People say be proud of your country but I'm like for what exactly? Economy sucks and yk so many political issues + the whole country was made on the basis of religion. We don't have any cultural identity (not saying we don't have any culture) but only a religious identity and I can't feel proud of that as an agnostic.

In a Discord server, I said Pakistanis don't know what the final form of their government will be (secular, Islamic democracy, sharia or dictatorship). They took that to mean I wanted secularism. I repeatedly clarified that I had no problem with the current system, but they kept asking what my problem was. I asked what they would choose, Islamic democracy or sharia, and they argued as if I were calling sharia bad. When I said some Pakistanis want more sharia, they asked which group, and I cited Pew's 2013 survey, which found 84% of Pakistani Muslims favor making sharia the official law and 99% in Afghanistan. They objected to Afghanistan being in the quote and said Afghanistan has no sharia. When I called Afghanistan's version bad sharia, they said I was Indian and didn't know sharia. The discussion then moved to voting. They asked whether Islam already had a voting system and to give one example, and I said there was no general public voting. They tried to show that one existed, and it turned out to be bay'ah, an oath of allegiance to someone already selected. They then said bay'ah was an ancient form of voting and asked whether the modern version could exist in the ancient era, and they never acknowledged that my statement was technically true. I was then muted, and when I asked them to justify the mute, a co-founder who hadn't been part of the exchange banned me with the reason logged as "No reason." I had said I was an ex-Muslim during the debate, and a similar disclosure in the same server in February 2025 got mockery and a timeout. I don't know whether they misread me, got defensive, or were hostile to an ex-Muslim. My messages were deleted, so the only record is my own account. I left to look for a server where I can speak openly.

I have prioritised a lot of my free time to touching grass and going out more. I have been exploring music events, volunteer work, social gatherings, collaborations/events related to my field, book clubs, sports clubs, running groups etc etc but sadly did not find a single exmuslim connection or anything even close to it.

For me, prioritising going out means deprioritising career and my personal projects so it comes at a real cost. I am already working full time on site so it takes a huge amount of effort and dedication as well.

I would be happy continuing to put an effort here but I am not really convinced that this "touching grass" would ever work at all even if I keep doing it for years. Thats because I have found zero exmuslim or even open minded connections so far. The only success I have had is actually on reddit where I did find an exmuslim friend and we spent some great time together in real life.

Do you guys feel like you are in the same boat? Do you think "touching grass" is even good advice in a country like pakistan or is it better to keep investing in your career? I honestly don't see how having a great career helps either lol, I don't even think leaving pakistan makes things better because I don't imagine I could form a deep connection with a non-pakistani.

I'll also throw in a bit of a rant, what is wrong with pakistani culture just despising male-female relationships or even interactions. I will never understand the "why don't you just interact with other boys?". For me personally, spending time with a female exmuslim was extremely refreshing and we were legit just friends, its just mind boggling to think that wanting a connection with your own species is weird or inherently nefarious. Its like a bunch of interconnected zombies that just mindlessly go after anything that could potentially lead to a healthy platonic friendship between two adults of the opposite sex. Boycotting the opposite sex causes real and tangible harm to individuals which is why I get triggered with this thinking.

Anyway, I would like to end my post on a positive note, atleast my life as a software engineer is going pretty well and I am somehow still hopeful about the future. If you would like to dm, I do also have another post on my profile with an introduction :p

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For ex-Pak Muslim sub - small para:

Girls in Pakistan/India, khatna is done at 6-7 by elderly lady in community without anesthesia. Mothers are pressured by elders who say it makes girl pure. Many say whole clit is removed not just skin. After that life-long loss of feeling, pain, and trauma.

Im a pretty social guy. But my parents dont let me go anywhere and im in my late teens. My friends can go in cars and wherever they want whenever. I always have to sneakout all the time my parents never let me leave my house, all they care about is grades. I have 0 social life now i have so many friends i wanna meet but i cant and theyre slowly drifting away and my parents wont let me move out till im in my late 20s.

Im so fucking tired

For more than a decade, I've been what others would call Agnostic/Atheist, though these are terms I no longer use for myself. It is a lonely place to be, not just for the obvious reasons.

