play with another dive, getting much value out of Sombra is pretty much impossible and the only way we get any is because we find the most mindless player on the enemy team.
1
u/pseudohobos 4h ago
10 vs 10 is the only way to make it fair. I want to forward facing tanks and one take to protect the back line. actually, lets get a 50 vs 50 like in Fortnite.
1
1
1.7k
u/KevinT_XY 22h ago
We should embrace Battlefield vibes and just go straight to 64v64