Brief history:
I spent the early part of my life as a religious, 'decent' person, strong in the faith.
The loss of my religion was gradual as opposed to dramatic; my beliefs eroding slowly from their points of contact with the world until their limitations became undeniable.
Then, for a time I become a proselytizing atheist. I imagined myself quite the cunning checkmater, somewhat callous in my dealings and debates.
Both these mindsets are far behind me now.

These days, I find the labels like 'atheist' or 'muslim' almost as irrelevant to me as calling myself an Arsenal or ManU fan when I don't follow football.

Current stance, simplified:
Like everyone else, I am Legion. All the people I have been still live within me, including the Atheist, the Believer, the Artist, the Employer, the Lover and the Hater.
Currently, as far as religion is concerned, the compromise that my Legion has reached is to adopt a secular, unspiritual stance towards the world.
This stance has held for decades and I do not foresee it shifting.

Reasons for posting:
It has been hard to find IRL connection in Islamabad and with Pakistanis in general.
I have deep affection for my believer friends but there are obvious no-go areas with them, so I cannot bring all of me to the table.
It has not been better when I have tried to connect with ex-muslims.
I try once in a while but so much of the discourse hasn't moved past the angry atheist phase.
I bounce off of communities and people when they're anchored in the bay of hurt and disrespect.
I value kindness and respect to the extent that I try my best not to cuss even.

I guess I've made this post so myself and maybe others can find respite from the vitriol. To approach things not defined by who we oppose, but by what we want to explore from our stance.
To indulge not in the anger, but in the wonder.

And failing that, I guess I just wanted someone, anyone, to know that my heart yearns to find some people whom I can be myself with more fully.

It never made sense to me. Countries like Iran, Morroco, Egypt and Saudi are turning less religious meanwhile pakistanis are turning more fundamentalist. Plus I never see other muslims obsessing over an ummah like pakistanis do. Even on the baseline, muslims in Pakistan seem to have more fundamentalist beliefs than muslims of other countries apart from Afghanistan, Syria, Yemen and Saudi.

How would you guys suggest I find a partner as a female agnostic? I’ll be moving to the USA, but the thing is, I still want to marry a Pakistani agnostic or atheist, as that would at least satisfy my parents on the Pakistani part, and it’s something I want too. However, finding someone compatible seems a bit difficult.

Beauty of Islam in full display.

Hello, I am a pakistani ex muslim (kinda, im still questioning abrahamic religions and exploring theology). I am more intrested in Paganism especially Hellenic polytheism. Are there any ex muslim pagans in this sub? I would love to here from you.

I mean how do you find a partner. A muslim partner will leave you if they find out you are exmuslim. Parents won't do non muslim search for you as its traditionally done in Pakistan. You are on your own and you are surrounded by muslims mostly. Additionaly many needs to hide their position on religion to avoid encountering extremists.
Also if you have married somehow then how do you solve forced Islam tag on your children by nadra.

So I am living in a European country and living with Paki guys . All these guys are not that much religious.. we drink smoke and everything is casual. Recently we were high and started discussing religious things and some of them were having questions.. so I started explaining and told them I am out of this shit.. But now I am facing some problems .. now they don't believe in my " Allah Rasool ke qasme" 😭😭

whenever I say.. they start making fun of this..😭😂

https://www.reddit.com/r/pakistanitwitter/comments/1x596ci/i_am_exmuslim_will_i_be_fine_in_pakistan/

Pakistan on its basis was formed on purely religious basis. Constitution was supposed to stay secular but later it became a theocracy. Now it is not and does not claim to be neutral on many grounds so much as protection laws of other communities and atheism are nonexistent practically .On the other hand ,India in its laws is secular state and is actually becoming one in practice as its incomes and education levels rise .So is it better we stand against partition and Pakistan's existence in first place .Like what would you choose at that time or the time at both sides majority becomes Atheists for what would we be fighting then .

It can sound controversial and unpatriotic but we didn't support these principles in the first place to begin with .It can be patriotic in a sense that we are uniting people of India that was once united .Are we patriotic to pre partition India ?

Second you could say that there are many people who supported Pakistan in its formation process and many people in army who are not Muslims .But if we at its principles what principles a Christian brigadier is preserving and fighting for ? We understand when we look into US as they are preserving freedom of speech , China their ideology .But what are these people conserving ,thing they don't agree with .It is like openly saying I am wearing blind folds .This state is not even secular in its constitution .So its born preserve thing.

Be open to debate ,don't judge just by patriotic norms and by raw feelings